Don't 'Fake It Till You Make It'

No, No, No, No and No….

Don’t ‘Fake It Till You Make It’…..

This is some of the worst advice I have ever heard. Not only is this going to be a detriment to your mental health but it could have an even more negative effect on a wider scale… Let me explain why.

We live in a world where societal norms are now to showcase our achievements via online networks. Always achievements, never failures. Always things we want other people to see, not what we want people not to see. How many times do we scroll through our social feeds and see somebody we know who has bought a new house, a new car, is on a holiday which we couldn’t afford or even having a perfect Christmas with their wonderful family? What we don’t see, in retrospect to these, are the months and years of boredom saving for a house deposit, signing the lease/ loan agreement for the car, the credit card statement for the holiday which will take years to pay off or the arguments that preceded or followed that perfect family photo.

Now, not all of these will be true….. But I absolutely guarantee that most of these will be false representations of people’s lives. And why do we feel we need to keep up with others? Because it’s a societal norm. And we’re suckers for wanting to fit in.

By seeing others live in these artificial worlds of happiness and glory, it puts pressure on us to ‘fake it till we make it’ – portraying our lives to be something they’re not. But isn’t that sad? Isn’t it sad that we have to fake our lives and portray ourselves to be happier than we are to people who are even more miserable than us? The same people who will see our lives which are falsely portrayed, corresponding by then putting up their own fake social posts. Do you see what I mean? This is absolutely fucking bonkers and nothing more than a downward spiral of negativity.

Recently, I’ve started unfollowing and muting people on my social networks who add zero value to my life. This may sound harsh and bitchy and I don’t mean it to be, but why do I really care about some person I went to university with 10 years ago and their life when I haven’t spoken to them since graduation? Why do I need to see somebody else’s lovely house who I met once at a party back in 2015? Why should I have to feel ‘influenced’ by other people’s lives?

What is making it anyway? Who decides when you are at the point of success? What does it look like? Is it a financial figure or perhaps a particular status? I’ll tell you what it is. It’s complete and utter bullshit.

You make it when you decide you make it. Whatever you decide to do (work, life, keeping fit), just be honest with yourself. It’s all about progress. Even when you ‘make it’, you won’t have made it because there will always be something else that’s next. Just enjoy the present and stop making out to other people that you’re ‘better’ than what you really are. Because you can’t be better than you are. You are you. And that should be celebrated. And if you want to be a better person, that’s absolutely cool. But don’t fake it till you make it – you need to appreciate the here and now. Otherwise will we ever be happy?

We need to stop aiming to be something we’re not and be what we are right now. The societal norm should be to be proud of what we are achieving and not aim to better ourselves based on what we see others doing. The only person we should compete with is the person we were yesterday. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be better but be better for you. Don’t be better for some person you feel you need to impress to fit in.