Depression and Anxiety - What's it all about and How I Overcome it??

I started writing out this article, today morning itself. I decided to take this initiative not just for the #topic being #trending everywhere nowadays but for a cause. See nothing remains the same for the whole life-time, people come and go similarly, money, power everything is temporary nothing is permanent. And remember when I say these words to someone else, I am the one to abide by them first. I know it hurts when you go through bad times, it's okay to be low when someone leaves when there's nothing good it's all okay. There's nothing bad about it.

People have now started to speak the word "depressed" so frequently. People have no idea what is the #idealogy of the person. Yes, depression is a thought process, that a person undergoes a phase of life where he is at his lowest point of self-esteem, confidence, and love. As we will move deeper into this topic, it will be getting even more clarified about how you can help someone or you can overcome this situation. People are interested in discussing people making their views but not to help them,

To keep you engaged, I will be frankly speaking out to you, through this article. So basically what are some of the things that come in mind when you say he/she is suffering from depression? In general, we may think that the person is suffering from some kind of financial crisis, maybe a heartbreak, a betrayal, loss of someone, etc. Correct, to some extent you may be right as most of the time that's the case. Now let's move to the stats. Almost every 2nd person in the world suffers from depression. Every year almost 8 million people commit suicides, with the young people being there at majority. So have you ever asked someone in need that how he/she is?? Is the person fine?? You ever just tried communicating with that person about sharing his/her problems with you. Most of us just move on saying it's his/her problem why poke our nose in other's matter, but ever thought what a single contribution to let him share his feelings does to that person. The problem is so vast that we can spend a whole day discussing this topic, but again there's nothing good if we drop the idea without talking about the solution.

So let me share with you my story, how life has been to me, and what I am today. I am born into a middle-class family. During the initial stages of my life, my father hardly earned Rs. 2500 per month and a lot of expenses to be held with this small income. A lot of expenses to be managed with this small income, though my grandfather was as rich as a landlord though he never helped. With the time my parents worked hard to earn a living. TI was bold enough from my childhood when I missed something to note down in the class, I used to make my notes sitting below the "Imli" tree and return around 5pm in the evening. I walked 5 km back to home from my school whenever my notes used to be incomplete. I remember when I was in 2nd Grade, I had Lil brother, I still remember a special thing about him that he had 6 fingers. One day I returned from school and just in curiosity, I directly went into the room where he was sleeping. Then I went to get refreshed and came back after some time. I tried waking him up so I can play with him. I tried waking him up a lot and then told about it to my mom. The next moment everything seems like it's over now. At a small age of 8 years, I carried him to the shore of the river to be buried. I never had any idea what was going on, I just asked my dad about why he is being put down over there and he didn't utter a word. I was so innocent that I buried my best toys with him so that he can play with them. This was my first encounter with death.

In 2009, we shifted to a new city as my dad got a better job. We were again living the same life though I grew up a bit notorious with time. I never had friends until I reached 4th Grade. I remember my mom never liked me as she always wanted a girl so, I was badly treated, though I enjoyed every moment with my father. I remember that I failed in a class test and my father was out of station for training purposes, the age when I loved playing video games, the CDs of those games were broken in front of my eyes as a punishment and from that very moment a fear developed within me, and I never dared to score low in any exam. I was always compared with my sister who was in the same class though we studied in different schools.

Things went on I was in 11th class when I scored only 4/20 in the AP/GP Class Test and, I am still bad on those topics. Another time I cried for low marks, but this time my father said it's okay, sometimes "It's okay to not be okay". I completed Class 11th without any tuition and joined classes for chemistry and physics in class 12th. One day my chemistry tuition teacher, insulted me for the fees not being given on time. From that day itself, I made a self-promise that I will clear out JEE MAins on my own, and very well I did it.

As soon as I entered college, I started feeling that I am so different. I felt like I have something "cool factor" missing out. The biggest mistake of my life took place when I fell in love with a girl for the first time and let me tell you never to make this mistake. Never think that you are nothing without a single person. It was my first rejection and, I know it feels like everything shattered all there itself. Somethings also went wrong and, at the same time I can clearly see the flashback of my whole life in the background, and I made my first suicide attempt. Things changed and, my friend circle also left me(basically they stopped accepting me) and, I was left alone. One night I texted, one of the most trustable friends about the situation I was undergoing, and I got a reply, that she is not at all interested out in solving my problems and I should no more contact her seeking help. Completely shattered with those words, I was completely alone. The next year I was promoted to 2nd year and, it was the time I grew up more productive with time, things went happening as they were and with the time my mom started developing a hatred for me. Whenever my father supported me in any instance, she started making awe of every small thing. 

I remember being part of the Alumni Meet Team and was asked to pick all those coming from a flight around 7:30 pm but due to delay the flight landed around 10:00 pm. After dropping them to the destination, I came back to college and, called my mom at around 12:00 pm if I can come back as my home was about 7 Km far away only from my college, and she asked me to stay in college, even after I told her that I have a cab available to drop me. I was never supported by my professors in any regard that they should have helped me. I remember my 19th birthday, having my home and college in the same city. I slept in a college during the hackathon, they even didn't wish me a Happy Birthday, nor congratulated me for winning the Hackathon. The next week I had my class tests, I lived on the streets getting food from the hostel, empty pockets, and sleeping in a public library. Even before the lockdown started, I lived in the college hostel. I was to move to another city, without any ticket, 2 days before the lockdown was announced but my seniors brought me back home.

The Moral is I encountered a countless number of problems, at some moments I gave up but there is always someone around us who will help you, holding your hands and bring you out. When you have no one understand that it's your time to hustle. Never choose an unworthy person to be there with you in your hard times. Always keep hustling. I know how it feels to be low but "It's okay, to not be okay". You always don't need to be the same productive person. Sometimes your choice can be wrong, don't regret it. Never feel guilty. Never judge yourself based on other views. Never compare yourself, everyone is unique. You may fall, but if you fall, you will rise again if you stand out.

Remember these words today, cause I may not be always there to encourage you, maybe even I may fall back into the same situation and doing the same mistake but it's the responsibility of people around you to ask about you. If they don't ask to speak to them if they argue hustle, but if they don't care don't give a fuck. Sometimes it's better keeping yourself busy and away from this world so that you can attain personal peace of mind. I spent my 2 hours writing this down for everyone and by the end, I have tears falling down, don't let my tears shed in vain. Let my tears and hard work make a small contribution to your life. I hope you have a great day ahead.