Draw Open the Curtains

I was sitting with a friend and casually talking about our people experiences. She looked at me and said, “Rainbow has seven colours, but you might disapprove of it because you don’t like one particular colour. Similarly, people have a lot of qualities, but you might disapprove of them for one flaw that hits your bias, you’ve been unconsciously fostering.” Following the discussion, we realised how consciously we were addressing our unconscious biases!

I continued my research and wanted to understand the biases I’ve been carrying for so long, unaware. Reading Susan T Fisk, I tried to understand the role of social conditioning, in all this. I started contemplating further, becoming all the more self-aware about what I think and why I think the way I do. I started with exercising my mental capacities by constructing hypothetical situations and noting my responses.

Imagine a young couple getting happily married and adopting a child. What do you see? I saw a young man and woman, getting married and adopting a girl child. We don’t realise but the norms and expected scenarios we create in our minds are rather problematic. Why wasn’t I able to imagine a young gay couple, happily married and adopting a child with down syndrome? We’re conditioned to accept what is expected and dismiss anything that is unexpected. This is when I realised the importance of making conscious effort to change and redefine what we mean by ‘normal.’

Being an HR Professional, I realised how my personal unidentified biases could jeopardise somebody’s career. This streak of consciousness hit me and I became aware of my demons. I have always been attracted towards people who conduct themselves in an intellectual fashion. I realised how problematic this was, since your conduct is not the only thing that talks about your intellect and for that matter, it’s not hard to pretend. Your intellectual essence lies in your ideas, thoughts and reflections.

Being humans, we will have intrinsic biases we’re not even aware of. But the only way to fix this, is by conscious evaluation of personal behaviour. It’s important to be brutally self-aware.

Here are three golden rules

1. Identify- You must be introspective of every move, every decision, every pattern that you tend to follow. Being introspective will manifest into being self-aware. This awareness will help you identify your intrinsic biases.

2. Challenge- Once you’ve identified what your unconscious biases are, you must try to get to the root of the problem and challenge it. Imagine, imagine anything you feel is not ‘normal’ and question yourself why you think it’s not ‘normal.’ Who decides for you, what normal is, if not you, yourself?

3. Defeat- Uproot the intrinsic biases and don’t let them hamper your vision of this world. By fostering unconscious biases, we tend to limit ourselves to rigid perspectives. You’re born to live and see the world in its entirety.

So, when are we talking about your people experiences?