DISAGREE

Accepting and embracing disagreement is difficult for some people who seek harmony and cooperation all the time.

However, without dissent and differing opinions, the world would be a very bland and conformist place indeed.

Embracing disagreement is a valuable way of learning new ideas, tempering your own ideas into workable outcomes, and reaching solutions that everyone can benefit from.

Sometimes disagreement can lead to conflict, but it can also lead to discussion and learning. Remember that disagreement does not equal conflict.

Recognize that it is important to exercise an open mind. Ask a lot of questions. Try to understand why and how the person drew the conclusion that you disagree with. You might find he or she has experienced things you have not, and those experiences can shed light on your own beliefs.

To prevent the discussion from escalating into any kind of argument, communicate empathetically by stating observations, feelings, needs, and requests in that order.

Somewhere in there, be sure to thank the other person for expressing his or her opinion. Disagreement means that the person you are dealing with is bringing a different perspective into the mix and offering you a chance to broaden your horizons.

You can appreciate someone's viewpoint without agreeing with it. If the discussion drags on in a stalemate of sorts, it is probably better to move on and talk about something that you do agree on. Know when to agree to disagree.

Remember that you must confront the problem, not the person. Embrace the other person’s point of view and actively seek for a solution. Emphasize the reconciliation. It is not about winning or getting your demand met. It is about reconciling the relationship. If you have to express disagreement, do not become a passive person...

This 642-page book is the result of a four-year project called Project Tomorrow. During the four-year period, we followed more than 500 trainees, aged from 16 to 72.

The trainees were from colleges and reinsertion programs in administration and computer science. Some of the trainees that were implicated where dropouts from school districts, and others were new immigrants or unemployed workers from different economic and social backgrounds.

To graduate, the trainee had to perform during a period of three months in a business environment. At the end of that time, an appreciation evaluation was performed to determine both the amount of change the trainee experienced during the period and the impact of that change on the trainee.

Many of the questions, reflections, and answers presented in this book are issued from our findings during this period. We would like to thank all the trainees for their efforts and determination during the process.

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