Does Anyone Think Being Rude Makes Them Sound Important?
A lesson in how having employees who disrespect others can damage your brand and lead to a toxic working environment.
Those of you in the UK will of course know about “The Gray Report” which has recently been released regarding misbehaviour in the heart of government in the UK during the pandemic. Without getting into the politics surrounding the report, the piece that most disappointed me was the suggestion that people working in No10 Downing Street had been disrespectful and rude to more junior members of staff including cleaners and security staff.
This got me thinking about why some people feel the need to be rude to others, and the disturbing psychology of those that perhaps get a kick out of disrespecting those whom they consider to be carrying out more menial tasks. A form of bullying; a hierarchical ego trip if you like.
A while ago a member of my team was doing a great job following up calls to people we had recently mailed about our interviewing and selection training program. He has worked for us for the best part of twenty years, mainly in a research capacity and puts in more calls in day than many people manage in a week. He is resourceful, resilient and above all very amiable and polite. It really takes something then, for him to tell me that he has today spoken to the rudest person he has spoken in a long while.
The call went something like this:
Chris: “ Hello this is Chris calling from Remtec, we recently….”
HR Manager (curt and short/shouty): “I can’t talk to you”
Chris: “Oh when might….”
HR Manager (unnecessarily angrily) “ I am putting this phone down”
Chris “Can I call you back another time perhaps…”
HR Manager (screams)“I AM PUTTING THIS PHONE DOWN”
Why does anyone need to be this rude and angry? Did she think it made her sound important? Why on earth did she answer the phone if she was so “busy”? (see my article on why I hate this word here: Too Busy or Too Stupid? )
Why not this instead?
Chris: “ Hello this is Chris calling from Remtec, we recently….”
HR Manager : Oh I am so sorry, I am with someone right now, and to be perfectly honest I saw your mailing and it isn’t for us. Sorry I must go.”
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This would have been more civil.
Maybe she was having a bad day and maybe we should give her the benefit of the doubt that she isn’t normally this aggressive and rude? No! We should not! There is no excuse for this type of behaviour. Either way I know that we as a company would not wish to do business with her company if that is the approach of one of their middle managers. One also has to ask whether she is this toxic with internal customers whom she considers lesser beings than herself!
How damaging such a person can be to a company’s image!
What this individual was not aware of is that I know a number of senior leaders in the companies that her organisation lists as customers. She does not represent the image of her company well at all, and the worst irony of all is that she is in HR. It is additionally ironic that the course we were promoting includes a section on the importance of employer brand!
Why?
Why then, do some people do it, and why do some seem to pride themselves in such behaviour? I have sometimes heard people tell me that they “do not suffer fools”, as though this is a virtue. Fundamentally, outright rudeness that involves aggression (not to be confused with simple straight talking) often indicates low self-esteem. At its most extreme it may even be a function of narcissistic personality disorder due to a lack of empathy, or it could simply be a low emotional maturity and low emotional intelligence. Either way it is unacceptable in the workplace.
Let us all be more civil and respectful of each other. This direction leads to true fulfilment, happiness, and general decency.
Have a great day!
Have you had anyone be this rude to you? Please let us know in the comments, and how you dealt with it perhaps?
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CEO Lexogen - The RNA experts 💚
2yAnother good thing with the new generations is that they will not stay in an environment full of managers behaving that way. With the current difficulty to recruit, I have the hope that the work environment will finally improve in many multinational companies (but also in small local companies) If the top management is not able to lead by exemple and get rid of these rude and toxic employees (frequently managers - I have crossed the path of too many of them in my career), the long term future of their company will be endangered… The problem is that it is also the future of their employees ☹️ Conclusion: in such environment, good employees (I mean with healthy, honest and respectful behaviors) shall run away and join appropriate companies who really, genuinely and effectively care about people (not just through the words of a code of conduct).