This December: Stop Striving for Perfect; Start Feeling Resourced.

We're finally in December. These last few days of a calendar year make it feel like anything is possible, not only because of the holidays, but because of the approaching new year.

I wrote you a while back and talked a bit about New Year's Resolutions (and why I don't want you to make them), so go back and search your email for it if you missed it.

For now, though, I just want to share a bit of "tough and love" as you slide into the holiday season. I hope it helps you and someone you love. Feel free to share this email with the people who need to hear it. And if you need me, hit reply.

xo Sheila

P.S. On the fence about your career or business? Have a big decision to make, but struggling with your pro-cons list? Need someone to bounce an idea off of to decide whether to turn it into something you can actually act on? A Roadmap to Freedom™ Strategy Session is a great way to get clarity, a new perspective, and a mini plan of action to implement! If you've been seeing a future vision of yourself and you aren't sure how to get there, I want to help you map it out! Add it to your list for 🎅🏽!

🙈 There is no right answer. There is no perfect balance.

Striving for the "perfect" balance between life and work and self-care can break your brain and cause you more stress.

Trying to figure out the "right" answer to a decision that's laced with emotions and strife can suffocate you and steal your joy.

The truth is, striving for "perfect" can hurt yourself and everyone around you.

Perfect isn't real.

Perfect isn't possible.

Right isn't always feasible.

Right often comes with compromise at your own expense.

Instead of striving for perfect and right this holiday season and as you slide into 2025, I'd like to suggest that you aim for RESOURCED (as opposed to under-resourced).

What do I mean by under-resourced?

I'll give you some examples of how it shows up in my clients' lives:

• It's not having reliable childcare, which means having no time for consistent self-care and feeling resentful and jealous of friends without kids. (Result: Exhaustion and Feeling Undervalued)
• It's buying a special, expensive planner ever year and never using it because you don't want to get it messy, which means rarely planning ahead and flying by the seat of your pants. (Result: Anxiety and Feeling Stuck)
• It's taking a 45-minute yoga class right after work to feel calmer in the evenings and sleep better, but having a spouse that doesn't help you with dinner or the house, which undoes all those calm feelings as soon as you walk in the door. (Result: Exasperation and Feeling Unsupported)
• It's actually having people you can to delegate to and then not delegating to them at all, which worsens your feelings of control over your life. (Result: Overwhelm and Feeling Depressed)

Being resourced in all areas of your life is absolutely possible. It might not come all at once, maybe only a tiny bit at a time, but one tiny thing off your plate is better than carrying all the things alone.

You don't have to be at your wit's end in order to improve your life.

And I know you know this, but it's always worth a reminder: it doesn't have to hurt first before you make a lasting change.

You don't have to be in pain to want a better life, better work, or better pay.

💪🏽 A Quick Commitment to Action: Resource Yourself this December!

I've mentioned it before, but it's always worth another - I do an exercise with my clients called The Matrix, where we map out their to-do lists and prioritize their energy and focus for the week and month ahead.

It's an eye-opening exercise that shows them just how much support they have - and don't - and helps them see where they need more resources, where they're under-resourced, and why they feel anxiety, exhaustion, exasperation, and overwhelm.

Even more than that, it helps them see why they could feel undervalued and stuck, or unsupported and depressed, so that they can turn those feelings into something actually helpful - a plan - feeling worthy, in the flow, supported, and happy with their day-to-day.

So, even if you've got a lot of resources, how will you commit to and embrace being even more resourced this month?

1. Where do you feel the most anxiety, exhaustion, exasperation, or overwhelm?

Pay attention to the details - who, what, where, why, when, how, and how much.

2. Where do you feel undervalued, stuck, unsupported, or depressed?

Again, pay attention to the details - who, what, where, why, when, how, and how much.

3. What's one baby step you want to take for yourself in December, that will translate into a solid start for 2025?

Map it out - who, what, where, why, when, how, and how much - then post it on your wall!

🎧 Additional Resource: Giving Yourself Permission: Winning at Life - Episode 8 on the "What Would Sheila Say?" Podcast

🎶 cue Law and Order theme song 🎶

Last time ... on the Podcast

The Podcast is back from its summer hiatus and there are some exciting changes coming in the New Year (more on that soon!).

In the meantime, here are three quotes from the latest podcast episodes on The "What Would Sheila Say?" Podcast:

1. “There was a time when we created something just because it brought us joy. What if you returned to that place, where your work wasn’t tied to clients or expectations, but simply to you?” – Listen here to my chat with Mike Brennan in Episode 74, Reigniting Creative Passions: From Burnout to Breakthrough
2. “The roadmap to motherhood doesn’t stop. When you birth the baby, that’s just one very, very cool rest stop.” – Listen here to my chat with Bec Conant in Episode 75, How to Use Yoga to Prepare Body, Mind, and Spirit for Birth
3. “A podcast is a place where you can hear someone talk to you, and you can hear who they are, and they're communicating with you, and then you build a relationship with them and trust them. We've been naked together.” – Listen here to my chat with Danny Ozment in Episode 76, Building Relationships and Trust through Podcasting

And for all the career firm lawyers out there who just got their bonuses, here's an episode from The "Build Your Joyful and Thriving Lawyer Life" Podcast! 💖

The Latest & Behind the Scenes

1. In late October, I chaired a conference with the Louisiana State Bar Association about the realities and logistics of working remotely. We went deeeeeeep into what it truly feels like to wear the titles of remote worker, trailing spouse, digital nomad, and more. I'm so proud of our speaker slate! If you're interested, here's the link to see the speakers and the resources and takeaways from our day together! ⚜
2. Throughout November, I traveled all over Louisiana as part of the Louisiana Attorney Disciplinary Board's annual CLE Series, speaking to lawyers about what it actually means to live a healthy, Joyful and Thriving life. I spoke to 996 attorneys (!) in five different cities in Louisiana (!), and I have to say, it was amazing and awesome and exhilarating. So many attorneys stayed after to speak with me, and I cannot begin to thank them enough for their trust in me. Here's a photo from the last event in Kenner (thanks to Nicole Babb for the photo!)🥰
3. This weekend, I'm hosting my annual Retreat and Meetup in New Orleans! Catering's been ordered, goodie bags are built, snackies have been acquired, and I’m getting more excited every hour to see my favorite people! (If you're coming, check Circle for updates 💌) In case you missed it, our focus is on 2025 - not setting hard, fast “goals” but instead, creating the energy we’ll need for kicking butt in 2025 with INTENTION. We’re going to spend time visualizing what successful growth looks like a year from now, however we decide to define that. I can't wait!

👀 One final little BTS bonus ... this weekend, I went to Christmas in the Oaks here in New Orleans for the first time in YEARS! (Thanks to Julie Jochum for the invite!) It was positively lovely and FUN (yes, I rode the carousel and of course, I rode the Tilt a Whirl TWICE) ::

It was so much fun, being out and about, looking at the lights, riding the rides, eating smores, and drinking hot cocoa. I needed a bit of fun in my life after this wacky year. Try something new for the holidays, then let me know how it went! 💥

Until next time, I encourage you to build your days in a way that leads you towards your Joyful and Thriving™ life.

xo Sheila

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👋🏽 Hi, I'm 🌞 Sheila M. Wilkinson, LMSW, Esq. (LL.M.) ! I'm a human first and a title second, just like you. My mission is to help you make the right next decisions, reset expectations with everyone around you, and set boundaries that stick - all with a ton of Gentle Accountability™ from the very start! For me, it's all about helping you create your own Joyful and Thriving™ life, career, or business. #whatwouldsheilasay #shedsaydowhatyouwanna 🎶

Want to dive deeper into who you are and what you want? I have two one-on-one slots left for December. I invite you to book a call with me to chat sooner than later. You could have an entirely new perspective on life and a plan of action to implement that puts you on your next path by the new year. Imagine starting 2025 knowing it's possible to have balance at work, a protected private life, with more rest, exercise, and control of your decisions and time, with a future vision of where you are going and doing work that feels like you’re making a difference.