Despite our concern that advice is not wanted, it might be what's needed to keep someone off the rocks.

Chris Baker's recent article, How I Failed Badly at Something Very Important, And What I Learned reminded me of a similar experience I had while on holiday this summer and how I failed by not offering advice at the conclusion

As with Chris' story, it was a near miss for someone else that became a missed opportunity for me, and therefore a failure.

My story starts off simply enough on a beach in Paihia.

As we were pondering the health benefits of a swim followed by an ice cream, a boat similar to this one motored towards the beach. They dropped anchor - a not uncommon occurrence on an NZ beach. We didn't pay much attention - the family of 4 were all in life jackets, they still had plenty of depth, and they weren't in our way.

The boat itself wasn't brand new, but it wasn't particular old either. Our guess was that it was a recent acquisition for the family who were using this as an opportunity to practice boarding while in shallow water. The only one not willing to play the part was the golden lab who (uncharacteristically) wasn't having a bar of the water.

So we went swimming.

The part of the beach we were in was the most exposed to the open sea - it faced right out to the mouth of the bay - so there were some waves. Not big to surf, but big enough.

Eventually they decided to move the boat. I watched as Dad leaned out the hatch to pull the anchor in, noting that the motor was off and the prop up out of the water - at this stage they still had enough depth that it could have been down.

"He'd find it a lot easier if he motored over the anchor first" I said to my mate "safer too, won't get pushed around by the waves". As the anchor came out of the water I my thought also was that it wasn't fit for purpose. Similar to the one pictured, it is intended for smaller boats and doesn't work so well in sand.

Then it happened.

The first wave pushed the boat too shallow - it was beached.

The one after that spun it round so it was broadside. The rest took turns to either push it shallower or try and roll it over.

Mum and the kids jumped over the side to try and get it pointed in the right direction, Dad stayed on trying to balance against mother nature, and we headed over to lend a hand.

With the combined effort of Mum, 2 kids, and 4 extra adults we eventually got the bow pointed into the waves and into a position that the engine could be lowered. As he moved to deeper water we got a shout of appreciation from a clearly relieved Dad. Mum and the kids stayed on land and headed down the beach a bit.

Crisis averted, a very unhappy golden lab stuck it's head over the side.

So, where did I fail.

During the incident the main focus was on getting the boat pointed in the right direction, which we achieved - success!! But once we resolved the incident there were three pieces of advice I should have given based on my own experience around boats:

1. I should have quizzed if Dad had ever done a boat safety course - if he had not then I would have politely suggested he do so as they would teach the right techniques on anchoring (if he had done one then the suggestion would have been more strongly worded about going back over his notes).
2. I should have also suggested they check they have the right gear for the job. As covered earlier, the anchor they were using was not fit for purpose and there was no evidence of a sand anchor on the boat. A visit to a marine supply store would not have been out of the question at this point.
3. As we got the boat into deeper water my internal monologue was the need to check for damage to the hull. Even though it was soft sand, it doesn't take much to cause a problem. I didn't voice this thought as I assumed Dad would be thinking the same thing.

Why did I not speak up? It had a lot to do with not wanting to offer unsolicited advice in what had been a stressful situation for the family.

But...

Sharing any of the above could have meant they never found themselves in a similar situation.

It could have also been done in a way that was respectful, non-judgemental, and solicited.

If you feel the need to offer unsolicited advice, first ask “Do you want some ideas to improve the situation?” This way they have the option to say no, and they’ll likely give you more attention when they’ve agreed to take your help.

How many times have we walked past a situation where simple advice would have been invaluable, but we chose to walk on thinking "they don't need my advice"? Next time, consider the possibility that it isn’t strictly true. Instead, consider that your advice might be invaluable.

And be prepared for them to accept it.

#Riskmanagement #Planning #IncidentResolution