Death by Public Speaking

Did you know that people have admitted to fearing public speaking more than they feared death ? I didn’t know this until very recently, but when I heard it, I was reminded of flushed cheeks, stammering in front of an audience whose eyes bore into me and suddenly I was too tall, too loud, my voice wasn’t good enough and everything that I was, was NOT RIGHT with me. 

I have watched open-mouthed people, men and women, who possess the ability to go up and speak confidently, even if it’s mere passages from a book. I have watched them speak even more compellingly with wide eyes and wider mouth when they speak extempore. To a point where I have had to physically shut my mouth for the fear of drooling in public. God forbid if their English was “tharoorised”, I would have to physically pick up my dropped jaw. I have also been the one sniggering at the speaker and whispering to the next chair saying this person should give it up and go home. 

As I reflect back my first brush with public speaking was during the school assembly where we had to go the Principal’s office and each section in senior secondary had their turn one day in a week. I was usually never picked for the parts till class eleventh where my class teacher, Sister Catherine, God bless her soul, and if she is still alive God bless her, had appreciated my different voice and used me as a news reader for the class. For those who went to a convent school would know that this was the time nails, ribbons, skirts and slips were checked. The only good about the news part was, it signaled the end of assembly after moral science tirade but for me it also gave me my two minutes of fame. A disclaimer though- This wasn’t in front of the whole school since it was on the PA system which was in the Principal’s office, who just didn’t like me very much for some reason. However, day after day as I read, I somehow became the official news reader when it came to my section’s turn from amongst sixty plus children. 

This exposure however still didn’t prepare me for any public speaking, especially when it meant speaking to an intelligent audience and in person.  However, a part of me wanted to speak publicly be applauded, so I would take my chances where I could.  One of the incidents that my friends at The Taj still remind me and we all have a hearty laugh is our first day as Management Trainees where I got up and announced with complete confidence, without not knowing a soul, “ that one behalf of the whole class I would like to thank you sir” or some such thing which my mind blanks out.  Ever since that day it has sealed my fate with my friends who pick on me on each reunion. 

The presentations in front of the class during the training times used to be an ordeal and we would sign silent pacts inside the locker room about no one asking questions to the other when they presented. Each time I would be presented with a question by a batchmate which would have me scrambling or fumbling, he or she would be blessed with two kicks on the backside with a promise of sweet revenge later.

Today as I look back, I realize that it takes courage and guts to put oneself out there. Whether you make an joke of yourself or floor the audience, the fact that you could stand up and face the mike without fainting is brilliant. I’m unsure how the great orators do it, maybe they are trained. I tried as well after an advise from a well-wisher to stand in front of the mirror and repeat my lines before one big presentation,  but all I could see was the unplucked eyebrows and all I could hear was a voice which sounded too raspy, that I decided to read my script and not learn it. After all its easier when you don’t have to look at the audience, don’t you think.......When I did look up however, for a brief millisecond and found one or two heads nodding, I held onto them for my dear life.  I think the fear of being judged was so strong that it almost used to paralyze me. 

Today, and I guess it comes with age, I’m okay to say I don’t know in front of an audience but great question or will figure and let you know and have the ability to not be defensive when I hear question that I don’t have an answer to and that helps. 

So, to all my friends who fear the stage, it’s a valid and super valid fear. But each time you manage to get onto it and speak even if you are not the perfect orator pat yourself on the back for putting yourself out there for it takes courage. 

To sum it up, here are my two pennies worth.

Disclaimer again- Please follow it at your own peril because it’s coming from someone who hasn’t really been a public speaker and has very little experience  but hopes one day to be able to apply all of the below to a successful speech or whatever else you may call it.

1. Read read and read and be thorough with your content. People come to listen to you and what you have to offer so if you are subject matter expert, then you better be.  
2. No one is called to give global gyan unless you are a global gyan specialist, so stick to your subject matter 
3. Engage and make friends with the audience and if you can’t make friends with the entire audience find some in the first one minute and hang onto them for your dear life 
4. It’s okay to say I don’t know but worth finding out or ask the questioner what he/she think. Most of them will think of something that’s why they asked you for your opinion.
5. Make it interactive- People love to hear their own voices and that includes your audiences too unless you are the progeny of Robin Williams or Jim Carey. It also relieves some pressure off you when you make friends with the audience. 
6. You are not here to make a speech about life and death and you are not in a business or saving life so don’t take yourself too seriously. Unless you are in the business of saving life, in which case it doesn’t matter how great an orator you are in any case, only your subject matter does.
7. Deep Breathe but don’t forget to breathe- Happened with a friend who followed the advice but forgot to breathe in between.
8. Know that you are fabulous for simply putting yourself out there and ask how many in the audience would like to trade places with you? So pat yourself on the back before and after. 
9. And finally if everything else fails, a couple of shots of tequilas, before and after, should do the trick.