Fear Isn't the Enemy

Fear Isn't the Enemy

As part of some market research, I watched a training course on risk-taking that had me involuntarily letting out a “NOOOOOOO!”.

The presenter said to be a risk-taker you have to be fearless. What utter nonsense.

Never let the fear of striking out keep you out of the game.

- Babe Ruth

 

WE DO WANT TO TAKE RISK

First up, let’s be clear. We do want to take risk. It’s a big part of life. It’s starting a new job, changing career, having a tough conversation. It’s being the first to say, “I love you.” It’s trying something for the first time. It’s signing up for your first marathon.

When we take those risks, we open ourselves up to opportunity, we open new doors, we discover our strengths and passions. We make our world a bigger place. Risk propels us forward and helps us grow.  

But we can get held back. Fear and risk are inseparable companions.


YOU DON’T WANT TO BE FEARLESS

You don’t want to be fearless – being fearless can lead to recklessness. Take the case of the woman known as 'S.M.', who has no amygdala who cannot feel fear. She found herself in potentially lethal situations because of the lack of safeguarding the fear response brings.

Fear exists for a reason. It’s a primal survival mechanism that helps protect us. Fear is something to be respected. But it isn't something to be avoided.

 

LISTEN TO THE FEAR

For those fears you chose to face (and you definitely should be facing them!), here’s a three-step approach to shift your perspective and start chipping away at it: NAME IT – RATE IT – REDUCE IT.

  

NAME IT

What exactly are you afraid of? Is it fear of failure, rejection, or judgment? Is it saying the wrong thing, or making the wrong decision?

Perhaps you want to take the next step in your career, but you’re apprehensive. Underlying could be the fear of talking in front of big groups, which you’re going to have to do in this role.

Dig in and get specific about the root cause. When we unpack our fear, we begin to take away its power. 

Fears have their greatest power lurking in the recesses of our minds.

They thrive in the shadows, but when we shine a light on them, they lose some of their grip.

 

RATE IT

On a scale of 1 to 10, where does your fear land? One might represent mild nerves or butterflies, while 10 represents a paralysing fear that stops you in your tracks.

Be honest with yourself but don’t judge yourself. It’s ok if something feels like an 8 or 9 that other people don’t seem to have an issue with or you feel you shouldn’t struggle with.

This step is important because it gives you a starting point.

 

REDUCE IT

Consider what a lower-level version of that fear looks like. If speaking to 1000 people rates as a 10 for you, what would a 6 look like and a 4? Maybe a 4 is speaking to a small group in a familiar setting.

Start there. Once that feels comfortable, increase the challenge to a bigger audience and a longer presentation.

Personally I used teaching the Bronze Medallion at my Surf Club as one way to get more comfortable speaking in front of people and began with taking just one part of a session.

The goal is to gradually desensitise yourself and build confidence. Then what felt like a 10 becomes more doable.

This approach turns facing fear into manageable steps and empowers you to work through it rather than letting it control you.

It’s about building courage, competence and confidence. When we have more control over our fear, we can channel it.

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.

- Joseph Campbell

 

LEARN TO CHANNEL YOUR FEAR

Kai Lenny, a renowned big-wave surfer, describes fear as a superpower. On the Rich Roll podcast he talks about his relationship with fear (episode #771) and how it fuels him rather than disables him.

He allows it to consume him, he breathes through it, and then turns it into something that helps him. He channels it into the fight mentality.

He’s clear, “To get to the other side of fear, you have to pass right through it.” 

This doesn’t just apply to physical challenges. It’s true for dealing with conflict, having tough conversations, speaking up in meetings. The list goes on.  

 

THE WAY FORWARD

Fear is part of life, so make friends with it.

When it shows up, get curious. Ask where it’s coming from, and what it’s telling you. Is there a real danger, or is this a fear to be faced?

Build a relationship with fear by regularly stepping out of your comfort zone. Use fear to fuel your preparation, but don’t let it hold you back. The goal isn’t to be fearless but to take action despite the fear. 

Be bold. Be brave. But you don’t need to be fearless to take risks. 


My name is Sarah Davis and I'm a professional risk manager turned adventurer, speaker, writer and coach. I help and encourage people to embrace risk and to live boldly because I believe our lives are a reflection of the risks we are willing to take.

My book ‘Paddle the Nile: One Woman’s Search for a Life Less Ordinary’ is available on Amazon.


Alexandra Tullio

Growth and Transformation Specialist, Speaker, Corporate Strategy, Business Growth

2mo

Love this xx

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