Discovering Your Values

Essentially, our role as a coach is to support our clients to experience personal and/or professional fulfilment. 

One of the ways we can do this is by assisting our clients to identify and lead their own authentic values-based lives.

Why is a values-led life important?

Our personal values influence every decision we make. They are the invisible driving forces that guide our actions and create our experiences. 

Considering how much our values impact our day-to-day lives, it’s so important to become consciously aware of our highest and most influential values to ensure we create the outcomes we truly want for ourselves. Values are often unconscious, which are also unique to each one of us, shaped by what we’ve learned from our caretakers, our culture, our schooling, information sources and life experiences.

If we are not happy with the outcomes of our life, it will be because we are not living our authentic values which energise and inspire us when we live and breathe them.

For example, a child might have had a parent in their lives who did all the decision-making for them, which could have led to that child valuing comfort and perhaps not valuing independence at this stage of life. This means independence will be low in their hierarchy of values driving their decision-making.

Later in life, if the parent’s influence diminishes in the child’s life, they may still rely upon others to take charge of their decisions, but by doing self-reflection and personal development, the individual could discover independence is important to be able to experience self-determination and personal fulfilment, leading to possible new choices and actions to embrace the value of independence.

Uncovering and working with values can be an entire coaching programme in itself because values are supported or held in their hierarchy of importance by our beliefs. Beliefs can be moving towards what is wanted. For example, ‘I want to be independent’ and they can also be resourceful (ie good for self and others) or un-resourceful (ie not sustainably good for self and others). Or the beliefs can be moving away from what is not wanted ie they are driven by fear. For example, ‘I don’t want to be broke’.

Values can also be true for ourselves or they can be a ‘lie’. In other words, we may have adopted values that belong to or ‘fit’ somebody or something else. We are very likely to adopt our parent’s or culture’s values, which may or may not be authentic to ourselves. 

Therefore, doing the deep work to uncover our true values and aligning everything we choose to do or not do can lead to great fulfilment. This means uncovering unconscious beliefs and patterns and identifying what’s true, what to embrace, and what to let go of.

However, we can do some things to get clearer about our values: for ourselves and our clients.

Identifying Core Values:

• Reflect on Significant Life Experiences: Think about the defining moments in your personal and professional lives that have shaped you, both the positive and challenging experiences. What values were you honouring during the inspiring and energising or challenging times: what values supported you during those moments?
• What Do You Admire in Others: Consider the qualities and actions you admire in people you respect. These often mirror your own core values and what is important to you.

Uncovering Hidden Values:

• Journaling: Write about what truly matters to you and what guides your decisions, particularly the big decisions that matter in your life.
• Mindfulness: Engage in practices that help you connect with your inner self and potentially reveal deeper values – the things that you focus on most or when you focus on them, bring you alive and create emotions you want to experience. Reflect on what those emotions mean to you which can reveal hidden, unconscious values.
• Feedback: Seek insights from trusted friends, family, or colleagues about what they perceive as your core values: what they perceive drives your decision-making.
• Identify higher values: Once you have reflected deeply on possible values, identify what you believe authentically belongs to you – not what inspires someone or something else. Test those values out by imagining experiencing your dream life or a challenge and how you respond. Does your imagined life align with the values identified as possibly the most influential and important values? Do you navigate the challenges with more ease and confidence?

Integrating Values into Daily Life:

• Conscious Choices: Make daily decisions that reflect your core values. For instance, if kindness is a value, seek opportunities to assist others, all things living.
• Mindful Awareness: Stay present and aware of how your actions align with your beliefs and values and what you truly want to experience in your life: your purpose, vision and mission. Regularly check in with yourself to ensure consistency.
• Set Boundaries: Protect your values by setting boundaries that prevent compromise. This might mean saying no to opportunities that don't align with your values.

Values in the Workplace:

• Alignment with Employers: Choose organisations and roles or start your own business that resonates with your values. This alignment can lead to greater professional satisfaction and a sense of purpose.
• Culture Advocacy: Foster a workplace culture that upholds shared values. Encourage open discussions about values in team meetings and organisational initiatives to identify what is most crucial for the team to experience.
• Leading by Example: Demonstrate your values through your actions and decisions. Your integrity can inspire others to live their values too.

The Transformative Power of Living Your Values:

• Authentic Living: Experience greater satisfaction and happiness by living authentically. Aligning your actions with your beliefs brings a profound sense of peace and fulfilment.
• Meaning and Purpose: Cultivate a deeper sense of meaning and purpose in your daily activities. Knowing that you are living according to your values adds significance to your life. This can mean setting personal and professional goals and aspirations that support the fulfilment of your highest values. Non-alignment can lead to dissatisfaction and frustration.
• Genuine Connections: Build stronger, more genuine connections with others who share similar values. These relationships are often more fulfilling and supportive. This also provides the foundation for trust and respect in personal and professional relationships by consistently living your values. People are drawn to those who are true to themselves.
• Grounded in Values: Develop resilience by staying grounded in your values during challenging times. Your authentic values can serve as a steady anchor in the face of adversity and enhance your mental and emotional well-being through consistent, value-driven actions, reducing stress because you are living on purpose, and increasing inner peace.
• Career Fulfilment: Achieve greater career satisfaction by aligning your work with your values, leading to a more rewarding and meaningful career path because living into your highest, true values provides energy and inspiration. For example, if you have a goal to create a global business, high values of seeking comfort and security may not serve you in creating your dream. The dream could potentially create great unwanted stress if personal top values do not align with it.

Practical Steps to a Values-Based Life:

• Values Check-In, Reflection and Deepen Understanding: Take time to reflect on your values and how they influence your life from time to time. Regular self-assessment helps ensure you are staying true to your values, purpose and aspirations. Read, attend workshops, and seek out new experiences which align with your top values.
• Values-Rooted Goals: Set personal and professional goals that are rooted in your top values. These goals are likely to be meaningful and fulfilling if they are aligned with what is most important to you.
• Adjustments: Adjust your actions and goals as needed to maintain alignment with your values. Be flexible and open to evolving your values over time if they don’t seem as relevant or important to guide you in your decision-making
• Feedback and Growth: Seek feedback from others to gain new perspectives on how well you are living your values and use this for personal growth and improvement.

Leading a values-based life is an ongoing journey of self-discovery and growth. By understanding and living our values, we not only find personal fulfilment but also enhance our life and leadership effectiveness.

As coaches, when we do the values work for ourselves, by identifying our truest and most inspirational values - and embracing and living into them - we can support our clients to do the same.

This work can have a profound and positive impact on the way we and our clients live now, in the future and in the long term: on purpose and in love with our lives.

Be empowered.

Jeanine and Marie Empower World Co-founders

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