Debunking the Work Lies That Hold Us Back

Have you ever felt like you're just going through the motions at work, following conventional wisdom that isn't really working for you? 

If so, you're not alone. I recently had the chance to speak with Bonnie Hammer , former vice chair of NBCUniversal, about her new book "15 Lies Women Are Taught to Fail and the Truth That Sets Them Free." And her candid advice reshaped my perspective on how to truly thrive in your career. 

1. Ditch the "Fake It Till You Make It" Mindset

Bonnie shares that one of the most pervasive and wrong bits of career advice is "fake it till you make it." The idea is to act like you have everything figured out, even when you're feeling unsure. But Hammer argues this approach is downright destructive. Instead, she advocates for "facing it till you make it" - being upfront about what you don't know so others can empower and teach you. 

Imagine walking into a new role, admitting "I've never done this before, but I'm eager to learn," instead of pretending to be an expert. It takes courage, but it builds trust. As Hammer shares, every time she was honest about her inexperience, mentors stepped up to show her the ropes. Her vulnerability created space for real growth.

2. Seek Out "Truth Tellers," Not Just Cheerleaders

We all need champions in our corner, but Bonnie stresses the importance of "truth tellers" who will challenge us with tough love, not just affirmation. In her words, "Find a mentor you hate - a foil who tells you the truth, even if it hurts." These are the people who push us out of our comfort zones towards real development.

For me, her advice sparked memories of the candid mentors who helped me see my blind spots and held me accountable. They weren't always a pleasure in the moment, but their honesty forged my biggest breakthroughs. Seek out these truth tellers, even if their medicine goes down a bit rough.

3. Embrace the Zigzag Path

So many of us cling to passions and dreams from an early age, pursuing them relentlessly as a "straight ladder" career. But Bonnie upends this notion, encouraging us to explore unconventional paths through "zigzagging." The work that ultimately excites you may come from an unexpected direction.  

Rather than forcing yourself into a predetermined mold, stay curious and open to pivots. I've found the most rewarding opportunities often emerge from taking a chance on something new that seemed totally out of left field at first. Trust that each zigzag builds valuable experience and self-knowledge.

4. Look for New Ways to Contribute 

When setbacks, changes or obstacles rock your career trajectory, it's easy to get mired in negativity and fear. But Hammer's antidote is powerful: look for new ways to contribute value in the midst of this new reality. Embrace discomfort and seek the potential opportunities hidden within it.

I can't count how many times a curveball turned into a breakthrough for me simply by shifting my mindset from "Why is this happening to me?" to "this isn’t what I wanted or expected, but how can I be of service here?" Hammer's advice is to embody that mindset shift proactively. Change is inevitable; look for the doors it might open instead of the walls.

5. Give Yourself the Gift of No Agenda

Ultimately, much of Hammer's wisdom comes from her newfound freedom to advise without an agenda of her own. Now that she has no ladder left to climb, she can mentor with pure intention - a gift for those still in the hustle. 

For all of us still battling imposter syndrome, political minefields, and our own self-doubt, Hammer's no-hooks-attached perspective is like a breath of fresh air. It's the wisdom of someone who has been there, unvarnished and real.

If these insights resonated with you, I encourage you to listen to my full conversation with Bonnie Hammer on the SPARKED podcast. We explore so many more angles on how to come alive in your career and find work that makes you thrive. 

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