The Feedback Fiasco: When to Give, Receive, and Avoid Unsolicited 'Advice' Like the Plague

Feedback is like a fine wine—it can enhance the experience, but only if served at the right time, in the right setting, and in the right amount. Otherwise, it’s just vinegar. Let's dive into the delicate art of feedback: when to give it, when to receive it, and why unsolicited feedback is like an overenthusiastic mime at a funeral—totally inappropriate.

When to Give Feedback: Timing is Everything

First off, giving feedback is an art form. Think of yourself as the Picasso of constructive criticism. You wouldn’t throw paint at a canvas and call it a masterpiece, so don’t hurl random thoughts at someone and call it feedback.

• Timing Tip #1: Is the Person in the Middle of a Crisis? If your colleague is visibly sweating, muttering under their breath, and pounding on their keyboard as if it owes them money, now is not the time to say, “Hey, can I give you some feedback?” The only feedback they need is a paper towel for their forehead and a bottle of water. Save your pearls of wisdom for when they’re not one email away from a meltdown.
• Timing Tip #2: The Sandwich Technique The classic sandwich technique—positive feedback, constructive criticism, positive feedback. It’s like giving someone a cookie, then smacking them with a ruler, and then offering another cookie to make it all better. It’s effective, but remember: too many cookies, and you’ll be seen as insincere. And nobody wants to be the guy known for handing out empty compliments.

When to Receive Feedback: It’s a Two-Way Street

Receiving feedback can be like getting your teeth cleaned. It’s necessary, a little uncomfortable, and sometimes you bleed a bit. But in the end, you’re better off for it.

• Receiving Tip #1: Ask for Feedback When You’re Ready If you’ve just finished a big project and you’re riding high on the wave of completion, it might be the perfect time to ask for feedback. Or it might not. Remember, you want to receive feedback with grace, not with the defensive posture of a porcupine. If you’re not in the right headspace, it’s okay to say, “I’d love to hear your thoughts—how about tomorrow when I’ve had a chance to decompress?”
• Receiving Tip #2: Don’t Take It Personally Remember that feedback is about your work, not your soul. Just because someone didn’t like the font you chose doesn’t mean they think you’re a horrible person with bad taste in typography. It just means they have bad taste in typography.

Unsolicited Feedback: The Uninvited Guest at the Party

Ah, unsolicited feedback—the gift no one asked for. It’s like receiving a fruitcake during the holidays. It’s well-intentioned, but what are you supposed to do with it? Smile and nod? Re-gift it to someone else?

• Unsolicited Tip #1: Don’t Be That Guy Before offering feedback out of the blue, ask yourself, “Is this helpful, or am I just itching to share my genius?” If it’s the latter, put your thoughts in your pocket and save them for a rainy day. Or never. That works too.
• Unsolicited Tip #2: The Friendly Deflection If you’re on the receiving end of unsolicited feedback, you have a couple of options. You could say, “Thanks, I’ll take that under advisement,” which is professional speak for, “I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.” Or, if you’re feeling feisty, you could counter with, “Wow, I didn’t ask for your feedback, but here’s some for you…” and watch them scramble. Just kidding—don’t do that. (Unless they really deserve it.)

Feedback—Handle With Care

Whether giving or receiving, feedback should be handled like a delicate piece of fine china—not tossed around like a frisbee. And remember, unsolicited feedback is like unsolicited advice from your neighbor about your lawn—it’s probably better kept to themselves.

So, next time you’re tempted to dish out some thoughts, ask yourself: Is this the right time? Is this the right place? And most importantly, did they actually ask for this? If the answer to any of these is no, maybe just smile and wave. The world could use more of that anyway.