Don't Thank Me For My Service on Veterans Day

Well, now that I have your attention, I must say that I actually meant what I wrote above - partially. I am extremely proud of my military service and the heritage I share with all my sisters and brothers who have defended our country. We are a professional military which means we freely raise our right hand to defend our nation. I am proud to say that I served; it was an honor and a privilege.

However, my military service is not the defining moment of my life. While there are numerous women and men who devote their lives to serving, most of us only serve for a few years and then we are back in the civilian workforce, or we join the countless reservists and national guardsmen who blend the lines between warfighter and civilian as a way of life.

There sits a little diner near my home I often have breakfast at, and usually when I pay the check the server asks me if I am a veteran. I respond yes, I am, and they offer me a veteran discount, but every time I turn them down and let them know that I would like to pay full price. I am not saying this is not a nice gesture, but in this case the owner of this small diner is also a veteran, and especially in the past two years when so many small businesses have been hurt I will gladly pay the extra ten percent to help a local, veteran-owned small business survive.

On the other hand, on Veterans Day I am always a little bit torn. I have many friends who do thank me for my service and I know they are truly genuine. I cannot begin to describe how this makes me feel knowing that people care about me and others who served, but I also feel there are many Americans who will thank us for our service and then the next day forget that many veterans are still struggling to fit in to civilian life.

Many veterans have been affected by suicide in one form or another. I have always stood by my stance that suicide is not the problem. Suicide is the result of so many other failures we have as a society by not truly helping our veterans, either as they transition, or as they cope with all the emotions and repercussions of serving in the military, especially those who served in direct combat. We are continuing to fail because as a nation we have turned many of our veterans into entitled victims instead of showing them all the wonderful skills they learned in the military and how they can prosper in civilian life. We must help our veterans find a purpose to wake up in the morning. Prescribing more pills and more entitlements is not the answer.

I hate the phrase “wounded warrior.” This highly politicized term is a mockery to the individual sacrifice each individual warfighter gave and completely misses the individual struggle each warfighter must endure. I always simply describe myself as an Airborne Ranger who just happened to have been wounded. I am proud of my scars and my pain, but they will never define me as a man.

As far as transitioning back into society, so many veterans are far more entrepreneurial than they ever give themselves credit for. I was never told in the military how to precisely solve a problem. I was always given an "Intent" and a "Timeline." Yes, the military taught me many tactical and leadership skills, but more importantly, the military taught me to rapidly evaluate a situation and make a decision; then follow through. I was also taught how to strategically plan for future operations while also having secondary and tertiary courses of action when obviously the original plan will fall apart. These last two sentences sound exactly like having a business plan, don’t they? These strategies learned in the military can be extremely entrepreneurial.  

So instead of thanking a veteran for their service this Veterans Day, thank them and then ask them what else are they doing with the rest of their life. Ask them about their future aspirations in civilian life and then if there is anything you can do to help them perhaps network with others who have similar visions. Thanking veterans for their service is honorable, but actually going out of your way to help mentor and support our warfighters who may be struggling quietly to find a purpose in life is a completely different story.