Don't Be a Victim

Looking back over 35 years in business, I have some memories of great experiences but also some miserable periods as well. Oddly enough, the "miserable" periods were throughout my career. My first year few years with the CPA firm were rough. I had several periods of rough times in the paper and packaging industry. I had "miserable" periods managing a departments in a facility as well as serving as a regional manager over multiple facilities. The position level didn't make me immune to rough periods.

I could easily blame some less than desirable supervisors or managers during my first few years working as a CPA for me negative view of my work experience. I could also easily blame several bosses, corporate bureaucracy, or inadequate support for many of those "miserable" periods in manufacturing. To be honest, I would have a very solid argument for basing my feelings on these factors.

However, to be honest, my response to these situations was really the issue. While I could easily be the victim and just blame others, it was my choice of a response that led to much of my negative attitude/view. My negative feelings toward work impacted every facet of my life during these periods. I found myself unusually irritable, impatient, angry, and lacking sensitivity toward others. Those items were not characteristic of me nor desirable. It was not who I wanted to be.

Unfortunately, it wasn't until the end of my career that I took control of the situation and redefined my identity. I decided to no longer allow myself to be a victim and to take full responsibility for my joy in life and in work. I share a few of these key learnings with you to help you navigate through these challenging times, find joy in your life, and positively impact those around you.

• Focus on the process not the outcome. My first few years as a CPA were a great time of learning for me, but it was a very negative based learning culture. We were constantly told what we did wrong. Rather than accept the feedback and learn, I was crushed at times by the mistakes that I was making. My expectations were too high. I would suggest embracing the learning experience, focus on the process of growing, and not get overly focused on mistakes. I love the phrase "Raise your standards not your expectations"! Allow yourself to learn and make mistakes. You can fail and not be a failure.
• It's ok to ask for help. While advancing quickly in the paper and packaging industry was great, there were times that I was in positions that I had limited experience and lacked knowledge. Rather than humbling myself and asking for help, I would struggle through various issues. My reluctance to get help was a ridiculous avoidance of looking "weak" or incapable. Don't go there. If you need help, get it. Ask for opinions, input, and guidance. You will make the final call, but don't go it alone. Get help when needed. It's ok and does not make you look weak. Your are responsible for getting to the right answer not always providing the right answer.
• Define the win for yourself. You may work for negative focused people at times. I recall getting caught up in avoidance management/leadership. I just wanted to avoid getting anyone hurt, avoid having an unplanned breakdown, or avoid having a quality issue. When your days are filled with avoiding the negative, there is no joy. I would encourage you to define your own win for yourself and your people regardless of the focus above you in your organization. Focus on positive actions that you can do rather than outcomes you want to avoid.
• Compete and support. Compete with those in your market that are competitors but support those within your organization. While I never got fully pulled into internal competition, internal politics, or internal bickering, I could have done more to promote teamwork and a positive culture. Even if the organization seems to foster internal competition, consider how you can support others and build a positive internal culture.
• Ground yourself on purpose. I was burned out at times and frustrated with various situations. Looking back, my problem was not unrealistic expectations, undesirable business strategy, or unpleasant relationships. My problem was that I lost my focus on my purpose. A clear focus on my purpose would have kept everything else in perspective. Purpose provides perspective! I encourage you to ground yourself in purpose and go there daily to maintain perspective regardless of what goes on around you.

Those are just five suggestions for you to consider. Just five thoughts that I wish I would have embraced early on to provide more joy and fulfillment in my work. I would have avoided some miserable years if I had embraced these earlier!

I hope you can find joy in work and life AND be a leader worthy of following for your people!