The Epidemic of Exhaustion

Exhaustion has become an epidemic, and as a high achiever, I've felt its relentless grip. My desire is to perform at my best, to push the boundaries of my knowledge and growth, all while achieving my goals. It can be totally overwhelming for me. And as I look around,  it's clear that exhaustion is pervasive, from my clients to society at large. 

Today, I set out to explore this issue with you and offer pragmatic, simple solutions. Join me as we uncover strategies to reimagine your daily approach, enabling you to achieve your goals, enjoy a sense of high achievement, and break free from the grip of exhaustion.

But first, let me set the stage by sharing my personal journey in this realm, revealing how I've learned to approach overwhelm differently and, ultimately, am successful because of my previous mistakes.

It’s the fall of 2018 and I start my morning by listening to the chirping of birds. This is my alarm going off. A wave of relief washes over me. Nighttime is the worst time. Last night was a never-ending cycle of passing out, only to wake up an hour or two later, drenched in sweat, heart pounding, body tense, and aching as though I'd been thrown out of a moving vehicle. The intense fear in my chest gnawed at me, and even my teeth hurt from clenching my jaw during those times I did sleep. Then, the cycle repeated over and over throughout the night. It's nothing short of torture. So, when I finally drag myself out of bed this morning, that sense of relief is palpable. It marks the beginning of another day of survival, of holding my life together while keeping my business afloat. All the while, I'm trying to decipher the enigma that is my body.

I've consulted countless doctors and undergone numerous experiments and tests, yet no one can identify what's wrong with me. The uncertainty breeds a profound sense of fear, compounded by these daily and nightly torture sessions. I've learned to look at my energy reserves like chips on a roulette table. On a good day, if I were back at 100%, I'd have around 50 chips to allocate to various activities, but today, I have a mere 5. It forces me to consider how I'll ration this energy as I have three client meetings, a barrage of emails, and other extraneous tasks. My priority is showing up as my best self for my clients; some days, I have more to offer than others.

This is my daily reality, my typical day and night. I spend my days trying to soothe my aching body, though I'm clueless about what ails me. It's akin to the worst flu I've ever experienced—body aches, fluctuating temperature, nervous system revved up like I've had a ton of caffeine, and a host of other awful symptoms. Doctors remain perplexed. So, I focus on nourishing myself, drinking water, and resting, hoping for healing even though I'm in the dark about what's wrong. Meditation has become my refuge, helping to calm my overactive nervous system and making sleep somewhat possible. Sometimes, I muster the strength for short walks, even though they're painful and exhausting. The sunlight on my face is a rare comfort.

Balancing these moments of respite with intense sprints during client meetings is my daily juggling act. I feel like I'm in an extreme version of a never-ending ultra-endurance race/event – Like a screwed-up version of the Tour de France. Each day, I have to get on my bike and perform at a high level, all the while feeling like I'm wearing a weight vest, have a ball and chain around my ankle, and an evil prison guard torturing me day and night. Yeah, at this lowest moment, it's really bad!

That lowest point was several years ago now. Today, I'm almost fully recovered, thank God! I eventually found a doctor who pinpointed the issue and helped me slowly recover and heal my body. I've come a long way from those dark times, extracted valuable lessons from the experience, and become a better person. And yes, I can even say I'm grateful to have had the experience. I would never choose to go through something like that; really, who would?! But I learned so much that has helped this next phase in my life be even better than before the health crisis.

Pushing Boundaries: An Athletic Approach 

And so today, I want to share these lessons in how to push boundaries and expand your horizons of performance as a high achiever and then step back and recover to be able to do it again the next day. I've learned the importance of pushing myself to the limit—both physically and mentally—and then deliberately stepping back to rest and recover. Rest and recovery have become my allies, as has the skill of managing my energy. I've learned to gauge my limits and push them further without risking a complete crash and burn. These lessons are what I carry with me, not just for my benefit but to share with those who need them.

While my story is on the extreme end of the spectrum, there's an epidemic of exhaustion out there these days. I hear it all the time with my high-achieving clients.

Are you exhausted? You're not alone! It's a real thing these days - Wanting to perform at your best but having that feeling of things coming at us in all directions. Whether it's climate change or political issues, trying to manage the family or the career. It's endless! People are struggling to cope, let alone perform at high levels and achieve goals.

Here's the question: As a high achiever, how can you perform at your best, day in and day out, and not completely burn out? (And even enjoy it?)

Here's how I've been approaching that question with my clients and myself – approaching our work and lives through an athletic lens. Careers and life are akin to participating in the Tour de France, where we're expected to pedal relentlessly, covering 2000 miles over 21 consecutive days, punctuated by just two days of rest. We face the challenge of navigating the complexities of our world and personal lives while pushing our limits to pursue our goals.

It's essential to approach this journey with a strategy similar to athletes – engaging in consistent cycles of pushing ourselves to the limits to grow, learn,  expand our performance levels, and achieve our goals, followed by rest and recovery periods. This allows us to continuously increase our capabilities and win "the race," just as athletes do in their relentless pursuit of excellence.

The Power of Awareness

High-performing achievers have a core philosophy. "I want to embrace my edges and limits to go beyond." Like professional athletes, this requires being aware of your limits, pushing them, and stepping back while purposely recovering so you can do it again tomorrow. 

So, let's begin with the foundational or critical piece to all of this: Awareness.

What you're aware of, you can control. What you're unaware of controls you. 

Macro Awareness

Start your day by assessing how you feel - your energy levels and your ambitions. What edges do you want to embrace, and how does it align with your energy? Are you saying "yes" to too many things? Being cognizant that time and energy are finite. Is your ambition exceeding your capacity? Endurance is great, but what you need is consistency and sustainability. You need intensity only in spurts, not continuously.

How would I feel tomorrow if I do X today? Look at having a certain amount of chips to play with each day. Where do I place them, and where do I spend them today that are aligned with my values? How you allocate your time is either purposeful or not.

Micro Awareness

Check your energy levels in challenging moments like a demanding meeting or presentation. Can you embrace the discomfort of this challenge with curiosity and empathy, or do you need to step back?

Purposeful Awareness

The key is intentional awareness, shifting from reactive to active. Most of us react to life's demands, unconsciously pushing ourselves until stress and overwhelm take over. Awareness empowers you to notice when you're stressed, overwhelmed, or need a break.

Balancing Act

Balance your physical and mental states. Recognize how much energy you have and whether you're in a state of curiosity or frustration. Choose to act purposefully rather than reactively, enhancing outcomes.

Achieving Your Edge

High performers master this balancing act, knowing their limits and how long they can push without burning out. Awareness is their secret weapon, allowing them to choose their actions consciously. At life's roulette table, they place their chips wisely, enhancing their performance and avoiding burnout.

In essence, awareness is the bridge from reactivity to purposeful action, enabling you to make conscious choices and achieve better outcomes. So, as you navigate life's challenges, remember to allocate your "chips" mindfully and use awareness as your guiding compass.

Falling in Love with Discomfort

The highest-performing individuals, the true high achievers, possess a remarkable ability and an unwavering drive to confront uncomfortable situations, especially those pushing their limits. Instead of shying away, they see these challenges as golden opportunities for growth and learning. They have learned to embrace discomfort.

The Crucial Lesson of Embracing Discomfort

During my battle with illness, I learned the immense value of falling in love with discomfort. Every day and every night, I faced a choice. I could wish for a different reality, yearn for the illness to disappear, and hope that the pain would just vanish. Or, I could lean in and challenge myself to find ways to evolve through this excruciating experience. While I couldn't do this every moment, I gradually became better at it. I even discovered the power to smile in the face of discomfort, seeing it as an opportunity to grow.

I couldn't control my physical condition or what my body was going through, but I had the power to decide how I perceived it. Wishing for it to end and desiring a different reality only exacerbated my suffering. I had another choice—to step back and observe, to embrace and explore what was happening within my body, and to analyze my reactions with curiosity and a learning mindset. How could this make me mentally stronger? What lessons might it hold for me? Perhaps I could apply these insights to my daily interactions with clients, my business, and my life. I had a choice: to back away and seek distractions, or to lean in and seize it as an opportunity for growth and learning.

Our perspective shapes our experience of any situation. Changing how we view an experience can transform the type of stress we endure. Stress, in moderation, is essential for growth, both physically and mentally. Small doses of distress are manageable, but when stress becomes chronic, it can lead to numerous adverse outcomes.

Let's face it, being a manager or leader can be stressful. And here's the thing: how you choose (and yes, it's a choice) to view the stressful situation determines everything.

The Power of Eustress (Being Nervouscited?)

By embracing discomfort, becoming curious, and asking better questions instead of avoiding stress, we can create a type of stress called eustress. Unlike distress, eustress is a positive form of stress that helps us feel excited and motivated while pushing us out of our comfort zones.

By choosing to lean into stress to learn and grow, we can create this healthy type of stress (eustress) that enhances our performance and helps us stay focused. On the other hand, distress triggers a fight or flight response in the body, leading to anxiety and decreased ability to perform at our best.

Returning to the concept that our careers and lives are similar to the Tour De France, athletes know that certain kinds of pain can be truly pleasurable.  For instance, the discomfort of a steep climb on a bike would be excruciating if it were a terminal illness symptom. Still, most people find it enjoyable because it's associated with health and fitness. How we think about experience can completely determine how we feel about it and, ultimately, how we experience it.

Embracing the Suck to change how you experience it.

To borrow a powerful term from the US military branches – EMBRACE THE SUCK. Lean in instead of leaning away. Lean into that "climb" in front of you with a sense of curiosity and learning. The worst moments can be incredible vehicles of learning and growth…If you choose. Or they can be incredibly stressful and derailing…if you choose.

Embracing the Suck for Adaptability and Resilience

Leaning into difficult moments to learn and grow is crucial to adaptability and resilience. Being a constant learner means leaning in and embracing the suck.

And here's the weird thing that I've learned by practicing the concept of "embracing the suck," the more I do it, the easier and more fun it becomes. I've started to see the challenging moments as opportunities to dive into, and it is a game that I plan to win strategically.

Remember, setbacks and missteps don't have to derail you. Embracing the suck is not just a mindset; it's a superpower that can help you turn any challenge into an opportunity for your personal growth and success. So the question is, what will you choose today? Will you lean in and increase your self-mastery and performance, or will you shy away from stress? Turning stress into a game and viewing uncomfortable situations as opportunities to learn and grow can help us optimize our performance.

The Art of Your Recovery

Now is the time to talk about stepping back and recovering. You're an athlete; your game is your work/career/leadership role. Like a professional athlete, it's critical to understand the importance of recovery. Recovery is a powerful strategic move. This is an essential mindset to embrace. Let me repeat: recovery is not a sign of weakness but a strategic move! 

Recovery is vital for maintaining high productivity, learning, and growth. By genuinely stepping away from work during your off hours, you allow your body and mind to relax and reduce the constant stress that inhibits recovery and fosters burnout.  Make sure you put it in your calendar to take time off from work where you disengage from any devices that will "ping" you to get back to work and instead, spend that time nourishing your body, mind, and spirit with wholesome activities that allow the mental and physical tension in your body to dissipate. 

The Principles of Recovery

While relaxation is what many people think of when they consider recovery, it turns out that there are actually two very different kinds of recovery activities, both of which can have benefits.

1. Relaxation: This is the familiar form of recovery. It involves taking a nap, going for a mellow walk in nature, meditating, or just relaxing with a great book, and it typically results in lower blood pressure and heart rates. However, relaxation is not the only avenue to recovery.
2. Mastery Experience: This recovery activity involves challenging and activating activities that are not immediately relaxing but can be incredibly beneficial. Examples include learning a new language, taking up a hobby that pushes you out of your comfort zone, or even mastering the art of cooking.

What's intriguing about this distinction is that many high achievers and performers find that what recharges them is doing something mentally or physically stimulating, such as playing word games, running, or engaging in a challenging hobby. It's not about doing nothing but about actively participating in a task.

The Science Behind Mastery Activities

Engaging in mastery activities may not seem immediately relaxing, but they offer unique benefits. The physical exhaustion resulting from these activities often leads to a state of relaxation. It's the satisfying feeling of joyfully exhausting yourself that you might experience after completing a crossword puzzle or an art project.

Moreover, these activities provide a sense of progress and confidence, helping you detach from work-related thoughts. By focusing intensely on a specific task, your mind isn't distracted; instead, it's completely absorbed. This intense focus can provide a distinct aspect of recovery.

So, if you find yourself leaning towards activities like cooking, you may be onto something. When you're engaged in something like cooking, your mind doesn't wander to your job because you're immersed in the recipe, focused on preparing ingredients and assembling the dish. It's a mastery experience, allowing you to step outside your comfort zone and, surprisingly, find relaxation in the process.

Crafting Your Personal Recovery Protocol

As we've journeyed together through the intricacies of high performance and the pivotal role of discomfort, we arrive now at a crucial juncture: the artful science of recovery. The principal lesson thus far is one of personalized awareness. Recovery is not a one-size-fits-all remedy. It's a customized approach tailored to your unique forms of exertion and fatigue. 

The Touchstone of Awareness

Awareness is the compass by which you navigate the demanding terrain of high achievement and performance. It's about discerning the nuances of your fatigue—is your energy waning physically, or is it your mental sharpness that's dulled? This distinction is crucial. You must attune to your own signals.

Embrace the Recovery That Resonates

The best form of recovery is the one you'll do! The one that pleases you that you're eager to do. It should be fun. It should be easy – whatever that looks like for you, remember you're unique, and what might work for others might not be ideal for you. Pair this with your awareness of the type of recovery your body or mind needs. 

If the tranquility of a quiet evening feels like a refreshing break, then let yourself bask in its calm. Or, if the thought of crafting a new dish excites you, then step into the kitchen and let your culinary creativity roam free. The potency of your recovery is magnified by the joy it sparks within you. Recovery should be fun and bring a sense of joy into your life. I mean, come on, life is too short not to enjoy it, right!?  

Now, let's chart out your protocol: 

1.    Awareness Calibration: Start with daily energy and mental space inventory. Are you physically drained or mentally cluttered? Let this introspection guide your choice of recovery.

2.    The Menu of Recovery: Draft a list of recovery activities, dividing it into two categories: Relaxation and Mastery. Under each, jot down pursuits that genuinely delight you. From a rejuvenating stroll to a challenging puzzle, let your inclinations be your guide.

3.    The Joy Factor: Ponder each activity on your list and score them based on the joy they deliver. This rating is dynamic; it's a responsive part of your protocol that grows with your changing needs.

4.    Implementation: Carve out time for these recovery activities in your schedule as if they are as critical as your business meetings. This is not a luxury; it's a strategic component of your performance framework.

5.    Reflection and Adaptation: After engaging in a recovery activity, pause to reflect. Did it fulfill its purpose? How do you feel now? Be agile and ready to tweak your protocol. The effectiveness of an activity today does not guarantee the same outcome tomorrow, and that adaptability is critical.

Your recovery is your hidden arsenal, the silent partner to your active pursuit of excellence. It's an act of profound self-care and a declaration of your dedication to long-term success. By developing a recovery protocol that is both attuned to your needs and a source of pleasure, you're not just recuperating but enriching your journey to peak performance. As these practices become integrated into your daily life, recovery transforms from just another thing to get done into a cherished and revitalizing segment of your ongoing pursuit for personal and professional mastery.

Conclusion: A Personal Journey Towards Sustainable Excellence

Reflecting on the relationship between high achievement, the challenge of exhaustion, and the art of recovery, I am reminded of my own challenging experience through the realms of overwhelm and ambition. This journey, marked by personal battles and triumphs, has not just been about reaching peaks of performance but about understanding and embracing the power of recovery.

My experience with exhaustion, the relentless push for excellence, and the eventual realization that sustainable success requires a balance between effort and recovery has been both a challenge and a revelation. It's a narrative many of us share in our pursuit of professional and personal fulfillment. The key lesson that has emerged from my struggles and victories is clear: true high performance is as much about intelligently stepping back as it is about pushing forward.

Incorporating recovery into our lives is not a sign of weakness but a badge of wisdom. It's a testament to the understanding that our energies and capacities, while vast, are not limitless. The strategies of awareness, embracing discomfort, and choosing recovery activities that bring joy and rejuvenation are not just tactics but lifelines that have sustained me through the most intense periods of my career.

As you progress in your journey of high achievement, remember that the path to greatness is not a straight line of relentless effort but a cycle that includes rest, reflection, and renewal. When stepping back, we often find our greatest strength and insights.

Embrace the lessons from your own experiences with exhaustion and overwhelm. Let them guide you not just to perform at a high level but in a sustainable and fulfilling way. May your own story of achievement be one where every push toward your goals is matched with the wisdom to pause, reflect, and rejuvenate. Here's to a journey of success, marked not just by what we accomplish but by how we sustain and enrich ourselves along the way.