Don’t Let Them Get To You

Losing Your Self Esteem Is Like Losing Your Health.

These are some of the worst experiences you can face at work:

• Being judged
• Being criticized
• Being disrespected
• Being humiliated
• Being ignored
• Being isolated
• Hearing that people talk about you behind your back
• Having your work go unrecognized
• Being deliberately left out of important information

When you experience these situations, a specific area of your brain—the dorsal anterior cingulate cortex, which is associated with physical pain—is activated. You might think you’ve done something wrong or that you deserve this treatment. Perhaps you feel anger, sadness, or frustration. Both reactions are normal. However, you need to let go of them as soon as possible.

The first thing you have to do is gain a clear perspective on the situation.

Your emotions can cloud your judgment, so it’s best to talk it over with someone you trust. Professional support can be very helpful. Here you have some hints to start with:

• If you’ve called twice without getting a response, they don’t value you.
• If someone isn’t contributing to teamwork, the work—and you—aren’t important to them.
• If they don’t listen when you speak, they’re not interested in what you have to say.
• If they criticize you, they don’t respect you.
• If they ignore you, they are showing disdain.

Once you realize it’s them, not you, you have two possibilities:

If you have power, call them out. Make it clear you don’t accept that kind of behavior.

If you don’t, you have to focus on self-protection. This is the time to think about yourself, reconnect with your values, and focus on what’s important to you. you can’t change others, but you can change what you do, think and feel:

1. Reflect on your core values and understand them.

2. Set your boundaries: Make it clear what you will and won’t accept.

3. Stop worrying about people who don’t care about you.

4. Distance yourself from those who only drain your energy.

5. Don’t let others decide for you.

6. Reconnect with yourself and recognize your worth. Think about your achievements and the contributions you’ve made throughout your life.

7. Explore alternatives: You’re not in a prison, even if it feels that way. Start looking for places where you’re valued and accepted.

Doing nothing is not an option.

Standing up and taking control of your life requires courage and determination and reflects growth and progress. Each of us is responsible for ourselves: when something feels wrong, we must act and not let fear paralyze us. You are the one who decides your worth and who you allow on your path.

Carmen López. Business Psychology