Expanding the Comfort Zone: Sitting with Pain
I’ve spent much of my life running from pain.
I ran from my family when things felt too complicated. I ran from workplaces when they demanded too much of me. I even ran from home, searching for escape in new cities, new distractions, and new beginnings.
At the first sign of discomfort, my instinct was to move—to do anything but stay. Because staying meant facing the heaviness. It meant sitting with the ache, the questions, the vulnerability. And that felt unbearable.
Running seemed safer. Easier. But the truth was, no matter how far I ran, the pain always caught up. It found me in quiet moments, in sleepless nights, in the spaces I thought I had left behind.
One day, I stopped. I stopped running and stopped distracting myself. I stayed. And it was hard—so hard—but it changed everything.
What I realized is this: instead of trying to outrun the discomfort, we can expand our capacity to hold it. We can make our comfort zone larger, creating space for the pain to exist without overwhelming us.
Poem: The Seat of Pain
At the edge of discomfort, I stood trembling, afraid of what I might find.
Pain sat there, silent and steady, its eyes meeting mine.
Stay, it whispered.
Stay, and I will show you how to hold the unbearable.
How to expand the space you thought would break you.
And so, I stayed.
And in that stay, I grew.
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Reflection: Sitting with Pain
Pain isn’t something to fear—it’s something to feel.
For years, I was terrified of it. I thought running would make it go away. But running only made the pain stronger, like a shadow that grew larger the more I tried to escape.
When I finally stopped and sat with my pain, I learned something unexpected: pain isn’t the enemy. It’s a teacher. It shows us our capacity to endure, to grow, to heal. It teaches us how to hold the discomfort without letting it define us.
Sitting in pain doesn’t mean wallowing or staying stuck. It means expanding your comfort zone—making space within yourself to hold the discomfort alongside everything else. When you do this, pain loses its power over you.
It doesn’t disappear, but you grow bigger than it.
For me, staying was the first step toward true healing. It was terrifying, yes, but also transformative. The more I stayed, the more I realized I could handle it. I didn’t need to run anymore.
Path Forward: Will You Stay?
Ask yourself:
This isn’t easy work, but it’s necessary. Sitting in pain is how we grow. It’s how we teach ourselves that discomfort isn’t the end—it’s a doorway.
And through that doorway lies resilience, strength, and healing.
Dr. Zohra (Zo/Z) Damani is a writer, researcher, healer, and a seasoned Talent Development Leader with over 15 years of experience. She is a Certified Coach and is currently undergoing Shamanic Practitioner Training in Scotland. In addition to her coaching credentials, she is a trained Yoga Teacher (Hatha & Yin). Zohra brings a unique blend of expertise and a holistic approach to talent transformation and organizational development, integrating mindfulness, spiritual practices, and personal growth into her professional practice. Her diverse skill set allows her to address the needs of individuals and organizations from multiple dimensions, fostering growth and transformation on both personal and professional levels.