Does Your Truth Help or Hinder You as a Leader?

I am a member of the Diverse Executive Coach Directory founded by Jenny Garrett OBE, that connects corporate organisations with qualified coaches of Black, Asian & Ethnically diverse heritage. This is a wonderful, supportive, and collaborative community of diverse executive coaches (pictured in the image above). On our quarterly catch-up Jenny shared this video about truth and story by Jeannine Pasini Beekman (a storyteller), and we discussed our thoughts and reflections about it. In the video Jeannine uses a traditional parable to demonstrate the importance of storytelling in passing along difficult truths.

This got me thinking about what truth is. Truth can be very subjective. In particular, it got me thinking about how much as leaders, do you bring your perception of what your truth is into your role which is unhelpful. How positively or negatively does that truth impact you and/or the teams you lead?

Claudia Crawley a fellow executive coach who is also part of the directory (who specialises in coaching social workers who experience challenges that are too sensitive for in-house coaching) quoted Stephen Covey’s ‘Seek first to understand then be understood.’ Claudia said listen to their truth and then share yours.

How do we even determine our truth? If we look at science, which is the study of the natural and physical worlds through observation and experiment, conclusions drawn from these observations and experiments become widely accepted truths.

But bias can seep into these accepted truths. On one hand, this can come from those who are being observed in how they respond to what is asked of them. On the other hand, from those who are conducting the research.

This is what can happen when it comes to leaders and their truth, and the truth of those that they lead. We hear it said a lot these days about the importance of speaking our truth, and how much better we are for it. But I want to challenge that notion, because our perception of truth has the potential to be biased. Invariably our truth is based on our lived experience, but the stories that shape our truth can be skewed.  

In the scientific world, processes are put in place and steps taken to minimise bias (although it can still filter through). However, when it comes to leadership, many leaders do not have any processes in place to filter out the unhelpful biases in their truth. So, whilst speaking our truth may sound like a good thing, it may not always be good to speak it if it isn’t responsible and constructive.

What is your truth about how you see yourself as a leader and how you see others? What are the stories that shape your perception of truth that you need to change?

‘Our clients tell complicated stories when they are in conflict at work, our role as the coach, is to hear their story but help them discover their own truth, the truth of those they are in conflict with and how they want to move forward.’

- Jayne Saul-Paterson

In the discussion about truth and story mentioned above, Jayne Saul-Paterson, another one of my fellow executive coaches, who specialises in conflict in the workplace said ‘Our clients tell complicated stories when they are in conflict at work, our role as the coach, is to hear their story but help them discover their own truth, the truth of those they are in conflict with and how they want to move forward.’

I like how Jayne puts this, because the stories that we tell ourselves and others are based on our perception of the truth. Or we may not even know what our own truth is. Our perception of the truth can obstruct or assist us and others, and when it is at odds with someone else’s perception of the truth, it can cause conflict.

So, my question to you is, does your truth help or hinder you as a leader?

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A difficult childhood due to family circumstances, meant that Maria Guimaraes grew up feeling different to her school friends, experiencing shyness and unable to speak up for herself and show her true value when she entered the corporate world.  Feeling invisible was her norm for many years. I speak to Maria on the Quietly Visible podcast about her experience and how she moved from trauma and invisibility to confidence and visibility. Click on the link above to listen to what she had to say.

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About Me

I am an Executive, Career and Leadership Coach specialising in introverted women who are senior leaders. I've been the featured expert in Women and Home Magazine, Good Housekeeping Magazine, the Telegraph, on BBC Radio 5 Live, named a LinkedIn Top Voice UK 4 years running, and received awards for my work developing women leaders.

Through my work I have helped 1000s of women across the globe to increase their confidence, influence and impact as leaders, and overcome imposter syndrome, increase their executive presence, improve speaking performance in meetings, get a promotion, and much more.

My vision is that ALL women achieve their full potential and become influencers of positive change in their respective fields.

If you are an introverted woman and a senior leader and want to increase your confidence, influence and impact, take my free assessment and get a report identifying areas to develop. You can take the assessment here. 

My book Quietly Visible: Leading with Influence and Impact as an Introverted Woman addresses many of the challenges that introverted women face as leaders and shows you how to overcome them. It was listed as one of the 10 best self-development books written by women to read during lockdown by BeYourOwn. You can get your copy here along with a FREE recording of my How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome workshop.