Deep silence for happiness

Yes, I know, the title of this article for many of you will bring up resistance :-) We are not used to silence in our western society, and it is a pity, because we are missing out on a powerful life skill.

Many of you have asked me to share my experience from my 10-day silent Vipassana meditation retreat, so here's a recap and deeper musings.

In short, it was a profound reminder of the power of silence, introspection, and meditation in uncovering the layers of existence. For those drawn to the path of deep inner exploration, and seeking to live a life with more presence, intention, and joy, the experience can be incredibly rewarding.

So, here we go.

During the 10 days, I gradually found myself delving deeper and deeper into familiar truths, now understood with renewed clarity. The retreat didn't so much teach me new concepts as it experientially connected me, on a more profound level, with three pivotal concepts:

• Equanimity: Finding balance in the ebb and flow of life's experiences, understanding that happiness is not about controlling what happens to us but about our responses to what occurs - we don't have control over the external world - as it is proven day by day, but we seem to want to ignore this fact.
• Impermanence: Embracing the constant of change as a fundamental aspect of existence, acknowledging that EVERYTHING, including our bodies, emotions, thoughts, relationships, is in a state of flux.
• Cause of Suffering: Recognizing that our suffering arises from our futile attempts to mold reality to our desires, craving what pleases us and rejecting what does not, a cycle that keeps us from living fully in the present moment.

During these 10 days of silence with no books, no writing material and no electronic devices, I had the opportunity through the daily 10 hours of meditation practice to peel back layers of distraction, allowing me to experience firsthand the transient nature of thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations. This retreat reinforced the understanding of the source of unhappiness: our relentless avoidance of discomfort and pursuit of pleasure, rooted in bodily sensations.

These insights are crucial in our modern world, where disconnection from our bodies can leave us adrift in managing our emotions and keep us in autopilot mode. Our bodies, if listened to, can guide us through the maze of life, helping us to confront discomfort and desire without being enslaved by them.

The retreat underscored that true happiness and the art of living, not just surviving, comes not from avoiding or craving but from observing life's ebb and flow with awareness and equanimity.

These teachings have reshaped my approach to life and self-leadership since. They've reminded me to pause and observe my bodily reactions to emotions, allowing feelings like anger or joy, and pleasant and unpleasant sensations to pass through without autopilot reactivity - and instead respond to them with a deeper clarity of what is actually happening, and not just my knee jerk interpretations.

This practice of mindful awareness has led to moments of profound understanding and compassion, such as seeing beyond a familial disagreement to appreciate underlying intentions.

However, the experience was not without its challenges, akin to navigating a roller coaster in silence. I definitely encountered multiple moments of profound boredom, increased self-criticism, and revelations about the painful physical manifestations of negative thoughts.

Yet, it was also filled with lighter moments of my uncontrollable laughter about human behaviour that spread through the dining floor like wildfire, received with gratitude by fellow meditators who, at the end of the retreat when we could speak :-), thanked me for those moments of deep laughter. I was, though, asked to leave the room to reflect on my laughter :-)

This practice requires dedication, with a suggested practice of two hours of meditation daily, which is challenging to maintain in today’s world. Alongside mindfulness, I have explored and used other effective methods for managing stress and emotional well-being that demand less time and are just as powerful.

For those intrigued by these reflections and seeking to explore meditation and other well-being modalities further, I invite you to join my retreats in Hong Kong or Portugal, or drop me a note to explore 1:1 coaching journeys that include all these modalities.

At Quinta Marugo , our serene environment enhances the journey towards understanding these truths deeply, offering a path to a more fulfilling life.