Don't let your past create your future

Consider all of the decisions you've made in your life.

Imagine all of the possible versions of your identity and your life that might have unfolded differently as a result of having chosen differently.

Now, consider a decision you've been weighing in your mind, a change you hope to make, or something that you WANT for your life. 

Decisions and choices create a sort of liminal space, where endless possibilities can unfold.

Yet, we tend to see only one or two options for ourselves.

Maybe a few more IF we're being generous.

Why is this?

Why is our view of what's possible so narrowly constrained before we've even begun to explore what choices are available to us?

I'd argue that the main reason is because how we live in the present moment, and therefore all of our options for how to respond, are rooted in how we view the past.

Said differently, how we view the past is how we live in the present.

All of our experiences.

The people that we surround ourselves with.

A shared cultural context and norms.

Neural pathways honed over decades become our "truth" through repeated practice and confirmation bias.

DNA that carries stress and trauma from generation to generation.

Every cell of our bodies that stores emotion and energy.

Nervous systems structured to perceive friends and foes, threats and resources.

Bodies that are shaped by our lived experience, and then they shape our perception of the world.

A brain structure that operates on default for efficiency's sake.

We're carrying a lot into every decision.

We're never looking at the options and everything that is possible for us with a blank slate.

How we view the past is how we live in the present...

...and how we live in the present is what creates our future.

How, then, do we create the future that we want?

It starts with changing how we show up in the present moment.

The present moment is, after all, the only time in which we have the power to be different and to change.

And changing how we show up in the present moment requires that we perceive our past in such a way that it no longer restrains the options of what is possible for us.

Take a moment and consider:

• Who do you need to BE in the PRESENT to create the future that you desire?
• Which patterns, habits, biases, and stories from your past are narrowing and restricting your possibilities?
• Where are you holding yourself back or keeping yourself small? Where are you saying "I can't"?

For last week's Strange Magic Sundays, our ecstatic dance journey was focused on the theme of TIMELINES.

Through movement and meditation, we explored how each and every decision and choice that we make in the present shapes our future.

And, how we have the power to expand and open our hearts and minds in the moment to respond to life with more integrity, in more alignment with our values, and to make the world a more compassionate, unified place...for all of us.

A bit of backstory...

Last Saturday morning, I made the decision to drive one of my dogs, Brisco, to the emergency vet, which is 90 minutes from our home.

He had been experiencing some gastric distress for more than 24 hours (I'll spare you the details), and I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to get him into our regular vet, seeing that it was almost Sunday (the vet is closed on Sundays) and the vet has been totally booked and overwhelmed since the pandemic began.

I was worried that if I didn't get him in immediately, I wouldn't be able to get him in for several days.

So, I decided.

We arrived at 10am, they examined him and offered to run some blood tests.

I agreed and decided to wait in the waiting room for the results instead of leaving to go to a coffee shop.

Shortly after I arrived in the waiting room, an older man came in talking on his phone.

He was having the kind of conversation that you never want to have.

He was telling someone that their dog was likely not coming home again.

I couldn't NOT hear his conversation in this waiting room, and I was immediately transported back in time to almost a year ago in the same emergency room, having the same conversation with my husband about our beloved dog, Zoey.

When the man hung up the phone, I made a deliberate choice.

I could have pretended not to hear him. I could have been silent. I could have buried my nose into my book.

But I chose to engage with him and offer my support.

"I'm sorry, but I heard your conversation and I want to let you know that I get how hard this situation is and that I'm here if you'd like to talk."

For the next 5 hours, we talked.

He told me how he had once been a college football coach.

About when he lived in a $2 million dollar home.

That, until a few months ago, he and his dog had been living out of his truck in their church parking lot.

How he had had a stroke and a cancer scare at the same time, and that this dog had been by his side and he KNEW that she had saved his life, more than once.

We discussed her possible treatment plans and swapped our favorite stories about our dogs.

And, just as he was about to leave, I made another decision.

I said, "I know this is a strange offer with the pandemic and everything, but I'd be happy to give you a hug if you like."

He accepted.

Almost immediately after he left, Brisco's test results were ready and he was discharged.

As I drove home, I was overwhelmed with emotion.

I thought about my decision to go to the vet when it wasn't 100% necessary.

About my decision to sit in the waiting room for the test results.

About my decision to engage and to offer support instead of staying quiet.

I could have stayed quiet.

I could have protected my time and my energy and my heart.

I could have saved myself the waves of grief I have subsequently felt.

But I chose not to let my past define my choices in the present.

The future I created with my decisions last Saturday allowed me to show up and support another human when they needed it the most.

I hope you enjoyed this piece. If you haven't already, please consider subscribing to the Muse & Method newsletter so you never miss an article.

And, I invite you to join my weekly ecstatic dance journeys: Strange Magic Sundays.

Until then, here's my parting gift to you: an extended playlist (5+ hours of songs!) thematically tied to the concept of Timelines.