Don't Start A Podcast!

"Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should." — Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum character in Jurassic Park)

Are you thinking of starting your own podcast? Well, Let's put your plan to the test, because, while podcasting itself is easy, the business of podcasting is hard.

Let’s see if you can concretely, comprehensively, and perhaps authoritatively answer the following questions within questions within questions, in your own head, please.

OK, take your own notes but keep them to yourself. 👀

• Why?!?!?!?!?!?
• Rather, why now?
• What conversations are currently not being had that you and only you can convene?
• Will people actually want to listen to you in the first place? Are you sure? For what reason? Who are they? How do you plan to reach them? And what do you want them to do if they do listen to you, possibly more than once? What is the impact you would like to make with your podcast? Any specific calls to action?
• Who else is already talking about this? Anyone? Are you wholly unique with nary a microphone-wielding doppelganger to be heard? Why are they talking about this? Whom do they speak to? What is their track record? How did they get the word out? Do they matter? Who is more relevant, and why?
• Are you a good interviewer or conversationalist? Or do you just think you are? Have you ever done it before? Are you boring? Are you media trained? Do you have any background in radio, journalism, or editorial/op-ed media?
• Who do you compare your on-air conversational style and skills to? Why those people? What is it about their tone, personality, on-air persona, guest chemistry, sense of wit/humor, or conversation style that you find appealing and desirable? What is your perceived emulation model?

• What type of broadcast do you want to produce? What genre are you looking to produce? Narrative? Non-Narrative? Fiction? News, politics, entertainment, DIY, opinion, reviews, thought leadership, science, tech, data, politics, policy, nonprofit, humor, etc.)

Solo

(Sarah Silverman Podcast)

Co-Hosts-only

(Car Talk, No Stupid Questions)

Host/Guest 1:1

(In The Bubble, The Gist)

Multi-Host/Solo Guest

(Smartless)

Roundtable

(Pod Save America, Rewatchables)

Highly-Produced Journalism

(This American Life, Slow Burn)

• How do you plan your editorial calendar and guest sourcing? What are your criteria for booking qualified guests that meet your audience's needs? Do you even know the needs of your audience? In fact, who is your audience? Specifically? How do you plan to reach them? Grow them? Get them to start talking about you to their network?

• What's your podcast's name? Did you go through any sort of creative exercise to consider market-fit against your persona? Do you have a persona? Semantics, nomenclature, on top of color schemes, visual design, typography, logos, branding (when needed), and aesthetic workshopping can make or break your cover art on a first-impression basis.

• Do you have standards? For example, perhaps a production-value vision? Is this low-bandwidth "shout into the air with echoes, dogs barking, internet noise, inconsistent artifacting, lagging and delays with no post-production" vocals? Or highly polished, sound engineered, leveled, and edited audio?

• Do you have any sense about the tech setup? What is the best hardware? (Never read the reviews b/c equipment is specific to the host.) What is your recording setup? Your bedroom? A closet? Virtual office? Actual office? Soundproofing? Echo cancellation? Noise reduction? Do you live next door to a fire station or above and below a bowling alley?

• Do you have a budget? Because in most cases it costs money to do a podcast. And it costs a whole lot more to do it right (see "Do you have standards question above). Most turnkey platforms make it look easy, but it's often not that easy. While well-intentioned, all the fancy bells and whistles on those pretty websites can be bait for amateurs to be taken advantage of. How do you do your homework on this? Who do you turn to, so you make objective decisions about your goals? How do you know you're actually getting value?

• How do you plan to distribute your feed? Did you know there are over 20 discovery and listening platforms that have to be individually managed and require bespoke credentials and processes to utilize?? Do you have an audience-growth strategy? Do you know what that means? Do you still believe "influencer marketing" works? (Spoiler alert: It doesn't, so whatever your expectation is, throw it out the window and start from scratch.)

• [PODCAST MONEY 101] Do you expect to make money? #giggles. Here's a reality check: Few, if any, podcasters make money, let alone actual spending money, let alone "quit your day job" money. Unless you're some kind of celebrity, It doesn't work that way. So, slow down there, Tex, because if money is in your sights, then you're gonna need a biz plan.

• [PODCAST MONEY 102] Podcasts typically make money through sponsorships (usually ads), premium subscriptions (using services like Patreon), and affiliate sales (picking up commissions on sales made on Amazon and elsewhere through links tied back to your show). Of these, advertising is by far the most common approach most podcasters take to profitability. You'll be able to start selling ads once your show has a consistent audience of 5,000 or more listens per month per episode. For every 1,000 downloads, you'll be able to charge about $20 for each 30-second ad. This cost-per-thousand ad rate is the "CPM." It stands for "Cost per M." What's M, you ask? That's the roman numeral for "one thousand." So you can do the math because there may be more money in your couch cushions than you'll make in a year. (Perhaps don't quit your day job.)

For nearly all individuals, Podcasting is not a revenue model. It is a "good" time suck. It is a passion project. It is a hobby at best unless it is your only business, and commit to it for the long term. And if done wrong, it will be a complete waste of your time. Like any endeavor, Podcasting should still be considered a business venture; it takes time, willpower, perseverance, and making many mistakes along the way.

• What does success look like? Are you yelling into the clouds and hope someone hears what you have to say? Have you established a sense of what you want to accomplish by stepping into the world of Podcasting? Did you complete a self-evaluation to determine if you have the time, interest, will, desire, stamina, and patience to jump into a VERY crowded segment with over 2M current podcasts online?

Congratulations.

You've either been scared straight and decided to run for the hills OR — whether any of this means anything to you or not — you've chosen to see if you (or your business) has got what it takes to become an amateur or professional podcaster with, perhaps, a greater and more educated sense of what to expect when you have no idea what to expect.

That'll be 5¢, please.

And now, just for shits and giggles, here's me in 7th grade as Wite-Out.

I'll see myself out now.