Not Everyone Wants to Be a Leader

In a world where leadership is often seen as the pinnacle of career success, an interesting trend is emerging: more and more individuals are expressing reluctance to take on leadership roles at work. Leadership is often glamorized as a role for those who can inspire and influence others, make high-stakes decisions, and guide teams to success. However, the truth is that not everyone aspires to this.

According to the findings of a recent survey from Visier, regardless of industry and location, only 38% of employees have any interest in being promoted to managers. Another study shows that nearly half of employees—especially younger workers—are increasingly disengaged from traditional leadership ambitions. 

This shift challenges the conventional view that everyone should strive for a leadership position. In fact, many workers are opting for roles that allow them to focus on their area of specialisation, achieve personal work-life balance, and avoid the stress and responsibility that come with managing others. So, what’s behind this shift?

In this article, we explore why not everyone wants to be a leader, what leadership actually means and how leadership can impact on one’s life.

What is Leadership?

What exactly is leadership – is it only leading teams or is there a personal leadership aspect in play?

According to McKinsey, “leadership is a set of mindsets and behaviours that aligns people in a collective direction, enables them to work together and accomplish shared goals, and helps them adjust to changing environments.” Ok, so far, so good. This is the generally accepted version of leadership; that it applies to leading others.

The article further explains that “leadership is not something people are born with. Good leadership is often expressed through behaviour rather than personality, and so it is a skill that can be learned.” Ok, still good.

The article by McKinsey then questions how one can be a good leader and goes on to say “Getting to know oneself is a key first step. The most effective leaders are highly conscious of their own thoughts and beliefs and show up with integrity as their fully authentic selves.” So, in effect, being a good leader of others starts with personal leadership. This is important. If you know who you are and what you care about, you can be a bit more intentional in your decision-making and a bit more effective.

So, before stepping into a leadership role, it’s essential to ask: Are you ready to lead yourself first?

Self- Leadership vs External Leadership

When answering the question of whether you need to be a better leader for yourself or for work, the key is to consider the role of leadership in both personal and professional contexts. Here are several angles to explore:  

For Yourself      

• Self-awareness: Being a better leader for yourself means improving your own self-awareness—understanding your strengths, weaknesses, and motivations.      
• Discipline and Focus: Developing habits of consistency and focus, setting personal goals, and holding yourself accountable.      
• Growth Mindset: Cultivating a mindset of continuous learning and improvement to navigate challenges.      
• Emotional Regulation: Leading yourself means managing your emotions, avoiding impulsive decisions, and staying calm under pressure.  

For Work

• Influence without Authority: Leadership at work often involves influencing others without direct control, which requires strong communication and interpersonal skills.      
• Vision and Motivation: Setting a clear direction for your team or organization, and motivating others to work toward common goals.      
• Decision-Making: Developing the ability to make tough decisions with confidence and clarity, considering both the big picture and practical details.      
• Delegation and Empowerment: Knowing when to step back and trust others to take the lead on certain tasks or projects.

Why Self-Awareness is the Foundation of Effective Leadership

The truth is that effective leadership starts within. To be an impactful leader, whether in a personal, professional, or community context, you must first have a deep understanding of yourself. Self-awareness is not just a buzzword—it’s the core of great leadership. Leaders who are self-aware can make better decisions, communicate more effectively, and adapt their behaviour to suit different situations and people.

Self-awareness enables leaders to: -

• Recognize their strengths and weaknesses: Understanding where they excel and where they need support allows them to lead more effectively and seek help when needed.
• Manage emotions: Leaders who are in tune with their emotions can respond to stress, conflict, and setbacks more calmly and thoughtfully.
• Empathize with others: Self-aware leaders are better equipped to understand the emotions and motivations of those around them, fostering trust and collaboration.
• Adapt to changing circumstances: By understanding their own triggers and limitations, self-aware leaders can remain flexible and resilient in the face of challenges. Leaders who lack self-awareness, on the other hand, often struggle to connect with their teams, make poor decisions, and create an environment that breeds burnout and disengagement. This is why self-awareness is not just helpful—it’s essential for leadership success.

Not Everyone Gets It

Recent reports about Elon Musk trying to use lawyers to strong arm Grimes, the mother of his three children, into custody and child support agreements is a case in point. Grimes has talked about not seeing one of her children for five months and the risk of bankruptcy when going up against her former partner and richest man in the world. While the details of the  dispute may be complex, it's possible that Mr Musk might need to invest in personal development to build self-awareness. After all, leadership is not only about innovating and driving business success. Sometimes, even the most successful leaders may miss the mark when it comes to handling the human side of leadership.

Start with the End

While there are no easy answers I believe its important to know what you value and your why. Coaching can certainly help you develop as a leader. Studies show that 96% of executives who undertake coaching have said that it made them more effective leaders. As a company that offers leadership and mindset coaching, I believe its useful for every professional to have a coach. But before you start with that I encourage you to ask yourself a slightly morbid question, a question you may not actually like to think about. The question is, what would you want people to say about you… at your funeral? Yes, after you have passed on. Write it down on a piece of paper. You might be surprised with what you wish they would say. This one exercise can transform your perspective as it forces you to consider whether you are on track to achieve your desired eulogy. Working backwards from this eulogy is a great way to shape your life. Believe me, when I say it has driven me since the day I wrote it down. 

The question is, what would you want people to say about you… at your funeral?        

The Growing Reluctance to Lead Teams, Functions and Businesses Might Actually be an act of Leadership

Coming back to why there is an increasing reluctance to lead, many employees—especially those in younger generations—are opting out of leadership roles in favour of positions that allow for personal development without the added stress of management. The rise of remote work, greater emphasis on work-life balance, and changing workplace cultures have all contributed to this shift. While leadership is often seen as an aspirational goal, for some, the responsibility, the constant decision-making, and the pressure of managing others can feel overwhelming. In many cases, people may find more fulfilment in roles where they can contribute without the burden of leadership. As much as leadership is about influencing others, it is equally about knowing when and how to step back and acknowledge your own needs, limitations, and goals.

For this cohort, the trade-off in extra hours without much more compensation isn’t worth all the extra time, aggravation and stress commensurate with overseeing workers.        

Gen Z and Millennials particularly view leadership differently and many choose not to step into leadership roles. Gen-Zs and Millennials tend to prioritize a healthy work-life balance compared to older generations. For this cohort, the trade-off in extra hours without much more compensation isn’t worth all the extra time, aggravation and stress commensurate with overseeing workers. In some ways these workers are exercising leadership, but on a personal level because they seem to have clarity on what they value and prioritise.

Anu D’Souza runs Bricoleur Consulting, a leadership coaching and recruitment company focused on the digital and technology industries. A thought leader on innovation, transformation and leadership, Anu has spent many years with companies like Unilever, Ogilvy and BBDO and has lived and worked in multiple cultures and geographies.

Having served on multiple Boards Anu is currently the Marketing Advisor to the Board of womenoffatorda.in, an e- commerce start-up supporting village women in Goa, India and volunteers with the Council of Single Mothers and their Children in Australia. She regularly writes about employee motivations, and on leadership for tomorrow. Anu is also the author of ALIGNED Why CEOs need Company Brand Alignment in the Age of a Questioning Workforce. You can reach her on anu@bricoleurconsulting.com.