Does your team trust you?
Keli Frazier-Cox
Leadership Coach | Keynote Speaker | Accomplished CCO, GM, Global Head L&D | Board Co-Chair | Forbes Coaches Council
Many of the leadership qualities we often write about and admire, like communication, agility, and vision, are ineffective without a foundation of trust. Saying ‘trust me” just isn’t enough. Why should your team follow and be coached by you? What’s most difficult about this topic is that it takes many interactions, large and small, to build trust and only a moment to lose it, which makes this a critical component to being an effective leader.
When your team has trust in you as their leader, it is easier to inspire, motivate, and even push your team to stretch to new heights. Making it easier to build connections (in-person and virtually) and find meaning in their work which has been cited in several publications to contributing to our employee’s health, well-being, and retention. According to neuroscientists, trusting your leader and teammates can even spark joy (see links to references below).
Below are 10 questions to evaluate if your team can trust you. When answering these questions, respond in two areas, (a) how well are you performing in each of these areas? More importantly, (b) are you exhibiting these behaviors consistently?
Leading by example
1. Does the team know you?
2. Do you keep your promises?
3. Are you transparent about sharing your mistakes?
Before you can ask your team to trust you, have you been vulnerable and shown your authentic self? When the team knows your values, hobbies, and has insight into how you think, it is easier to build a strong bond of trust and find ways to connect with you. This doesn’t mean sharing everything, be thoughtful and honest about what’s important to you and how these qualities show up in your life.
Having integrity and holding yourself accountable to those values counts when making decisions for the team. Go beyond the broad corporate jargon and get real - set realistic expectations, sharing potential obstacles up-front, showing the team the opportunities for success even when there are limitations. When things don’t work out as planned, acknowledge the need for a new approach, and work together on problem solving.
But sometimes the obstacle is you. If you’ve made a mistake or been a bottleneck, own it quickly, communicate with transparency, and don’t forget to share the lessons learned. This will build an environment that is focused on growth and will encourage your team to experiment as well as be more willing to admit to their own mistakes.
Creating the environment for trust
4. Does the team feel (psychologically) safe with you?
5. How do you show you care about your team?
6. Do you have their backs?
7. Do you encourage them to support each other?
8. Do you recognize their efforts?
Now that you’re more comfortable showing your authentic self, is it OK for your team to be themselves as well? Psychological safety has been studied since the 1960s and defined as “being able to show and employ oneself without fear of negative consequences of self-image, status, or career".
Being intentional in your interactions and actively getting to know your team is the first step - their goals, values, priorities, and strengths. Are you asking for their feedback, getting to know your team, and allowing them safely to experiment? Imagine how engaged your staff would feel if you asked their advice or rewarded risk-taking. When implemented well, the team will feel free to be themselves, and you will support them, even during tough times. To clarify, this is not unconditional positive support. Supporting them also means giving constructive feedback and encouraging them to learn and evolve into their best selves.
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Building trust happens at an individual level, but also as a team. Recognizing and spotlighting good work provides strong positive reinforcement. Encouraging the team to have open dialogues, lean on each other’s strengths and work collaboratively also will accelerate their development of trust with one another.
Finally, working through conflict quickly and objectively is one of the fastest ways to build trust. Holding the team to the same standards and not allowing the team to undermine each other’s efforts fosters an environment where the team not only trusts you but also each other.
Digging Deeper
9. Do you trust and believe in them?
10. Do you trust yourself?
When this subject has come up in past coaching conversations, after going deeper, the root cause is that they don’t trust their team. They believe their staff is going to watch TV all day if a flexible work arrangement stays in place or if a team member fails it will have too large an impact on their personal career development. Here’s where the practices of micro-management, activities instead of outcomes focus, and distrust start to creep in.
Organizational psychologists as well as behavioral and neuroscientists continuously show that when you allow your team to be themselves, have autonomy over their work, can learn new things and have a leader that welcomes their ideas, they are much more likely to succeed, stay, and even encourage others to join the organization. Be honest with yourself – what’s holding you back from trusting your team? Without it, trust can’t be reciprocated. After answering this question, revisit the prior questions to see what small step you can take to begin building that trust with them.
Finally, self-knowledge, self-awareness, and self-love must exist before the first 9 items can be implemented. What inspired this article was that I received the advice of ‘trust yourself’ multiple times in a single week from different sources. I have everything I need, but now it’s time to be vulnerable and use the skills I’ve acquired to serve others without fear of judgement. Once embraced, this is freeing for the leader and allows the opportunity to build more genuine and lasting relationships, building enough trust that even when difficult messages are shared the team believes you, as their leader, has their best interests at heart.
Conclusion
Building trust is scary (which is appropriate for this Halloween post). It requires vulnerability, integrity, and the willingness to give tough messages. The results for your team are powerful though – increased energy, productivity, well-being and having meaning in their work to name a few. Below are additional resources if you’d like to investigate this topic further.
Once you’ve pinpointed a few of the 10 questions you’d like to explore further, please schedule time with me to discuss and develop a coaching plan for you or your teams to build a custom program.