The Exceptional, Acceptable and Unacceptable in Leadership

I recently had the pleasure of hosting Mark Bennett, a renowned performance coach, on my podcast. Mark specializes in helping individuals reach their peak potential, whether in sports, business, or the military. He applies the same core principles across these diverse fields.

One aspect of our conversation that truly resonated with me was the UAE acronym he shared. As I reflect on my own work in developing leaders through coaching, I find this acronym particularly insightful regarding expectations and standards. Great leaders consistently hold themselves and others to high standards, doing so in empowering ways.

The UAE acronym stands for:

• What does exceptional look like for you in your work?
• What does acceptable look like for you in your work?
• What does unacceptable look like for you in your work?

These three questions are crucial for defining the standards necessary to achieve great work. It's essential to recognize that "great" doesn’t always mean "exceptional." As Mark emphasizes,

“Performance is a behavior, not an outcome.”

The best performers understand this principle and actively cultivate specific behaviors to enhance their skills. Rarely does anyone wake up intending to deliver subpar work; most leaders genuinely aspire to excel. However, many inadvertently create barriers to their success by neglecting the internal work needed to better understand themselves. Some may think this reflective effort is too time-consuming or that true leadership is merely about pushing through challenges. In reality, the journey of self-awareness is not just an investment in oneself; it’s a crucial step toward empowering both ourselves and others to reach our fullest potential.

In holding ourselves and others accountable to the highest standards, genuine support is essential. As leaders, we must learn to lean on others for support while also providing the necessary encouragement for others to grow in their roles. Building and maintaining trust is critical. As leadership expert Patrick Lencioni wisely states:

"Trust is the foundation of all healthy relationships. When there is no trust, there is no real communication.”

Great leaders invest in others, helping them discover authentic meaning and purpose in their work. They recognize the importance of making people feel valued and prioritized, fostering relationships within the workplace. They also hold themselves and others accountable for their words and actions, modeling accountability and actively seeking feedback for improvement.

Returning to the UAE acronym, we must recognize that we won’t always perform at our best. There will be challenging days when we fall short, but what truly matters is our consistency in showing up. Acceptable performance doesn’t mean lowering our standards; it reflects our commitment to improvement, even on tough days. Acceptable leadership behaviors and outcomes still achieve our goals, as we remain aware of our true standards. It’s crucial to understand the boundary between acceptable and unacceptable performance. Only you can identify if you’ve slipped into unhelpful patterns that cross into the ‘unacceptable’ zone. If you find yourself there, how can you hold yourself accountable and make the necessary changes to return to the ‘acceptable’?

So, I challenge you to think more deeply about your own leadership by answering the reflective questions in the photo below. In doing so, what comes up for you? Please remember that true leadership isn’t just about achievement; it’s about the relentless pursuit of excellence in yourself and those around you. Thanks for reading and for sharing this article with anyone who you feel will benefit from checking it out. As well, if you would like to check out my podcast with the brilliant Mark Bennett, you can find it here.