Defend and Debunk: Closed Mindset
Fixed Mindset vs. Growth Mindset
A fixed, closed mindset is rigid, often rejecting new ideas or perspectives. People with this mindset believe their abilities and qualities are set in stone, so they defend their behaviors and opinions strongly, sometimes feeling that feedback challenges their identity.
In contrast, a growth mindset sees feedback as a tool for learning and improvement. Those with a growth mindset are open to the idea that abilities can develop over time, making them more receptive to suggestions and constructive criticism.
As psychologist and author of Mindset Carol Dweck says, "In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work."
Five Tips to Avoid Defending and Debunking Feedback
1. Pause and Reflect Before Responding
When receiving feedback, resist the urge to defend yourself immediately. Take a deep breath, pause, and absorb what is said. This brief pause can help shift you from a defensive reaction to a more thoughtful response.
"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space, we have the power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." – Viktor Frankl
2. Assume Positive Intent
Often, we view feedback as criticism rather than a constructive observation meant to help us grow. Assuming positive intent helps in perceiving feedback as an opportunity for growth, not a personal attack.
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Think of feedback as a "gift." When someone takes the time to offer constructive suggestions, they are investing in you; at the bare minimum, listen.
3. Ask Clarifying Questions
Asking questions can turn feedback into a constructive conversation. Rather than saying, "I don't agree," try saying, "Could you give me an example?" or "How can I improve in that area?" This approach shows you're open to understanding the feedback rather than pushing it away.
"The art and science of asking questions is the source of all knowledge." – Thomas Berger
4. Look at Feedback as a Reflection Tool
Use feedback to reflect on your behaviors and habits. Instead of dismissing comments about your communication style, for instance, consider whether they're true and how small adjustments could improve your interactions with others. Stop and refer to a past employer or relationship, if feedback is repetitive, it could be true feedback. Remember, you are the common denominator.
As Dweck notes, "The view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life."
5. Practice Gratitude for Feedback
Express gratitude when receiving feedback. A simple "thank you for sharing that with me" can show that you value input, making people more likely to feel comfortable providing feedback in the future. If you care about your career, friendship or relationships, turn feedback into action and do better.
"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more." – Melody Beattie
Adopting a growth mindset doesn't mean agreeing with all feedback; it's about remaining open to possibilities and seeing feedback as a tool for improvement. A closed mindset creates barriers, while a growth mindset opens doors to better understanding, stronger connections, and more fulfilling relationships. By pausing before responding, assuming positive intent, asking clarifying questions, reflecting on feedback, and expressing gratitude, we can move from defending and debunking to embracing and evolving.
As we live each day, let's choose openness over rigidity, growth over stagnation, and connection over isolation. After all, feedback is a gift—one that can help us thrive in every area of life. I hope you take all the above into consideration as you move from 2024 to 2025, strive to be the best version of yourself. Cheers!