Eliminate the dirty yes

This article is written by Shawn Gibson P.Eng, PCC for Incito Executive & Leadership Development .

Imagine if we could harness all the lost energy by eliminating the times when people in our teams said "yes" but really thought "well maybe" or "nope, not doing that." That is a dirty yes. This is an invisible process that drags down the speed of every organization. Not only that, when this happens we lose mental energy, get frustrated with each other and erode trust – all the things opposite to what we want in great leadership. 

This is especially relevant right now as many organizations are renewing their business strategy and looking for buy-in to new priorities. Exposing the dirty yes takes some courage – what if I get disagreement? How will I convince everyone? This is a great opportunity to practice ways to eliminate the dirty yes – success of those new initiatives is at stake.  

So what does a dirty yes look like? I was recently working with an executive leadership team who was setting their strategic priorities. Nearly everyone was contributing with ideas, adding, or clarifying the ideas from others – there was positive energy and a good vibe. One person was a little quiet and as facilitators we want to hear from everyone. This person responded with the word "but" a few times and then deflected with, "I’ll do whatever you want me to." Right there we have ourselves a dirty yes.

Here are some tips to find a dirty yes:

• Start simple with an ask to your team, "Do I have your buy-in?"
• Ask everyone to list their top option or 3 highest priorities if it’s a list.
• On a scale of 1-10, "How bought in are you to this idea?"
• Have everyone summarize their own call to action.
• Ask team members who initially disagreed for their support.

Sometimes tricky situations arise in our complex, uncertain, volatile and ambiguous world that make it hard to get buy-in. The problem does not lie with the person holding the dirty yes – it’s the leader in the room who hasn’t found a way to achieve commitment.

Here are a few ways to get stronger buy-in:

• Commit to building high trust relationships amongst you and your team. Trust is the foundation for having authentic conversations that allow everyone share their perspective and feel understood. This is not for in the moment but as a long-term foundation.
• Encourage everyone to share perspectives – keeping the focus on the idea and not the person.
• Have the courage to discuss critical topics – hidden messy topics don’t often go away.
• Be decisive and clear about the decision to be made – act with speed.
• Lower the stakes by asking for a short time commitment, e.g. "Let’s try this for 3 months and review what we learn before finalizing our decision."
• Narrow the scope of the decision, e.g. "We are aligned on items 1, 2 and 3.  Do I have your buy-in for that and address the rest at a different time?"
• Stay true to your organization’s values, risk tolerance and vision.

Great leadership starts with awareness. You can begin to notice the dirty yes by practicing the tips to find them. You don’t even need to get buy-in to make progress in understanding where the team could be more effective. Think about how you might be an even more successful leader by getting stronger buy-in and commitment from your team. What would you be willing to try to get stronger buy-in? What’s at stake for you?

The original version of this article is on the Incito blog, where you'll find more insights on trending leadership topics.