Finding Your Joy

Last week, my theatre company, Southern Plains Productions , produced Dance Nation, a Pulitzer Prize finalist that’s as complex as it is humorous. This coming-of-age play, set in the world of 13-year-old dancers vying for a national competition, is a shocking blend of Abby Lee Miller, Judy Bloom and Dr. Ruth. 

While strong language and raw reality might not typically be my thing, I found myself laughing, crying, and deeply resonating with the characters. The play is performed by adults reliving their younger selves, interspersed with flash-forwards that poignantly illustrate how our youthful dreams and ambitions shape who we become. It was a whimsical reminder for me of how the things that once brought us enjoyment can reveal what might bring us joy today.

In her book Write Your Own Story, Rebecca Fleetwood Hession eloquently discusses how each chapter of our lives flows into the next, sculpting who we are and who we aspire to be. She reflects on how once upon a time her pursuit of achievement overshadowed the simple, joyful pursuits she once cherished. Hession’s insight—that she had been living life like she was running a business, measuring and optimizing every moment—struck a chord with me.

Her journey back to embracing joy reminded me of my own tendency to get lost in the chase for the next big thing, often forgetting the simple pleasures that once defined me. As we reminisce about our younger, carefree days, we often uncover the moments that truly filled us with joy.

In Dance Nation, my favorite scene features Maeve, who confides in a friend about her unique ability to fly—literally. She radiates pure joy as she recounts floating above the Grand Canyon, only to realize decades later that she had forgotten this magical power. As she flashes forward to her older self she shares this: 

“And one day I’ll forget that I ever used to fly.  Because the truth is - I did. I did actually have the power to fly. Or to float, or whatever. But somehow, along the way I forgot about it.  I forgot ALL about it. 

It was the coolest thing I ever did. And I forgot it. 

I forgot it ever happened. 

On multiple occasions. It happened. And I forgot.”

Isn’t it curious how we often let go of what once brought us immense joy? As priorities shift, we can lose sight of our passions.

Recently, I worked with a client who, despite a successful career and family life, lamented the loss of personal joy. His hobbies have been shelved (literally in a closet right behind his office desk), and the guilt for wanting to pursue them has taken root. Yet, as he talked to me about his passions, his face lit up, and the joy was palpable. It became clear that making time for what he loved was not just a luxury but a necessity for his well-being. And, for the well-being of those around him. 

The lesson here is about prioritizing yourself by creating space for what brings you joy — guilt-free.

For me, roller skating might be a thing of the past (goodbye, Xanadu!) but I am making more time for creating memories with loved ones. And, I still find joy in a bit of harmless family mischief. I mean, my brother Russ Henneberry is turning the big 5-0 this year, so, watch out brother Russ, I'm coming for you! --LOL! 

So, what about you? What did you used to adore that’s missing from your adult life? How can you recapture that joy and prioritize your own needs without feeling guilty? 

Give yourself permission to reconnect with those sources of joy so that you can show up as your best self—both for you and those around you.

Want to know more? Let’s Chat! 

Ellen is an executive thought leader, business strategist and coach who is optimistic, energetic, and committed to serving and connecting others. For over two decades she has worked to champion others to be their best selves through new ways of thinking about human interactions, talent, leadership and life. Her unique approach coaches clients to recognize and respond to what is holding them back from unleashing their powerful gifts and talents.

As a passion project, she runs a theatre company that performs live theatre in site-specific spaces with a mission to reimagine live theatre with innovative artistic experiences that bring our community together.