Don't wanna die in a Super 8 Motel: A Tale of Customer Service Failure

So I am sitting, as I have been for the last 9-1/2 hours, in the Subway at the truck stop on I-96 in Ionia, Michigan. (The pic is what I looked at during my entire adventure: you Jason Isbell fans will understand that I don’t want to die here.) Those who know me also know I have no great fondness for sub sandwiches, so what gives?

Much earlier this morning, en route from Detroit to see my dad for the afternoon in the beach town of Grand Haven where he lives, I hit a bumper in the middle of the right lane in my #Avis rental car. I could not avoid it because I was being passed at a furious speed in the left lane by a semi. Two tire blowouts was the outcome.

(I should note that driving in a Toyota Corolla on the freeway in Michigan is fraught to begin with. My little rental could hang as a dinghy off the back of most of the enormous truck and SUV type vehicles that crowd Michigan, all driving like harpies out of hell to be first to arrive at wherever it is they are going. Doing this trip at all was tempting the fates.)

Sitting roadside, car shaking as each semi and passenger behemoth race past, I called Avis roadside assistance. Very nice, very helpful. Found me a replacement car and a tow truck; tow would drop me at the airport where I would pick up the replacement. Sweet! I estimated my visit with my 82-year-old dad would be shortened, but not by much – I have to get back to Detroit for a flight to Boston.

Only Avis forgot to communicate to the towing company that I was going to do a ride-along. Tow truck was instructed to take my car with two flat tires to Grand Rapids; my replacement car is ready for pickup in Lansing. Opposite directions. My tow driver can’t take me in the wrong direction – that is not allowed. So I call Avis again: no prob, I am told, ask the driver to drop you at a nearby truck stop or gas station, we’ll send an Uber to get you and take you to Lansing.

(At this point I should note that I am wearing what is likely the most obnoxious University of Michigan pullover, full-on maize with the big blue M. And I am outside Lansing, the day before the big game where the two teams play each other.)

The tow drops me at a truck stop in Ionia, and I get a text saying that a Lyft driver has been requested. After an hour, I call Avis again. Um, is a car going to come? They issue another request. Well, as it turns out, Ionia is not a hotbed for rideshares: who knew? (I’m guessing anyone who lives in Ionia, or looked at a map.) So a few hours later they decide to send me a “reverse tow” with a car. Which is due in 4 to 6 hours.

Did I mention the Wi-Fi isn’t working here? Or that I hate Subway, and I don’t eat gluten or meat? And I am starving?

(Why I hate Subway: you see a menu that describes the California Pesto Sub, so you order one, and the first thing you are asked is “what do you want on it?” And I want what it says: pesto, avocado, turkey, mayo, whatever. I gather that this is seen as a benefit by many, but it annoys me no end. As I sit in this truck stop Subway, however, I watch many people cheerfully customizing the Ultimate Meat Lover’s sub in a way that would warm the hearts of those who comment on the NYT Cooking site starting with “made as directed with a few substitutions…”)

At this point I order the California Pesto Sub. When asked “what do you want on it?” I just say, “what it says” and point to the sign. I think I am perceived as being hostile. She is wearing a Michigan State sweatshirt.

After a long while I check the texts that are coming from Avis and get an ETA: towtruck with my replacement car is due in 100 minutes. Then my phone rings, and it’s the tow: “I’m reading these notes and it doesn’t make any sense – never seen someone tow a car away without bringing a replacement.” We chat, he is appalled. The tow is coming from Grand Rapids but they are picking up the car in Lansing. “Let’s see if we can’t just scoop you up on the way, save you some time.” He promises to call me back.

Can they just grab me on the way? No, they cannot. Why? Because it is then not a “tow,” it is a “ride,” so Avis would not pay for it. They plead their case, Avis said no. So ~90 extra minutes of my inconvenience is the right answer for Avis. They are NOT trying harder.

At this point I have completed Wordle (in 2!), gotten to Genius in Spelling Bee, made all my Words with Friends plays, managed work emails as much as possible on my iPhone, charged my iPhone, watched three 40-somethings in professional clothes leave with 2 cases of White Claws relieved that is a party I’m not going to. I am at my wits end.

I rage tweet my considerable frustration. Avis DMs me, asking for my rental agreement number, they’ll look into it. After 45 minutes (which, btw, is an eternity on Twitter) they get back to me. “We outsource towing and sometimes they are slow.”

REALLY!? You are blaming the tow company for the fact that you didn’t get it right in the first place, and you won’t let them shave 90 minutes off the debacle? It’s not like I don’t have the entire timeline on my phone with all the calls and texts.

Then – later, finally, I am looking out the window, idly remembering why I don’t eat gluten or meat, when I see the white tow truck with the white Prius on it, and my phone rings. It is Hector, who is going to see to it that I don’t die in a Super 8 Motel. The tragedy of it all, of course, is that I won’t get to see my dad at all (though he will enjoy the Zingermans treats I sent, #GoBlue).

Nine and half hours, looking at that Super 8 sign. Shouldn't be that way. Do better, people.

While you contemplate that, check this out: Jason Isbell - Super 8 - YouTube

#CustomerService #Michigan #Marketing #Automotive