Finding Peace in the Peaks: My Transformative Journey in the Dolomites

I recently returned from an extraordinary experience that left me profoundly changed. The Italian Dolomite mountains provided a breathtaking backdrop for a journey of self-discovery and connection. Over several days, I found myself amidst ten remarkable women, most of whom I had never met before. Together, we faced the physical challenges of climbing, hiking, and trekking, pushing our fitness levels to new heights. But beyond the physical exertion, I discovered something even more profound — a sense of peace and the ability to relinquish control that I hadn’t even realized I needed.

Last fall, I signed up for Boredroom Breakouts ’ Women in Leadership trip to Italy, led by the inspirational Sarah Line . At the time, I was looking for a way to push myself out of my comfort zone and grow in a completely different environment. As a lifelong learner, I'm always listening to leadership podcasts or diving into growth books. I had also envisioned taking a solo trip, exploring somewhere new without my usual companions. It wasn’t until I was on the mountain, taking one step at a time, that I realized how much I needed this trip to break free from past hurts that had been holding me back, causing me to build walls and remain in a state of worry and control.

I knew I was ready for this retreat, even needing inspiration and change because I felt myself not living in a peaceful state. My body was actually screaming at me — major joint and muscle pain with no medical explanation. I thought I’d get on that mountain and have the meditative time to dig deep into myself, but I didn’t. The type of hiking we were doing forced me to focus only on the exact step I was taking. Moving outside of that focus could result in a dangerous slip — for myself and others in the group.

Reaching the hut that first night after a summit and (very) steep descent, trekking through and over rocks, snow, and even a roadway that seemed like safe, solid horizontal ground but was just as steep as the mountain we hiked, I felt disappointed. I wanted time to get quiet with my thoughts, to hear God’s intentions and learn where I was stuck. In that disappointment, I realized the beauty of being in the absolute present. I couldn’t think about previous steps — lamenting what I did wrong or right or what someone said or didn’t say. I could only plan a few steps ahead, carefully plotting my footing rather than overly planning to avoid criticism or disappointment. Once I gained clarity about where and how I was stuck – and that I was in overdrive – I felt the peace my mind and body desperately needed.

On the mountain, I let go of past hurts and released the control they had over me. I know there is more work to do and more to uncover so that I can live in the peace of being in the moment. I'm excited to do that work.

I also realized that I wasn’t ever scared on that mountain. Even when there was uncertainty about what was under the snow, where the trail continued, how I might get up or down the steep cliffside, or what others might need from me, I wasn’t nervous. So why would I allow my mind to become so stuck in protection mode out of fear of what others might think, do, or say? If I wasn’t fearing for my life thousands of vertical feet up, where I could stumble and fall to my death, why was I so fearful of not being less than perfect and someone might be disappointed?

Experiencing hurt and feeling unworthy or not valued comes from various points in my life. My mind didn’t want me to feel the pain of being unloved, the cruelty of others, the control from others, rejection, and indifference. It wanted to protect me from those heart-wrenching feelings, so it pushed me to run various conversations in my head, fret over how someone might respond, and worry about how others might experience my leadership or events.

The visual in my mind is a boot print on that first step on the mountain from dry and dusty ground to the snow. It’s a clear print, a reminder to live in that single step and only the few steps ahead. I can (and should) have a vision of where the trail will end and where I’ll get to rest, but I can only focus on what is directly in front of me. My safety depends on being right here and right now. Fretting about how I’ll get up and over the next pass is a waste of energy. My energy needs to focus on these immediate steps.

The name of this women’s leadership retreat was Igniting the Shift. It was a major breakthrough for me in realizing not only where I was stuck but why I was stuck. Before I left for the trip, a very good friend reminded me that I was loved. I was thankful for that message and thought I knew that. However, it took doing something so outside of my comfort zone and that forced focus to truly see it for myself and understand the how and why I was too "in it" to truly see.

This realization is not just important for my well-being but also as a leader. Letting go of the need for control and embracing the present moment allows me to lead with greater clarity and authenticity. It helps me to be more responsive and empathetic to the needs of others, rather than being caught up in my own fears and insecurities. As a leader, this shift is crucial in fostering a positive and supportive environment where others can thrive. It demonstrates the power of vulnerability and the importance of staying grounded in the present, enabling me to serve as a guide to others with a clear and focused mind.

I want to thank my fellow adventurers. Sarah Line , Alexandra Zauner , Jaime Taets , Olivia Adam , Kristina McMillan , Kelly Aronson , Christen Cook , Sarah DeBruin , and Iris Erickson , you allowed me to show up just as I was and gave me the grace to discover more about myself. This was so transformative for me, and I am forever thankful to have experienced all that we did together.