Ever been a guest at your own 80th birthday? Or: how to rebalance, refocus and enjoy today

Can you imagine what you may feel like and think about on your 80th birthday? Care to do a little experiment with me? But beware, this might change the ways you feel today, look at tomorrow or go about your life in general. This exercise is best done in a guided way but you can also do it by yourself - by either reading the instructions beforehand or by going step by step with the text.

Put some relaxing music on and close your eyes for a second to imagine what you might feel like on your 80th birthday. You are there now. Give yourself some time to become aware of feelings or thoughts that may pop up. Once you’ve opened your eyes again - look around the imaginary scene to find out who’s there with you. If you’re so inclined take notes of any insights. After you’ve enjoyed seeing some old friends and acquaintances again and bathed enough in the presence of those loved ones pay attention for a second to who’s not there. Who of the people that you currently spend a lot of time with or think about a lot are not present on this special day? Maybe a friend that you are currently parting ways with? Maybe people from work? Your boss even?

Now go one step further and listen a little bit to what people are talking about and in particular what they are saying about you. What sorts of comments are they making? Which character traits of yours are they mentioning? Do any special achievements of yours come up at all or even frequently? And once you’ve come to a moment of silence take note of things that they are not mentioning. Maybe your performance on a particular project? Maybe your eagerness, diligence or punctuality? Or maybe they’re not even mentioning your job at all?

Finally, one of those special people there is getting up, grabs a glass and starts to say a few words about you. Who is it? And are you surprised that it’s that particular person? Who else would you have expected to do this? Now, what’s (s)he saying about you? How are you described as a person? Which adjectives and character traits are highlighted? And again, which cornerstones, which achievements - if any - are mentioned? What’s your masterpiece, your Sistine Chapel according to them? The one thing that people seem to want to remember you by or for on this particular day.

If the laudation has come to an end for you take a few more moments or even minutes in gratitude and awe to look around and see all of those kind faces, look people into the eyes and bathe a little more in the warmth, affection and appreciation that you can feel here - for you as a person, for what you stand for, for what characterizes your life so far. And once you can’t or don’t want to take any more of that close your eyes again, enjoy the relaxing music and allow yourself to feel good about yourself, to appreciate yourself and to love yourself unconditionally for a minute or two.

If you’ve enjoyed this exercise - great. If this has sparked a few thoughts that you feel like ventilating - please leave a comment or reach out to me personally for a discussion among friends or for a personal coaching session if you so desire. And if you’d like to celebrate this experiment and the feelings a little bit more listen to the tune below or take a look at the video that is linked up here. This song inspired by my personal insights from this very exercise.