Dear Perspectives: How do you make a situation when you are layered (i.e. made to report to one of your peers) work for you?

How do you make a situation when you are layered (i.e. made to report to one of your peers) work for you? Is it always a bad sign, or can something be gained out of such situations? How do you effectively transition a peer-to-peer relationship into a manager relationship? 

I have been asked to report to my peers several times in my career. Likewise, I have been asked to manage my peers more than once as well. This process is messy and fraught with pitfalls. There are a lot of emotions involved, and the evolution of a relationship is sometimes much harder than co-creating one from scratch. 

If you were up for the role, it could feel like a blow to not only not get the job, but to then have to report to someone who used to be your peer. When this happened to me, I struggled at first each time (yes, it happened more than once!). That said, someone you trust and have a strong relationship with can be the key to unlocking new opportunities if they are a strong ally. In fact, a couple of these peers-to-managers ended up being incredible sponsors to me, and they created opportunities for me to grow. 

Here are a few good rules of thumb for navigating layering, and making the transition as painless as possible:

Remember, you don’t necessarily have to “lose” in the transition. Sometimes layering is necessary to improve the effectiveness of a team. For example, a team where the manager has 12 direct reports may be better off having two managers and 5 reports each, if that gives some of the more junior employees more support and guidance. But if you are a senior employee, this could feel like a demotion, since you are now more layers from the top. 

Allow yourself to mourn what happened and get that out of the way. It sucks to be layered, and you should not feel like you’re not allowed to be upset. If you feel like you need to express your dissatisfaction, do so once, but then put it aside. They were put in this position, and you are better off if you focus on setting up your relationship for success. 

Use this transition to hit reset. When you are layered, this is a chance to reset your role, your goals, and your path. Sit down with your former colleague and speak to them as your manager. Help them understand your goals and what you value. Align on a path forward, and don’t assume they know what you care about and what you aspire to. 

Create a new 1:1 doc, and start sharing documentation on your reviews, bilateral commitments you had with your former manager (now your skip-level), and your career path. Help them help you. 

Be a good partner. Your new manager is also likely to be nervous about this transition. They are worried about being rejected by you, just like you are worried about them capping your growth. Tell them you want them to succeed, and that you are committed to that outcome. Ask them what you can do to help. Offer to ramp them up in your area. Set up the relationship for long-term success.  If you act out of frustration, you will make them worry about your willingness to give them a shot, even if your anger is not directed at them. 

Stay connected to your new skip-level manager. After they’ve shared the news with you, ask your current manager if they would be willing to continue to meet with you monthly after the transition, or to grab lunch quarterly. Treat this change as a new phase of your relationship, rather than the severing of it. If you have a mentor-mentee relationship, ask them to continue to be your mentor. Share with them that you will miss working with them and that, while you wish this was not necessary, you are committed to making it work. They will be having a lot of difficult conversations, so you acting with grace will stand out. 

Getting layered is a natural part of most careers, especially in high-growth companies. You can’t change the “what,” but you can make it a palatable and positive experience by focusing on the “how.” Give yourself a chance to mourn, then reset. Once you’ve had time to take a breath, ask yourself: are you creating opposition or allies? 

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