#DEIgest 69: DEI mustn't forget about men

It's International Men's Day - but you might not know it. Whilst it is growing in audience - it still has now where near the attention or engagement of International Women's Day (but that's not to say flashy campaigns solve real problems).

For me, this is reflective of a pattern DEI and the work associated with it has fallen into too often - assuming "men" are a homogeneous group who are doing just fine - and continuing this segmentation of identities, ignoring the blurry and complex reality of life. This has been reflected in identity politics - where people are feeling forced to choose a side - often in a binary choice - between liberal or conservative, DEI believer or DEI denier. With busy lives, short attention spans, and misinformation - nuance and detail gets lost behind provocative, clickbait headlines.

How do we go beyond this men vs women dichotomy?

Not just a man

I'll admit, it is an incredibly difficult balance to find. How do we recognise, address, and raise awareness of the specific issues faced by different identities - without making generalisations, ignoring context, and intersectionality. How do we also make decisions on what topics to cover, how often, with how much energy. How do we quantify the level of need, and justify a difference in investment in one topic vs the next?

No one is just a man / woman / [insert characteristic here]. Every single person has a complex tapestry of elements that make them unique, shaped by their innate characteristics and personal experiences. More on this in my earlier article.

BUT - practically, we cannot have 8+ billion uniquely crafted marketing messages, pragmatism has to come into play so a line must be drawn somewhere. As humans we like to group and categorise things - it helps us understand and process the world.

With this in mind though - I believe the line now needs to be moved. What was needed 10 years ago, isn't the case now. I am not denying that we had a lot of catching up to do after centuries of marginalisation, and it's still not a level playing field, but I think so much attention and energy has been focused on the aspect of diversity - we have forgotten about inclusion.

Inclusion should be the focus

My experience is that inclusion must be the foundation of everything - but we avoid it because it is the hardest to measure and articulate.

Diversity - If we continue to focus too hard on diversity - we put people off. If you are considered "diverse" - it can make your accomplishments feel hollow, always questioning if it was merit or to tick a box. If you aren't considered "diverse" - you can't help but suspect that positive discrimination is occuring, where you are disadvantaged for not being a minority rather than on the grounds of merit.

Gender diversity is one of the most common metrics used in business - either because it is mandated by law, or because it looks good to investors, clients, or prospective hires. However, for me, it is too blunt an instrument and creates an "us vs them" mentality - where men are seen as the "problem" simply by virtue of being the majority in many industries. Do we see the same focus and effort being made in industries dominated by women to redress the balance the other way?

It also completely ignores any other diversity of that male population. A company which only reports gender balance KPIs, completely ignores that men aren't just men, and doesn't recognise diversity in terms of ethnicity, disability, neurodiversity, socio-economic background, sexual orientation, etc.

Equity has also become problematic for some people, see my exploration of that here. Again, equity can be an easier focus - because we can measure it, and businesses and humans like quantitative metrics. We can count how many women we put through leadership programmes, or how many mentorship pairings are created. However, again, a fundamental oversight in many equity frameworks is to assume men are ok with what already exists. For me, this assumption goes against a fundamental DEI principle (never assume), and can cause the resentment from men that they are "missing out", whilst they perceive others getting special treatment. To remedy this, we must work to ensure equity frameworks consider all aspects, and wherever possible, allow for personalised career and development support. We must also tackle stigma and work cultures which discourage men from feeling able to take advantage of policies considered "for women" - such as flexible working, or parental leave.

Inclusion is where I believe we should focus - but it is harder to measure as it is more of a feeling. Even for dedicated DEI professionals, it is impossible to cover every possible diversity characteristic in detail - let alone for your average manager who has a million competing priorities and pressures. Whilst the work of DEI professionals is important - the reality is, most people's experience of whether they feel included in the workplace is with their manager and their team. We need to equip managers and leaders with the approaches and frameworks to adopt inclusive attitudes and behaviours - so they are open to learning, understanding, and adapting to each individual's circumstances. This way, we don't simply label someone as a 1 dimensional man and assume he's good. Instead, we take the time to get to his circumstances, aspirations, and needs - and respond accordingly. If we do this for everyone, we create a highly motivated, engaged, and supported workforce which leads to better business performance.

Inclusion as a unifier

Our world is increasingly fragmented, polarised, and volatile. We have a choice on the role DEI plays in either furthering division, or bringing people together to find commonalities.

I worry that continuing a narrow, identity driven approach, risks alienating those who don't feel part of the groups which are highlighted. If we instead take a broader, more nuanced approach where we focus on finding commonalities and understanding of each other's unique circumstances - we can reverse the trend of DEI being seen as "woke nonsense" which only benefits some - rather than an enabler for all which drives innovation, engagement, and satisfaction. Also remembering - inclusion doesn't mean we all have to agree. If we truly value diversity of thought, we have to accept different perspectives to ours - rather than trying to replace one dominant view with another which we feel is "correct".

So this International Men's Day - take some time to understand the issues facing men - but also consider how we can break out of this identity driven cycle, and instead highlight and meet the real, complex, intersectional experiences and needs of different people throughout the year - including those of men.