A Divorce Lawyer's Father's Day

Father's day! What a great day for so many. As a father, I thoroughly enjoy the reminder of my most important role in life, that of being a father, But as a divorce lawyer, I am constantly reminded of how many fathers have such a hard time on this day, and many other days. Every year I know they will come. The calls, texts, emails about how "she is not letting me see my child on Father's Day." Or "he has not written or called in 6 months and today he wants to see her, what do I do?" Of course each situation is different (and each is a reminder to me of how lucky I am), and the answers I give are unique to each situation. But somehow it always comes down to something like this: "If he is not a danger to the child, shouldn't we find a way?" Sometimes I am on the phone with opposing counsel (yes, on a Saturday or Sunday). And good lawyers, good advocates know that compromise and maintaining a parent child relationship is almost always desired. Sometimes the solution is make-up time (it may not seem fair, but isn't Father's Day an arbitrary date anyway?)

And of course there are even more issues for same sex parents. That's a topic for a whole different article, but it makes a point. Parents should have time with their children, almost in every situation. And not just time, but special time, dedicated to that relationship.

But for me, what made me type this out, is how grateful I am to be a father and to have time with my daughter and my wife. And even more, or at least as important, is that I am blessed to have a wonderful father who I know loves me and values our relationship more than anything. I need to do a better job of ensuring my daughter feels that way about me, or at least knows that about me, because it is the truth. And for all parents, separated or not, isn't it the truth? What is more important in the long run, than loving your child, and making sure they know that? And perhaps that's where we come full circle. Father's Day is on an arbitrary date. But it is an opportunity to show our love to our children (not for them to simply tell us "Happy Father's Day"). And if there's a snafu or disagreement about time with dad on this day (maybe mom made other plans thinking dad was not coming), then set another date and time, and let your child know- this is our time, to celebrate our connection, and for me to be sure you know how much I love you.

Happy Father's Day.