Emotions are Valid – Enquiry Them

Why do we hype up positive emotions? Instead let’s do a deep dive into negative emotions and states of anger, shame, guilt, grief, sadness, stuckness, fear, freeze, overwhelm, frustration, fatigue and you can add as you sense is your present/current emotion as you read this article. 

The other side of joy and happiness and pride and optimism are sorrow, fear, shame, grief and guilt.  They are as essential in our journey if not more important than just positive emotions.  It is these negative emotions that don’t let us be, that kickstart our enquiry into what is ‘wrong’ that finally lead us to not being satisfied with the ‘persona’ that we have created and have grown accustomed to.  It is only when we feel the restless of frustration and discontent within ourselves of our current states, that we can be spurred to truly understanding ourselves and knowing our mission here in this life we have been graced to live as a human being.

All of self-work is an enquiry.  “Asking” is an essential tool to self-care and self-love.  Hence, talking with the negative emotion that has shown up for you – “Why are you here? What do you mean when you recur? What is being born through me as a result of this unrest?  Where does my wounding lie and What is it trying to push me and to connect with what?” When you ask your present negative state these questions gently and compassionately and wait for the responses – you begin the “processing-work” of those emotions.  Otherwise – they stay somewhere in a raw and radioactive form all the time and when they sufficiently gather momentum and space within you, they manifest as outbursts, disease and unresolved trauma. You are then in a state of shock and under arrest by these emotions.

It is like going to see a horror film with one jump scare after another, shaking in your boots from fear and calling emergency services in the cinema you went to enjoy with your caramel popcorn.  You need to look at the film on the screen and have the awareness that it can have a jump scare any moment and decide your response in advance. Fear is part of the journey.  You will still enjoy the movie and the popcorn!

Sometimes it is very difficult to enjoy the popcorn in your own life’s movie.  I get that completely. And that is where the spirit of “asking” is so necessary.  The willingness to look at the tough parts of your life and do the “processing-work” when all you want to do is crawl in a corner into a puddle of that emotion.  That is the ability and the courage that is needed.

I am willing to bet that you have already done that.  You have shown the courage and ability to face tough times and tough emotions and now with a bit of direction and intuitive awareness of what is showing up for you – you will see – that slowly – when you ask – you get the answers.  You get a grace ushered upon you – that gives you that inner calm and quells your restlessness.  Till you get to a place – where you have very few questions – and only balance and alignment with self.  A quiet space – where there was a wound, a scar a scab – that has healed – and that has shown to you – your capability to wound and to heal.  It is your facing all your emotions with gentleness and humility – that gives you the answers and takes you to your real self.  

The symptoms of your negative emotions are the symptoms of a persona/an avatar created by you to protect you from the hurt you felt as a child carried forward in adulthood.  Hence, when you peel that negative-emotion-sticker off from the symptoms and ask the questions and write down the answers and do more writing and more enquiry and encourage more negative emotions to surface and do not get scared off by them – you find yourself face-to-face with your true self – that has always been there with you – and was calling to you through the pain and hurt to connect and integrate with it. So that you do not play small. So that you love fully and live fully and embrace fully – the positive and the negative emotions of you – all valid parts of you and your journey. Calling out to you. Ask and you shall seek your true self.