Don't Let It Be You

DON'T LET IT BE YOU

It was orientation day, Freshman year. I was so proud to be there and excited about my prospects of earning a University degree. As the oldest child, and since neither of my parents had finished any higher education, I'd be the first in my family. I was sitting in a plastic-backed chair, but higher quality and more prestigious version than the kinds we'd had in high school, and I was rapt with attention as the President of my University spoke.

Twenty-five years later, I don't remember anything he said except for one thing. Towards the end of his talk, he invited us to look to the person on our left and then to the person on our right and then said:

"Out of the three of you, only two will graduate from this University. One will drop out. Don't let it be you."

I shared this story recently in our Creator's Circle because we had a member who chose to leave before our year was complete.

It happens sometimes. Not everyone has the same relationship to commitment, nor does everyone value commitment in the same way.

While we have a no refund policy in Creator’s Circle and while we are that nothing will come between us and our commitment to you during our year together, at the same time, we encourage our students to discover the freedom they have to both stay in commitment and to leave at any moment.

The President of my University was simply acknowledging the fact; that only two out of three students ever graduate from that University.

In this same way, around 1 in 20 of the people who commit to a year of Creator’s Circle never finish. 

Some leave gracefully and some just disappear.

On graduation day five years later, I was one of just four students receiving a Bachelor of Science in Physics. There had been more of us at the beginning. We sat together in a row of prestigious plastic chairs on the lawn of the University quadrangle. It was a gorgeous spring day in New England. My University professor spoke and, again, I don't remember anything he said except for a quote he shared as encouragement for what we'd face out there in the real world:

"The only constant is change."

It was the first time I'd heard it, yet it felt so familiar. So close to home. Was it a foreshadowing of the work I'd be doing later in my life? Or was it what set my trajectory on this path? Maybe both. I'll never know. 

Inside each of the sentiments I remember my University President sharing, is the paradox at the heart of our commitment to you in Creator’s Circle. In fact, it is the same commitment I have to my wife. And the same commitment I have to my brothers in my men's group in Los Angeles. It is the same commitment I bring every time I put my heart on the dotted line.

Our commitment is to Champion you for the entire year. Our commitment is not a function of your commitment. It will not wax or wane in response to how you show up...or don't show up. 

For some, this is too confronting and so they never join us in the first place. 

For most, they go all-in, not just financially, but with their time, their energy, and their openness to challenge and the constancy of change.

For a few, however, they throw their hat over the wall into a powerful context of commitment, but they never actually climb over the wall and stand there where the hat they threw landed.

Without climbing over the wall and actually being committed, there is no chance for transformation. 

There is no transcendence of the false dichotomy between freedom and commitment. 

One is left between a rock and hard place, settling for circumstantial freedom that never satisfies and a level impact that does not reflect the true depth of one's power.

When I was younger, I wanted everyone to stay, because I was desperate for them to see what was possible. I wanted to save them from the false choice I was once bound by.

Now though, I am at peace with the fact, just like my University President was...

Not everyone will finish Creator's Circle.

Don't let that be you.

Loving you, JPM

PS - If you'd like to explore joining our next Creator’s Circle, please send me a DM or fill out the application on this page: http://creating.studio/creators-circle