Emails have Emotions! Careful while writing it...

How can you write this about me or my team?

What do you know about this particular stuff?

How can you pass judgements like this?

What business do you have to interfere in affairs not concerning you?

Have you come across such conversations with your manager, peers, people up in the hierarchy?

Emails are supposed to be strong medium of communication, if not the strongest. It allows different sort of message, orders, instructions, plans to be sent across multiple stakeholders - some for actions, mostly for FYI only.

A lot has been written on how mails should be written, what are email etiquette and what are the best practices for writing emails. Many of the people reading this article would be well aware of the standards and guidelines of "How to write an effective email". This article focuses on a different problem:

How, despite your best intentions, a particular email is not read in the way it has been written!

I am sure many of you would have faced this situation where your emails were read in an altogether different context, has become bone of contention, argument, fight, heartburn etc.

Why do such things happen and what are remedies to those - I'll try to cover that aspect here.

REASONS

Because Emails carry your designation, your perception (Current) and your outlook

Most of the times a email written to many people would not invoke similar reaction but typically few will find it arrogant while for others, it was just fine. Why?

It happens because email is not only header, body or text with HTML, images or content. It carries your professional profile along with it. The email does not remain what it is when It leaves your outbox. It becomes your persona, your face is assumed when the receiver is reading that email. Hence, your socio-professional equation with that individual becomes paramount when the email is being read. Hence your positive/negative/neutral outlook with that particular individual takes center stage, not the content.

Because Emails are read in a way, how it was wrote doesn't matter

We often assume while writing emails that the person reading it will take it in the same spirit, same perception, same mindset in which we are writing it in. In most cases where a point of view is being presented, one has to understand that the PoV is still yours, it has to be propagated, discussed, agreed upon before it becomes a unanimous decision, to be endorsed by all.

Its not always the case. The reader of the email has its own aura, situation, mindset. The email could invoke different reactions, different emotions based on the situation he/she is in. Hence I always say - Emails are not written, They are READ.

Because Emails are dead, does not have emotional connect

How often you have got a situation, where your email was not taken correctly but when you explained the matter later on, it was understood and the matter got resolved. Ever imagined why?

Because emails are dead on emotions, We typically visualize the sender's profile but read the email with our emotions. What I mean is that while reading a mail, a lot will depend on what MOOD I am in, however the same emotion gets applied to the sender as If he is in the same mood while writing that particular email.

In those situations, the person imagines sender teasing him (if he is having a bad day), or sending requesting him (if the mood is good) for something. Based on the MOOD, the reaction, response and actions changes, however remember, the sender does not have an iota of understanding all the while how exactly his/her email is being taken.

A lot of things that you have built can be destroyed over this perception related email reading phenomenon, however seemingly there is very little you can do, isnt it? Because you are not part of the email reading process, and you cannot ideally imagine how a particular email is being read, there is very little you can do, unless that happens.

Its like how can police catch a thief before the theft has actually happened. Offcourse you can set up alarms, monitoring, you can install cameras, however you would still not know when, who, and how the theft would happen, hence this problem is imaginary before it actually happens.

fact of the matter is - It happens, it happens more often than not, and it happens with almost every individual. The perceptions are made/broke based on these, counter actions, reactions are done, positions are taken without the sender realizing what has hit them, and the most important question - WHY!! coz They never meant it in the first place.

How to Avoid these situations

There are no standard rules, guidelines, policies to avoid it as it will happen when you least expect it, would not mean it, would have given a contrarian view to a particular situation/project/plan etc or elswhere too.. So What you should do to best avoid it from happening?

Confused!! Ha ha ha...Here are few tips:

• Try minimizing lengthy emails, be as crisp, short and specific
• Don't pass on judgement where it is not your domain or clear scope of expertise
• Come up with solutions rather than becoming a problem describer. Even if you do not have a solution, try avoiding criticizing others as you do not know what transpired behind a particular decision (unless it absolutely impacts you).
• Ask for suggestions if you are clueless.
• Avoid usage of "?" and "!" as these special characters are fancied for extreme emotions, specially when you are writing to people who are higher in hierarchy
• Words like "explain" "clarify" are harsh tone words, use "suggest" "recommend" "help" "assist" which sounds like collaboration
• Talk before sending a crucial, confidential, critical email and try sounding off about the context before documenting it so that the sender list is aware of what is going to come next.
• Designations and hierarchy, no matter how humble they look and how open the culture of the org is, always demand respect, indirectly and discreetly, so ensure there is enough care positioned while putting your thoughts across.
• Last but not the least,Try maintaining a better outlook for yourself (Ha ha ha)

All these are not the complete list of things that can be your bible to get out of difficult situation, however these will eliminate some of the most popular use cases where people fall for perception related email reading.

Happy Emailing Folks!!