Financial Planners, Here's How To Build Safe Relationships (And Why It Matters)

With all of it's extraordinary capabilities, the human brain has one primary function:

Survival.

Not only physical safety, but psychological and emotional safety, too. When people feel uncertain, their brains go on high alert, scanning for any potential risk.

Nowhere is this more apparent than when someone meets with a financial planner for the first time. Talking about money can feel uncomfortable or intimidating. It’s tied to security, identity, and even self-worth. Sharing those details with a stranger? 

That’s a big leap of trust.

If you’re a financial planner, you’ve likely seen it: The hesitation in their voice, the guarded body language, the “Can I trust you?” look in their eyes.

Your first job isn’t to sell; it’s to create a space where they feel comfortable enough to open up.

Here are three do’s and three don’ts to help you establish trust and create a feeling of safety:

3 Safety Building Do’s  

1. Lead with Empathy: Start the conversation with their concerns, not your expertise, background or company history. Ask questions that show you care about their unique situation. Example: “What is the biggest financial challenges that you can’t get past?”
2. Be Real: Acknowledge the difficulty of the conversation and share relatable insights. When people see that you’re human, their guard comes down. Example: “Most people find it hard to talk about money, especially when they first meet someone. What will make this an easier conversation for you?”
3. Build Confidence with Small Steps: Instead of overwhelming them with everything you can do, offer one simple, actionable insight to get started. Example: “Let’s start by talking about your overall objectives. If after that, we feel it’s a good fit, we’ll discuss next steps.”

3 Safety Building Don’ts  

1. Don’t Jump Into Selling: Diving straight into a pitch or showcasing your expertise feels transactional. Prospective clients will emotionally shut you out. People need to feel understood before they’re ready to hear solutions. Alternative response: Imagine a client starts with conversation with a comment like, “Well, what ya got for me?” That’s not a question you can answer. You don’t know details about them. Instead, turn the tables with a response like, “If I was a doctor and started prescribing you medicine without knowing what’s wrong with you, you’d leave. Before I can tell you what I’ve got, let’s talk about your goals and challenges. Dig deep with questions until you understand the emotions beneath their objectives.
2. Never Downplay Their Concerns: Responding to their concerns with “That’s no big deal” or “I’ve worked with other people who had bigger challenges” will invalidate their concerns and kill your chances of developing trusting relationship. Alternative response: Suppose a prospective client says, “We’re scared that there’s no way we can educate our kids without destroying our retirement.” Respond with a comment like, “We’ve worked with many families that have that fear. Because every situation is unique, let’s take it step-by-step and determine what’s possible to enable you to accomplish both goals.This reply makes the person feel heard and understood, and also acknowledges their situation is different than others. This builds trust and safety.
3. Don’t Overwhelm with Details: Bombarding them with too much information will make the process feel confusing, intimidating, and like a job. Alternative response: Break your martinis into easy-to-follow, digestible steps.Obviously, the goal of a selling situation is to sell a product, service, or idea. However, that’s the end result of a sometimes lengthy process. The starting point of that journey is to create a feeling that you are someone trustworthy and safe to work with.

When you approach conversations with empathy, realness, and a focus on small wins, you lower the psychological barriers that keep people from fully engaging fully. In an era when AI can make us question everything we read or hear, trust takes longer to build.  It starts with making people feel secure in working with you.

How do you build trust in your client relationships?  

Need Help Creating Your Safety-Building Presentations?

Schedule time to talk with me to discover how you can craft speeches, stories, and presentations that make you stand out, open doors, and begin building a feeling of safety.

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