Enhancing Listening Skills with Effective Communication

This newsletter aims to help HR professionals who want to contribute to Business Success and leaders who wish to manage their organizations more effectively by sharing my experiences.

Last time, I wrote about active listening. I shared my thoughts on active listening and discussed the first to third stages. You can find the details here.

This time, I would like to write about communication skills that make active listening skill more effective.

I believe that communication skills, in essence, are "the ability to make sure that I do what they want me to do and that they do what I want them to do”. These "actions" include not only physical actions but also "knowing" and "understanding." Therefore, I consider communication skills to be broad, but this time I will focus on communication skills that enhance active listening. These skills consist of three main components: "Clarification," "Confirmation," and "Proposal."

Clarification

Clarification is the process of making clear the parts of what the other person is saying that you do not fully understand. This includes everything from understanding unfamiliar words to clarifying complex or incomprehensible sentences, and even clarifying different interpretations of the same word.

You can probably imagine how clarification can help make sense of unfamiliar words or complex sentences. For example, the term "dominant strategy" may be unfamiliar to someone who is not well-versed in strategy. In such cases, it is important to ask questions to understand what the term means when it comes up in conversation.

Also, when the subject and predicate are complicated or change midway through a sentence, it can be difficult to understand what the other person is saying. In such cases, you can make those sentences easier to understand by simplifying them into “who did what” by means of questions.

But why do different interpretations arise even when the same words are used by both the speaker and the listener? I believe this is because a person’s past experiences influence their interpretations.

To help you realize this, let’s do a simple exercise. Please do it lightly without overthinking. If possible, doing it with a group of people will make it easier to grasp the point.

Here’s the first question: "Imagine some delicious food."

What kind of food did you picture?

Now, here’s the second question: "Imagine a scene. There is a house. In front of the house, there is a yard. Next to the yard, there is a car."

What kind of house, yard, and car did you picture? How were the house, yard, and car arranged?

In the first question, the adjective "delicious" is used. Since adjectives tend to be subjective, it is easy to imagine that different people will think of different things. On the other hand, the second question uses the nouns "house," "yard," and "car." Nouns are not as heavily influenced by subjectivity as adjectives, but different people will likely picture different "houses," "yards," and "cars." Even if the same person thinks about these questions at different times, they might imagine different things depending on the situation. For example, if the person had just read a memorable article about a car shortly before hearing the question, they might imagine that car. However, if the same question had been asked two days earlier, they might have imagined a different car.

As you can see, different interpretations can arise even when hearing the same words. That’s why it’s necessary to clarify to ensure that the interpretation of the same words is the same for both parties.

From a Business Success perspective, I feel that the term "engagement" is an example of this. I’ve often encountered situations where people use the word "engagement" with the interpretation of "satisfaction." The actions that increase employee "engagement" can differ from the actions that increase "satisfaction," so it’s important to align interpretations through clarification.

Confirmation

Confirmation is "making sure that you have correctly understood what the other person is saying." In terms of the active listening skills discussed last time, this is helpful for the third stage of the listening. When performing the first or second stage of the listening, the skill of Clarification is extremely useful. By utilizing Clarification while performing the first and second stages of the listening, you can understand the other person’s situation and make what they are saying clearer, allowing you to imagine the true intent behind their words. At this point, you use Confirmation to verify whether what you imagined is what the speaker truly wants to convey.

Specifically, you might use phrases like "If I have correctly understood what you’re saying" or "Please correct me if I’m wrong" as a preface, and then say something like "I think you’re trying to say X. Is that correct?" to confirm with the other person.

By confirming, you can more easily avoid misunderstandings. By confirming with the other person based on your understanding of what they want to convey, you can clarify whether your understanding is correct or not. If your understanding is correct, the other person’s response after the Confirmation will likely be, "That’s right." On the other hand, if you have misunderstood, their response might be less positive or something like, "That’s not quite it." In that case, you can ask, "It seems I didn’t understand correctly. Could you tell me where I went wrong?" to clarify the parts where your understanding differs and move toward a more accurate understanding. As a result, misunderstandings can be more easily avoided.

In addition, Confirmation can help improve the relationship of trust with the other person. Through Confirmation, the other person feels that what they want to convey is being correctly understood. They feel as though their message has been received and understood. This allows them to believe, "This person understands me," which fosters trust.

Proposal

After confirming what the other person truly wants to convey and ensuring that they feel understood, you make your Proposal. At this stage, the other person feels that they have fully expressed what they wanted to say or convey. Additionally, since you have accurately understood them, they feel that their message has been received and that "this person understands me." In my experience, when people reach this state, they are often ready to listen to what others say. At this point, you make your Proposal.

Afterward, the listener continues to use Clarification and Confirmation regarding your Proposal and makes the next Proposal, gradually moving toward the goal of the conversation.

In Conclusion

In this newsletter, I discussed communication skills that make listening more effective: "Clarification," "Confirmation," and "Proposal." Thank you for reading. I hope the points discussed will be helpful in your work.

If you would like to view previous issues, please click here.

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How do you utilize the skills of "Clarification," "Confirmation," and "Proposal"?