Don't Get Caught in a Narcissist's Net

We all probably (unfortunately) know one. They can never be wrong, say all the right things, and always need the last word. To put it bluntly; narcissists are the worst. In fact, when I encountered my first narcissist, I wasn’t even familiar with this term. All I knew was this person made me feel terrible about myself, yet I still craved their approval. It’s a confusing and belittling cycle of toxicity. Round and round on the carousel… It looks so fun and inviting from the outside, but once you’re on you immediately want to get off. Even though you feel these feelings, it doesn’t matter because theirs always matter more. They don’t choose that, though. It’s just the way things are, right? 

Being in a relationship or constantly being around a narcissist can take a significant toll on your mental health and overall sense of identity. You’re meant to always feel inferior, yet when you say you’re feeling inferior, you’re crazy and just “making a fuss”. Narcissists love to gas-light those around them and will never admit to it, either. If you’re unfamiliar, gaslighting is loosely defined as “making someone question their own reality”. For example, someone can do or say something abusive and then deny that this certain action or situation ever happened. It makes you feel insane, when in reality you’re just being manipulated. Then you start questioning everything about yourself, and you feel more isolated than ever. The narcissistic person actually thrives off of making you feel less-than. It is so incredibly sick and twisted, but as long as they have the upper hand… they’re content. 

A narcissist also loves being the complete center of attention. When they’re not being recognized for all of their “incredible traits”, they feel victimized and cheated out of recognition. It’s simply their world and you’re just living in it! It doesn’t matter if you’ve unloaded the dishwasher for the past six weeks by yourself. It matters more that they did it once and feel the need to be constantly praised and recognized. Ignoring them even in the slightest hurts their ego more than be imagined. If you’ve dealt with a narcissistic person before, they probably made you feel like you weren’t doing enough even while running at full speed. Isn’t it funny how we always become the bad guy in these situations? 

Narcissists often base their relationships off of surface-leveled things, too. They often want you as their “trophy” or prize to be won. This is why when they hurt you, it’s “fine” because they can just wipe you right off and you’ll be good as new. I cannot emphasize this enough: if you realize that you are in a relationship with a narcissist or deal with one frequently in your life, walk away. You are personally doing yourself a huge disservice by staying in that relationship and allowing yourself to be subjected to emotional abuse. If safety becomes a threat, please seek help from the appropriate resources. Your emotions aren’t a mere game to be played with.