Don't Get Spoilt for Choices

Introduction

In September this year, we embarked on a whirlwind tour of three countries in three weeks. The trip began with my nephew's wedding on the stunning Greek island of Syros. Somewhere along the way, I wondered - had we planned the itinerary in the right order? Yet, as the journey unfolded, those concerns faded. We ended with a magical week in Japan, and I realised something important: the joy of the journey often outweighs the small details of how you get there.

This experience mirrors the choices we face in life. As we approach the Australian summer holidays and begin to plan for 2025, many of us find ourselves juggling endless decisions - about work, family, and personal goals.

In the chaos, we often make choices hastily or avoid them altogether, adding to an invisible pile of unfinished business. It’s worth pausing to ask: how can we make better, more intentional choices that lead to clarity and success?

The Paradox of Choice – Finding Clarity in a World of Options

Modern life gives us more choices than ever before. From career paths to weekend plans, the sheer number of options can be overwhelming. While having choices is a privilege, it can also lead to stress and indecision. This is what Barry Schwartz calls the "paradox of choice." Too many options can cause us to second-guess decisions or feel dissatisfied, even when we’ve made good ones.

Think about the last time you had to choose a restaurant, holiday destination, or even a Netflix series. Did you feel liberated by the options or weighed down by the effort of deciding? Research shows that when faced with too many choices, we can become paralysed or make decisions we later regret.

Adding to the challenge are the cognitive biases that shape our thinking. As Daniel Kahneman explains in Thinking, Fast and Slow, our minds have two systems: one intuitive and quick, the other deliberate and slow. When overwhelmed by decisions, we often default to the faster system, which can lead to snap judgements that aren’t well thought out.

Practical Strategies for Simplifying Choices

The key to overcoming this overload is simplicity. Greg McKeown’s Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less offers a guiding principle: focus on what truly matters. Instead of trying to do everything, prioritise what aligns with your values and long-term goals.

One practical tool is the “priority matrix.” By categorising tasks based on importance and urgency, you can focus your energy on meaningful decisions while ignoring distractions. Another tip, inspired by Chip Heath’s Decisive, is to expand your time frame. Instead of asking, “What’s the best choice for now?” ask, “What will benefit me most in the long run?”

The Weight of Unfinished Business – The Zeigarnik Effect

Have you ever felt the nagging weight of incomplete tasks? The emails left unanswered, the books half-read, or the vague resolutions that never became reality?

This mental clutter can be exhausting, even if we aren’t consciously thinking about it. Psychologists call this the Zeigarnik Effect - the tendency for unfinished tasks to linger in our minds and drain our focus.

The impact of unfinished business goes beyond small annoyances. When tasks pile up, they create a mental logjam, making it harder to concentrate on what matters. It’s easy to fall into the trap of hoping the new year will act as a reset button. But unless we address what’s unresolved, these loose ends will follow us into 2025.

Not everything unfinished is worth finishing, though. Sometimes, the best choice is to let go. Take a hard look at your mental and physical to-do lists. Are there tasks, projects, or goals that no longer serve you? If they don’t matter anymore, cross them off. This simple act of release can be incredibly freeing. As Greg McKeown reminds us in Essentialism, saying no to what’s no longer important allows us to say yes to what truly matters.

For tasks you want to complete, Getting Things Done by David Allen offers a powerful solution: get everything out of your head and into a system. By organising your to-dos into clear categories, you can free your mind for bigger-picture thinking. For the truly overwhelming projects, James Clear’s Atomic Habits recommends breaking them into micro-steps. A daunting project becomes far more manageable when tackled five or ten minutes at a time.

The holidays are the perfect time to start clearing the slate. Begin by identifying one or two small, unfinished tasks you can complete before the end of the year. Simultaneously, give yourself permission to delete or let go of anything that’s no longer relevant. Whether it’s finally decluttering a drawer or having that long-postponed conversation, finishing - or releasing - just one task can bring a surprising sense of relief.

Simplifying Life for Better Choices

In a world filled with distractions and demands, simplicity is a powerful antidote. Decluttering both physical and mental spaces can help us make clearer, better decisions. As Marie Kondo reminds us in The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, keep only what sparks joy. This applies not just to our belongings but also to our commitments, goals, and even relationships.

Mental clutter is equally disruptive. The constant noise of unfinished tasks, competing priorities, and the pressure to do it all can cloud judgment. Journaling, mindfulness, or simply pausing to breathe deeply can quiet this noise, creating space for intentional choices. Shunmyo Masuno, in The Art of Simple Living, suggests small, mindful practices to foster calm and focus, such as taking a few moments before making a decision to reflect on what truly matters.

Minimalism is central to this approach. By intentionally reducing what we own, commit to, or pursue, we make room for what’s most important. For instance, instead of overloading your summer holidays with activities, choose just a few that align with your values and truly rejuvenate you.

To ensure our choices serve us well, Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs offers a useful framework. This classic model, organising human motivation into five levels, can act as a compass:

1. Physiological: Are you prioritising rest, healthy eating, and physical activity? Choices that neglect these basics often lead to burnout.
2. Safety: Are you on solid ground financially and emotionally? Stability is the foundation for good decision-making.
3. Belonging: Are your relationships supportive and fulfilling? Quality matters more than quantity in friendships and family connections.
4. Esteem: Are your accomplishments meaningful to you? Choose goals that build confidence and self-worth.
5. Self-Actualisation: Are you pursuing passions and personal growth? Choices aligned with your higher purpose bring lasting fulfilment.

This hierarchy encourages us to build from the ground up. Before adding new goals or commitments, ask: does this meet a foundational need, or am I skipping ahead without addressing the basics? Viktor Frankl, in Man’s Search for Meaning, reminds us that purpose often lies in small, intentional acts. Whether it’s enjoying a quiet coffee, taking a mindful walk, or sharing a heartfelt conversation, these moments ground us in what truly matters.

A Simple Exercise for Reflection

This holiday season, try this brief exercise to declutter your mind and simplify your choices:

1. List Your Current Commitments: Take 10 minutes to jot down all your tasks, goals, and obligations = both big and small.
2. Categorise Them: Use the principles of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Identify which commitments fulfil foundational needs (e.g., health, stability) and which align with higher goals (e.g., personal growth).
3. Decide What to Keep: Ask yourself: Does this add value to my life? Is this truly necessary, or can I let it go? Am I saying yes to this out of obligation or alignment with my values?
4. Release What No Longer Serves You: Cross off or delegate tasks that don’t matter anymore. Give yourself permission to say no and reclaim your time.

Simplifying life is not about doing less for the sake of it. It’s about focusing on what truly brings value. A Zen-inspired approach to living invites us to find success not in endless accomplishments but in clarity, presence, and balance. As we look toward 2025, adopting this perspective can guide us toward more thoughtful, fulfilling choices.

Reframing Success and Creating an Intentional Roadmap

As the year draws to a close, many of us instinctively begin setting goals for the next chapter. But before diving into resolutions, it’s worth pausing to reflect on the choices that have shaped our year. Is success about achieving as much as possible? Or is it about making thoughtful, intentional choices that align with your values and create a sense of fulfilment?

Traditional measures of success often focus on external milestones - promotions, financial achievements, or accolades. While these are valid aspirations, they can feel hollow if they come at the expense of health, relationships, or joy.

Hugh van Cuylenburg, in The Resilience Project, highlights the importance of gratitude, empathy, and mindfulness in cultivating a fulfilling life. Success, he reminds us, is often found in the small, meaningful choices we make daily rather than grand accomplishments.

As you plan for 2025, consider reframing success as a series of aligned, purposeful choices. Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People emphasises the importance of beginning with the end in mind. Start by asking yourself: what truly matters to me? What choices will help me get there? Let these priorities guide your goals and decisions.

Crafting an Intentional Roadmap

To create a roadmap for 2025, focus on the choices you want to make:

1. Reflect on 2024: What choices worked well for you this year, and why? Which decisions brought challenges, and what can you learn from them? What choices brought the most joy or fulfilment into your life?
2. Set Your Vision: Envision where you’d like to be by the end of 2025. Focus on outcomes that reflect deliberate, value-based choices rather than arbitrary goals.
3. Break It Down: Turn your vision into actionable steps. Define specific choices that will lead to those outcomes. Use the SMART method (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) to give each step clarity and direction.
4. Prioritise and Simplify: Resist the urge to overcommit. Instead, focus on two or three areas where intentional choices will make the biggest difference. Gary Keller’s The ONE Thing reinforces this: success often comes from doing fewer things, but doing them exceptionally well.
5. Balance Choice with Well-being: Remember that every choice has a cost. Make space for rest, reflection, and flexibility as part of your plan. The most successful choices are sustainable ones.

A Holistic View of Success Through Choice

Ultimately, success is deeply personal. For some, it’s about growth and achievement. For others, it’s about balance and presence. As you reflect on the choices ahead, consider blending these elements. Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles, in Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life, remind us that true fulfilment lies at the intersection of what you love, what you’re good at, what the world needs, and what sustains you.

This holiday season offers a unique opportunity to reflect, choose, and plan with intention. By framing success as a series of thoughtful choices, you can approach 2025 with clarity, purpose, and a renewed sense of control over your path.

Conclusion: Embrace the Power of Choice

As we stand at the threshold of 2025, it’s worth remembering that success is not a matter of luck but a reflection of the choices we make. Each decision, whether big or small, holds the potential to shape our lives in meaningful and serendipitous ways.

The holiday season offers a valuable pause - a chance to step back, reflect, and reset. This is the time to ask yourself:

• Which choices brought me joy, growth, or fulfilment in 2024?
• What unfinished business can I let go of, freeing my mind for what lies ahead?
• How can I align my choices with my values and priorities in the year to come?

Choosing wisely doesn’t mean aiming for perfection. It means being deliberate about what you say yes to and giving yourself permission to say no. As Gary Keller suggests in The ONE Thing, focus on fewer things that matter more. By simplifying your life, you gain clarity and energy for what truly counts.

As we approach the new year, remember that success isn’t measured by how much you accomplish but by how aligned your actions are with your purpose. True fulfilment comes not from achieving everything but from making the right choices - choices that honour your values, nurture your relationships, and support your growth.

2025 is a blank page, ready to be written. Take this opportunity to be the author of your story. Reflect on your journey, choose with intention, and step into the new year with confidence and clarity. The best is yet to come.

All the best!

Frank Choy

22 December 2024

Recommended readings

"Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less" by Greg McKeown - A guide to eliminating distractions and focusing on what truly matters in life.

"Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones" by James Clear - Practical strategies for building intentional habits and achieving meaningful progress.

"The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results" by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan - Encourages narrowing your focus to a single priority that has the biggest impact.

"The Art of Simple Living: 100 Daily Practices from a Japanese Zen Monk for a Lifetime of Calm and Joy" by Shunmyo Masuno - Offers actionable, Zen-inspired steps for simplifying life and fostering mindfulness.

"Man’s Search for Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl - A profound exploration of how intentional choices can create purpose, even in challenging circumstances.

"The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less" by Barry Schwartz - Examines how too many options can lead to decision fatigue and dissatisfaction, with strategies for making better choices.

"Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World" by Cal Newport - Advocates for prioritising deep, focused work in a world filled with distractions.

"Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life" by Héctor García and Francesc - Explores the concept of finding purpose at the intersection of passion, skill, and contribution. Miralles

"The Resilience Project: Finding Happiness through Gratitude, Empathy, and Mindfulness" by Hugh van Cuylenburg - Highlights how intentional practices like gratitude and empathy can lead to a fulfilling life.

"The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change" by Stephen R. Covey - A timeless guide to aligning actions with values for personal and professional effectiveness.