Are Face-to-Face Networking Events Worth Your Time?

Your Network is Your Net Worth. ~Tim Sanders

My Network is my net worth.  So how does that work exactly?  What is my "network”?  At what point does a contact or a connection become part of my network? How do I cultivate a relationship to the “network” status?  I believe this is a matter of connection and trust.  Personally I believe it is virtually impossible to build those factors without setting eyeballs on a person, hearing their laugh, connecting with their values and sharing a story or two.  So the question becomes how do I build a network worth cultivating.  My answer is face-to-face.

I know we have social media, virtual calls and facetime but honestly I want to be able to connect you in person.  Unfortunately, I can count on one hand the number of people who actually follow up from networking events with the intent  to do business.  It’s like dating only worse.  At least in a dating situation both people have an idea of the other’s intentions and it’s okay.  But when it comes to business it seems that aggressive pursuit of business is taboo. I wish we could just get over that and have it be okay to pursue business but here we are. 

I recently asked myself the question: 

How can I get the most out of my networking opportunities without the other person feeling like they have a bullseye on their chest? 

I found the answer in that old Stephen Covey classic, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. 

Seek First to Understand and Then to Be understood. 

For me, there are three fundamental assumptions or “essential truths” that must be established to truly and genuinely seek to understand people that you meet in a networking exchange.  Consider these and respond in the comments with your thoughts. 

First of all, most people are inherently good and do care about your overall welfare.  Even if they just met you.

There is a growing body of research that suggests humans have a natural tendency towards cooperation and helping others. Research in social psychology shows a bias towards fairness and helping others, even at a cost to oneself.   In the Ultimatum Game experiment, two parties, a proposer and a responder were required to come to agreement on the distribution of a sum of money.  Both parties knew the amount.  The proposer had to make a proposal and the responder could accept or reject the proposal. If the responder rejected the offer they both received nothing.  Surprisingly, the proposers offered more than the minimum and the responders rejected offers they did not deem as fair even if it meant neither received money. 

The point is that there is more than enough evidence to give people the benefit of the doubt and not “assume” that everyone is just looking out for themselves. In fact, I would argue that society would actually be better off if everyone did just look out for themselves. In this scenario, everyone would conduct their affairs in their own best interest instead of assuming the benevolence of others will help them out in a bind.  But I digress…

Secondly, networking is a long-term play. 

If you want to just get new customers, you are better off to craft a compelling sales letter with a well-defined target audience and run paid ads. 

The likelihood that you are going to show up at a networking event and meet your ideal customer / partner and run off into the sunset to become millionaires is possible, but not likely.  A more realistic scenario is that you show up at a networking event and you meet a variety of people with different interests, life experiences, expertise and you gather pieces to a puzzle. This puzzle is a beautiful masterpiece called life.  

You get to know these people and you become friends. You share experiences and suddenly you don’t feel so alone in the world.  Then one day you come up with an idea or become part of a deal and you know just the right person for the job.  Not some random person that you heard about but a person you can vouch for with confidence because you’ve gotten to know them well enough to understand things about them that not many other people would know.  Things like integrity from the time they refused the job offering more money because it would require them to go against their principles.  Or maybe the time they turned down an amazing trip to Europe fully paid to stay with their ailing parents.  Or the time they ate most of their meal at the restaurant and then complained to high heaven to get money off the bill. You just can’t find that stuff in a resume or CV. 

Finally, Contacts require cultivation. 

How many times have you really connected with someone at a networking event and then never heard from them again.   Maybe they lost your card but you call them and chat a bit and still no communication.  It’s not that they don’t value you.  More than likely they are just busy and like most don’t really have a system or process for cultivating relationships.  Even the best CRM is not of much value if you do not have an understanding of the journey you want your leads to have as they get to know you.  

With three essential truths established, networking becomes a breeze.  It is now fun to meet a new person.  I can be curious about what makes that person unique and in our conversation seek to find those special glimmers of the personality and background that I may be able to cultivate and experience. 

For example, if you were talking with me at a networking event you may find out that I’d really love to learn how to salsa dance.  You make a mental note, maybe write “salsa” on the back of my card. You may even send me an email afterward “warning” me that you’re going to come calling the next time you go to a salsa event.  A month or two later your event is here, you pick up the phone and reach out to all of your “salsa” contacts for a great time. You did not have to go far, I had a great time and we were able to “catch up” on business topics all at the same time.  This is true networking at its finest.  The genuine connection of people enriching the lives of others by just being themselves.  Some people are more intuitive than others but we can all “learn” to take an extra step to care. We simply need to give ourselves permission to relinquish the expectation to “get business” from our networking mindset and sincerely seek to get to know people.  

YOUR NEXT MOVE? Start Here.

Once you’ve decided to make these three essential truths your own, what next?  Well, now that we’ve established “how” to network we have to step back into the business mindset and establish “where” to network and the real “why.”

Networking opportunities abound.  We can network everywhere we go.  However, there are some things that we can do as entrepreneurs to increase the likelihood of connecting with the ideal leads for our business.   Here’s how to know where to show up for networking:

• Understand your ideal customer avatar (ICA).  Go deep into understanding the lives of the people your business serves.  The more you know about them, the easier it will be to identify the ideal events and activities for connecting. 
• Know where your ideal customer hangs out.  Knowing your ICA will dictate whether you show up at the Small Business Expo or the Fun Run.  Arriving at an event filled with potential customers, eases the “stress” of finding someone who would be a great customer.  You can just relax knowing that most people are good people, networking is a long term play and just connect with people who feel good for you to be around.  
• Treat every connection as if they were meant especially for you.  This may seem a bit esoteric, but I believe that people come in and out of our lives for a reason.  Sometimes people come to teach us something.  Other times people come to encourage us and let us know we're on the right track.  Many times, people will appear in our lives to show us how far we’ve come.  If I can establish a mindset that says “why are you here,” “how can I serve you today,” with each person I meet, networking will become so much more than just a thing I do for business.  It becomes a way of giving back to the world. 

Yes, your network is your net worth but connections are not a network.  The “network” that has potential for adding value to our lives is the one that we have carefully cultivated.  This network is one that we've nourished, pruned, encouraged and valued.  This network is worth so much more than a measured currency.  This network is more precious than just a net worth.  This network is the fabric of a productive and fulfilling life. 

It is my hope that this article has helped you to have a different perspective on networking. I encourage you to become a different type of networker and watch the quality of your life and your business soar.

Cheers!

P.S. Looking for an event to test your new attitude towards networking? Join me for LinkedIn Local Detroit, every third Thursday at Brix Wine & Charcuterie, 1588 Franklin Street, Detroit, MI

Juhl T. Lenard is Founder and Principal of Get Crystalized Agency. 

Need more support?  Consider joining the private Your Next Move Entrepreneur Working Group here on LinkedIn and let's work together.  This private group was  created to provide a safe space to execute and/or experiment with the actions suggested in this newsletter.  

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