Discover yourself (with this mini guide)

As this is the topmost thought that´s popping up since morning, so, even if it is very personal and I have never shared it to anyone in writing till now, I feel like sharing with you all –

So, it was the experience of my first pregnancy and how I ´survived´ it.

I am an immigrant in a country. It means I did not have any support (immediate physical help) from neither my family nor my husband´s family. I mean, I had neither my mother nor mother-in-law, but only my husband, to accompany me during my first pregnancy. I want to point out that I had neither any ´previous experience´ nor any ´how to´ bear a pregnancy guide with me.

1st trimester was full of nausea. I used to vomit even the water that I was taking. Somehow, survived this phase and during the 2nd phase, in addition to dental issues, leg cramps, skin issues, pains or aches, my feet started to swell and hinder movement. Even then I remember accompanying my husband to stores, walking in search of baby´s  clothes, accessories, toys, crib, sheets, diapers, and every time while coming back home, I used to climb three stories with both hands full of shopping bags.

During 3rd phase, I got detected with Gestational diabetes as well. Yes, it was a result of those strong cravings, due to which I used to empty full can of condense milk in a single sitting or make milkshakes with fruits and ice creams and top it with almonds or chocolates from my 2nd trimester onwards. So, during the 3rd trimester (7th month), I got detected with gestational diabetes. My gynecologist after checking my lab test reports mentioned me to get hospitalized as the high glucose level in blood could harm the baby. I remembered myself practically begging him and mentioning him that - ´No matter what I need to do, I will do it, but I don´t want to hospitalize now and stay on a bed´.

He sent me to a nutritionist, who put me on a very special diet. Immediately after visiting the nutritionist, I went back to my gynae and he, then, taught me some exercises (to do during pregnancy) and that I needed to walk daily. I agreed and left with a promise to come back after 15 days with new test reports.

I remember the strict diet I had to go through. Even with my full hunger during evenings (amidst lunch and dinner), I was allowed to eat only 6 almonds or 2 palitroques (thin bread sticks). I did not only have to go through this extreme diet, but also on daily basis, was doing exercises and then going for a walk of 45 minutes with my husband during evening time. Then after ´every´ 7 days, I had to get my glucose level detected (on fasting of around 8- 9 hours, which was too much for me due to pregnancy) and later after eating, got it checked as well.

After 15 days, when I revisited my gynae, and took my new reports, my glucose levels and other reports were under control now. So, he agreed to let me be ´free´ and not hospitalize me.

I remember I used to get up crying due to leg cramps during 3rd trimester but had to keep walking, doing my exercises and maintain proper diet regime to stay under advised range of glucose levels.

Let me tell you one thing – I used to travel from one city to another city (approx. 1.5 hour) to my gynae, with my husband during my pregnancy and my gynae was the only one (after my husband) with whom I could feel bonding and trust him for my delivery.

During 8th month, we booked a room in one of the hospitals advised by my gynae based upon my due date. Everything was going fine. I was very happy, as despite the weight of the baby, the pressure that I used to feel on my waist, legs, the itching that it used to bring me on my body sometimes, the leg cramps that used to wake me up and made me cry during nights, everything seemed normal. I always kept moving around, doing my exercises, walking, and following strict diet and climbing up and down three stories with both hands full of shopping bags to help my husband till last day of my pregnancy.  

Let me tell you I am an anti-medicine (who generally does not like to take medicine) and during my pregnancy, the only medicines that I used to take was folic acid capsules and calcium with vitamin D.

I remember 15 days prior to due date, one evening, something did not feel okay, and my husband called my gynae on which he prescribed a medicine. And I refused to take the medicine, on which, my gynae mentioned me that - he is not pleading me to take this medicine, rather he is giving ´an order´ to take the medicine as it is a must in this situation and that next morning, I must go to a nearby hospital and get fetal movement and fetal monitoring checkup. I took the medicine and went to bed. Next day, as advised, went for checkup and all was okay as well.

Before coming out the hospital, I felt something weird and gave a call to my gynae (in another city) and again got fetal movement and monitoring checked, which resulted in that I was almost 6 cm dilated. My gynae advised me to get admitted to nearby hospital which, too, had a good gynae and set up, but I was adamant to travel to city and get delivery done with my own gynae. I was not ready to leave him, but he assured me that other doctor is an expert as well, and he can take very good care of me.

It was a very decisive moment for me and baby, and I had not much time to think or react. Some strong, immediate decision was needed to be made in that moment. During those moments, there was a mixture of feelings I went through. Full of confusion, fear, uncertainty, because the ´only´ support I had for my delivery, my gynae, he, too, was not going to be with me during delivery. I was left with no other alternative but to be at a new hospital, with a new team, a new doctor, a new set up that I had no previous experience with. Those were really one of those defining moments of my life and it was not only going to affect me, but my baby as well.

With heavy heart, I decided, and mentioned my husband to take me to this new hospital which my gynae had advised. My husband got surprised, and his face turned red. His face and hands started to sweat after hearing my decision. I remember he mentioned me – he can drive and take me to another city to the same gynae (my gynae), but as mentioned by my own gynae – It was extremely risky and not recommended at all. I remember mentioning my husband – ´You only need to pay the bills. Rest I will take care of (delivery process). Don´t worry about it. All will be fine. Just take me to this new hospital´.

In that hospital, I was proposed to go through caesarean to not go through the pain of delivery. I remember very well doctor´s words were – ´I have seen ladies crying and begging me for injection to go through caesarean and it is very normal for ladies. So, I advise you to take this route of caesarean as well because once the procedure of normal delivery starts, caesarean won´t be possible, even if you beg me´.

It shocked me to see how the doctor whom I was trusting for this delivery and my baby was practically being cold hearted with me. But I was determined to go through same experience and pain that my mother and her mother and her mother and every woman who went through delivery had gone through as I always believed that a woman´s body is made to and structured to go through this pain and above all, I wanted to experience what my mom experienced while giving me birth. So, I refused to go through caesarean and went through normal delivery.

After admission, those were 3 painful hours where I was accompanied by new team, new doctor, and my husband. I had arrived at a point where I mentioned myself – It seems as if I am left with no energy to push anymore. My husband´s words full of inspiration, lit the desire to continue. And after extremely difficult struggle, finally, she came out and whole room got full of her voice and joy.

Now, think of any time in your life where despite whatever was visible to you or was in front of you or whatever was being told to you or whatever people tried to make you feel, or whatever situation you were put into; you simply refused to accept what was there. I mean the external circumstances did not impact you, as your inner being was stable and was ready to go beyond everything and manifest what it so deeply desired. And answer yourself -

What decision did you take at that time?

What action did you take at that time?

Did you have anyone to lean upon during that time?

How did you go through that experience?

What internal qualities did you tap into during that time?

Thinking about it today, how does it make you feel?

After reflecting upon that experience, tap your shoulder and tell yourself – Congratulations! As you survived that difficult phase in your life, similarly, you will survive whatever is buzzing you, if you keep acting with love, faith, and determination and if needed, seek the necessary guidance or support, but keep going on!

Feel grateful for your life. May victory be on your side!

Remember the difference lies in ´your spirit´; the way you see and approach the challenge, marks a big difference!

Another thing (if you are an entrepreneur) - The difference is not in your product or service that you provide, the difference is in you!! You are the real deal. You are the real difference maker!!

So, if you are stuck at some point in your life, are not being able to overcome your challenge and create the desired change in outer world, then you must check inside you.

What´s happening inside your ´inner´ world that does not let you advance towards your goal?

Remember – It is our inner being that makes the difference!!!

If you believe this article can be of help to anyone, feel free to share it, specially to whom you want to reflect upon his life and inspire.

And I am all ears to your opinions and experiences as well!

#sheiljaarora #Ichoose2grow  #leadership #people #choice #decision  #leadershipdevelopment  #management #decisionmaking #uniquelyyou #leader #personalexperience #help