On Feedback...

It's funny... Agile approaches to work are all about feedback. Because without feedback, we cannot reduce uncertainty. Without reducing uncertainty in terms of what we build and how we build it, we won't build better products in a better way... which is what Agile is all about.

At the same time, I see many people in the Agile space not being able to give proper feedback and - even worse - receive feedback.

They want feedback to be sugarcoated. They want people to first appreciate what they did so far and only then provide feedback. They do not want people to tell them straight that what they have created is crap.

Yet, the same people go out and say:

"Feedback is a gift"

I can tell you this... I'd rather have someone tell me my product is crap and why than someone giving me sugarcoated feedback which makes me feel good.

Feeling good won't result in my progress. Feeling good keeps me where I am today. Feeling good - worst case - keeps me building crap that nobody wants.

So in order to grow, you need to find people that are critical in a constructive way. As a leader you should want critical but constructive employees. As a Product Manager you should look for critical but constructive clients. As a an employee you should look for a critical but constructive manager.

These are the environments in which you can grow. These are the environments in which you will become better than you are today. These are the environments in which great products and services are created.

And yes, receiving tough feedback is hard... but as with anything you can build the muscle to deal with it.

So what are a few concrete things you can do?

In a conversation with Tasha Eurich I learned about a few techniques to build your muscle for receiving feedback.

My favorite technique is the so-called "Dinner of Truth", during which I ask my parents, my wife, my kids, my coach, and also a few close colleagues and friends on where I can improve from their perspectives.

These people are my "loving critics" i.e. someone who I respect and trust to provide me with honest, loving feedback about how I come across to others and how I handle certain challenges.

Giving them permission to tell me things straight makes it easy for them... they do not have to think long and hard, they can say whatever they have on their minds right now.

Ideally, they can connect the feedback with a concrete example... but even if they can't provide a concrete example I take that feedback and tell them how much I appreciate it.

Receiving feedback also does not mean that I will automatically act on it. For me, this feedback - especially coming from different people - is one piece of information which I will then consider when I want to make decisions.

For example, my son frequently tells me that I travel too often for business. Prior to the pandemic, I used to travel way more than today. But things have changed. My kids are now older and they got used to having me at home every evening for dinner.

If I take my son's feedback and put it into action immediately, I would have to stay home and not travel at all.

I consider the feedback I receive from my kids - in this case my son - as one piece of information. My clients on the hand, want me to travel more often to where they are. My wife - depending on her mood - either wants me home or not ;-)

This might seem like a dilemma where I have to either disappoint my kids or my clients.

Receiving the feedback from various sides helps me to think constructively about new options. Let me share with you what I have done to deal with this dilemma:

1. Prioritize working with clients that are close to where I live... this way, I can be at the client and be home for dinner every evening
2. Incentivize my clients to work with me in remote/virtual settings i.e. put a price tag (beyond covering costs of travel) on me travelling to my clients' offices
3. If clients want me to travel, my kids will participate in the financial upside i.e. a share of the extra money clients pay is spent on doing additional fun stuff with my kids
4. Develop more and more partners globally that can serve our clients whenever I do not want to travel

Feedback is the most important driver for improvement.

There are very few excellent people that do not require outside feedback for their personal and professional growth... I have never met such a person in my life.

All the top performers I know and have read about put a lot of effort into creating an environment where they receive constant, constructive criticism.

Any top athlete does that. Any top manager does that. Any top actor does that... Just watch how the best directors work with the actors. It is constant feedback... constant back and forth... constant inspect and adapt.

So next time you receive feedback, don't bother too much about how it was delivered. Focus on what was said, appreciate it, and think what it means for you. How will it shape your next decision in that particular area?

#FromNothingComesNothing