Four great reasons to say, "Yes!" more

My column, The Communicator, this week shares the story of a young man who went from spending 14 hours a day playing video games to an inspiring adventurer who - among other amazing feats - swam a thousand miles down the Missouri River. What is holding you back from realizing your own personal or professional big adventure? Read on below or online at the Sunday Independent - and you might find yourself putting down the PlayStation and picking up a challenge!

Over the past few years, you’ve likely noticed a trend in business communications urging people to, “Say No More.” As in, say “no” to that extra project the boss wants to you to take on and you think you better consent to so you can prove you’re a team player, a leader or whatever else will move you up that corporate ladder. 

Say no to the urge to always being a people (or boss) pleaser. Say no to over-promising on something that ends up resulting in you under-delivering. Say no to extra stress. Just say no. While I agree with the examples I touched upon, today’s column explores exactly the opposite statement: learning how to say, “yes” more.

I recently met a man who is so committed to saying yes that he has made it his personal mantra. Proudly calling himself a “yes man”, Dave Cornthwaite formed a global community of regional groups designed to bring people together through events and spaces to “help ideas and mindsets blossom.” The name of this group? “The Yes Tribe.”

He’s an author of several books, a motivational speaker and a short film maker. Dave is also one heck of an adventurer with several long-distance achievements under his belt including skateboarding over 1,400 kilometres across Australia, paddleboarding some 2,000 miles down the Mississippi River and swimming more than a thousand miles down the Missouri River.

Born in England, this past week Dave turned 40. To celebrate he announced that on his birthday he would cover 40 miles within 24 hours “using a different form of non-motorised transport for each mile.” Of course. Now, I’m not here to encourage you to take up some intense cross-country endurance challenge for yourself. Unless you want to. But I wonder how many of us say “no” too often?

“I think a lot of people roll through life without a lot of satisfaction and they know there could be more,” Dave told me over the phone on Tuesday. “But they haven’t talked to someone who has told them there is more or they haven’t had that moment where they get a certain health diagnosis or someone they care about gets a diagnosis that catapults them into awareness that they should live life to its fullest.”

Thankfully, for Dave, neither he nor a loved-one received a health diagnosis that propelled him to say yes more, but he did have a talk with someone. With his cat. On another birthday, fifteen years ag

“I woke up and had a chat with my cat. I realised I had a nowhere job and relationship and had developed a 10-hour-a-day PlayStation habit. I’d been on the planet for 25 years and accomplished nothing. On one hand I counted the things I wanted to get rid of in my life. On the other hand, I ticked off things I wanted more of: to travel, a satisfying way to earn a living….and on the last finger, I added, ‘to say yes more.’”

Dave’s change didn’t happen overnight. It took him another six months to put his first adventure into action. But looking back, he has advice for any of us at any age who want more.

1. Don’t make any more excuses.

“Everything is a potential excuse for anything,” Dave admonishes. “I wasn’t a skateboarder before I started my first adventure. I wasn’t a swimmer either. I know there’s always a way.”

2. Get rid of all negative people.

It’s very hard for positive change to emerge when you’re being held back by resenters, naysayers or this word I learned since I moved here to Ireland: “begrudgers”. Dave estimates that outside of family, he only still communicates with “maybe two people” he knew before he was 25. 

“You have to be pretty ruthless.”

3. Persist.

“Do not ever give up on a challenge if you’re hungry or tired,” Dave sagely advises. “First eat a meal and get some rest, then revisit it.” He also states if you love something enough and have enough passion to keep at it, there can be a living out of it. He says he got his first book deal a half hour after he finished his first adventure – the one where he skateboarded around Australia. He also adds that money is not his driver. He saves more and spends less and his life is full because, “of the experiences, not wealth. I’m constantly trying to live cheaply.”

4. Give yourself a reason.

Dave says, “Imagine something that will get you excited to start making steps. If you make your decision from the gut, not the head or heart, you can feel it and you know it will work out. That’s your wake-up call. Do it for yourself, not to impress anyone else. Unless you’re doing it for yourself, you can lose momentum. But if it doesn’t work out, say yes again.”

As of this writing, there is not a formal chapter of the Yes Tribe in my adopted home country of Ireland, but as Dave told me, “all it would take would be one dedicated individual.” 

Anyone out there ready to say, “yes?” Let me know and I’ll connect you!

Write to Gina in care of SundayBusiness@independent.ie or right here!

With corporate clients in five continents, Gina London is a premier communications strategy, structure and delivery expert. She is also a media analyst, author, speaker and former CNN anchor. @TheGinaLondon