Do a Workplace Mental Health Check-In

It's October 10, which is otherwise known as World Mental Health Day.

My first professional jobs were in an environment that didn't support mental health. It was the prototypical "we work like a family" environment, and by "work like a family", the meaning was actually that guilt and manipulation would be used to control the workplace. A meritocracy, it was not. When I was in the middle of a major health crisis that caused me to lose over 100 pounds and which triggered a lifelong autoimmune disease, I was called into a partner's office and criticized for "not smiling enough at work." The comment was tone-deaf, offensive and hurtful. It was made in a vacuum, completely ignorant of the struggles I was working through. I mean that literally; they had no idea what I was working through. They apparently hadn't noticed the dramatic difference in my physical appearance, and despite my ailments, my productivity hadn't dropped off. (In fact, my billable hours had never been better).

In that same timeframe, a peer at an organization that I worked with committed suicide. It was unexpected and tragic.

The intersection of my own workplace-stress-induced health conditions and seeing the impact that unabated stress had on a peer lead me to leave my job and start my own company. When I was able to chart a new path with my career, I started as a sole-practitioner, where I was my own boss and employee. I entertained offers of joining up with other attorneys that I knew and trusted, and I couldn't do it. I had lost so much trust in the ability of coworkers to perform that I couldn't bring myself to join another company. So there I was: no "boss", and no employees to supervise.

Over time, I did the thing that I always do and took on more and more responsibility, eventually serving as the functional supervisor for a number of people who were in fact employees of my clients. As my career path progressed, I became an employee and a manager myself.

As I made those transitions, I reflected back on my experience, and thought about what made some of my bosses terrible, and what made others good. The biggest difference I could find was simple: those who were good...cared. They regularly checked-in with me on how I was doing. They didn't pry, they didn't get too personal...but they paid attention.

As I work with my peers, I try to notice if I'm getting late-night email or Teams pings from my team. If I have someone who seems to be working a lot of hours, I'll check in with them and see if they're doing ok, if their workload is acceptable, if there's something up. This is separate from, and in addition to, normal 1:1s and check-in meetings. I'm privileged to work with a team where much of the time, my management counseling has to be talking team members down from their own unreasonable expectations of how much they can get done or how many hours they should work.

I also try to pay attention to my peers' workload, responsiveness, workplace energy levels and mental state. And while I work to be sensitive to not judge or pry, if I see an obvious and open health issue (for example, like when I lost over 100 pounds and suddenly became very gaunt and pale), I'll check-in. In short, I try to be observant and supportive, and I watch for issues that might suggest one of my peers is overworked, overstressed, or having challenges.

A simple check-in does a world of wonders. It can be as simple as: "Hey, are you doing ok? Is your workload ok? Anything you need to talk about?"

At times, the response is that nothing is wrong--and that's great. At other times, an employee will be having an issue. If it's work-related, I'll try to support them and help solve it. If it's not work-related, then I try to be supportive and compassionate, without crossing a line into their personal lives.

Our personal lives affect our health and mental well-being...and our work lives do as well. On World Mental Health Day, be aware of that intersection. In the LinkedIn professional context, think about checking in with your team. Think about being aware of your peers and their needs. Think about doing a workplace mental health check-in, and normalizing that process (if you don't already do so).

What would be different in my life if someone at work had checked-in with me back in the day when things were going awry? I don't know. Maybe I would have been more self-aware sooner? Maybe I would have felt more supported, understood or even seen in the workplace? Maybe I would have felt more connected, and would have stayed in my role. Maybe my partners would have understood me and tried to support me, instead of criticizing me for not smiling enough. A lot of maybes--I don't know what would have happened. But I do know I'd have liked to find out.

I also know that I'm going to work hard to keep my peers far away from ever having to be in that position, and regular workplace mental health check-ins are a key part of that effort.