Embracing Boundaries: My Journey to Self-Commitment

In the last post, I talked about identifying your "I want...", "I need...", and "I desire..." as you work towards creating your dream life. Today, I want to share something important: even after creating a life that’s more desirable and pleasant than the one you are currently living, there will still be moments of discontent and pressure. However, as we continue building our community, we will learn how to maneuver through those types of moments quicker. Even as you transition from where you are now to where you would like to be, I want to remind you to enjoy the journey of awareness and change.

As we learn and express our "I want...", "I need...", and "I desire...", we also have to learn to create, implement, and maintain boundaries. To me, boundaries are limits and rules we set for ourselves to maintain our commitment to ourselves, beliefs, morals, values, and principles.

When we have boundaries, we also need to strategize how we will express and deal with ourselves when we find ourselves in opposition to our commitments. I want to be very clear that boundaries are set and respected by the individual who created them, not others. I hear so many people talking about how others disrespect their boundaries. Boundaries are like a rope you use to tie yourself to something. You are the person who is in control of what you tie yourself or "bound" yourself to. To be bound, or under obligation to something or someone morally, legally, or contractually, has nothing to do with others; it’s a personal choice.

So again, you must create your response to resistance or conflict that arises within you in terms of your personal promises. Are you able to maintain your obligations to yourself?

This is where autonomy is fostered. Understanding yourself in relation to what you say, do, and to others. Creating boundaries is a way to encourage your ability to self-govern (govern yourself).

How firm are you with your boundaries? How do you regulate your expectations of yourself when you find your boundaries being overstepped? Do you provide yourself grace when you feel you’ve fallen short in keeping your promises to yourself? Are you communicating your wants, needs, and desires with those around you? Sit with these questions, take one a day, and journal about them. Get to know yourself a little more.

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