Five Steps to Build Your Emotional Intelligence

You’re probably familiar with the term “IQ” — that time-tested measure of intelligence — and possibly you’ve heard of EQ, but you aren’t so certain what EQ is and why it is important.

Your EQ (emotional quotient) measures your EI (emotional intelligence). EI is your ability to understand and manage your own emotions as well as those of others. It is the aspect of intelligence that allows you to tap into your own feelings and tune into those of others.

Our ability to manage our own emotions, as well as read and respond appropriately to others’ cues, attests to our emotional well-being. When we are strong emotionally, we interact with clients, colleagues, and family with poise and cultivate solid interpersonal relationships.

So why is emotional intelligence important to you? As you develop your EI, you become keenly aware of your thoughts and actions and how they impact others. You show compassion toward others and create conditions for healthy communication with family and friends. You strengthen connections at work, build employee morale and, ultimately, boost results. What’s more, you bolster your resilience and respond to adversity with increased calmness and clarity.

EI entails five steps that build from the bottom up. The steps are pyramidal with social skills at the peak.

The five steps are:

1.  Self-awareness: Forming the foundation, this is our ability to pinpoint our true emotions. We are keenly cognizant of our strengths and weaknesses and how they affect others.
2. Self-regulation: Aware of our feelings, we now mitigate negative emotions such as anger. We may control our impulses by reframing a negative situation into a positive, resetting harmful thought patterns through a change of scenery, or retraining our mind to remain open to new ideas.
3. Motivation: Setting clear goals — and preparing for roadblocks — underpins this step. And our constant quest for improvement energizes us.
4. Empathy: In our continual climb, we now focus outward. We distinguish feelings behind others’ actions as we anticipate their needs, appreciate diversity, and become politically aware.
5. Social Skills: These pinnacle “people skills” help us cultivate fruitful relationships. When we master these skills, we can influence individuals and teams toward positive outcomes. We can lead with confidence and kindness, encourage productive change, and resolve conflicts with collaborative strategies so that everyone wins.

EI involves a skillset that, like a muscle, can be strengthened. If you would like to bolster your ability to build successful relationships, check out my course library at the Ease & Flow Academy at SophiaCasey.net.