From Divorce, Debt & Depression to Living Life on My Terms

Do you ever feel like life just happens to you?

And a lot of the time what happens totally sucks.

That’s exactly how I used to feel.

My head used to be caught up thinking about the past, or things that may happen in the future. But I was rarely in the present moment. This meant I wasn’t focused on what I had to do and it made me feel distant and disengaged.

I would think buying that new car, watch or latest gadget would make me happy. Part of that was believing it was giving me some status in other people's eyes. It was true that having that latest shiny thing did make me happy for a little while, but I’d find the feeling wouldn’t last that long.

By the time I was in my early 30’s my life was a mess. I ended up divorced from my first wife (my daughters both being young at the time).

I used to frequently visit the past in my mind and torture myself with the images of my daughters looking confused and upset. I felt like this was a period of darkness I had to endure. I didn’t know of any other way to deal with it.

Getting the divorce, supporting my children financially, starting a new business, as well as trying to support myself, all at the same time, meant my finances began to crack. The strain felt too much both mentally and financially.

To make matters worse, work started to dry up in my fledgling business. In desperation, I was taking out loans to hold things together but making things worse. I was constantly making bad decisions in all areas of my life.

This finally ended up with a mountain of debt totalling £57,000 ($79,000)!!!

By this time I had an overwhelming feeling of nothingness inside me and I felt so low. I was depressed. I had thoughts about ending it all, it just seemed easier than being under the crushing weight of all the thoughts rushing through my head. I was looking to the future but could only see darkness.

Everything collapsed around me and I felt ashamed of the mess I’d gotten myself into. But it was tinged with a sense of relief that everything had finally come to a head.

After 5 long years, my debts were finally settled but my credit score was in the toilet, I couldn’t even get a cell phone contract.

It took me a long time to recover from those moments, as they seemed to drag like an anchor on my life.

I’d responded to all my challenges with fear and anxiety because that’s how life felt to me. I’d lost control over everything, including myself.

Have you ever felt fear or anxiety in your life because you couldn’t see your way out of a situation? Did you end up making bad decisions in life, relationships or your business?

It was around this time that I really started to embrace personal development to try and pull myself out of the hole I’d gotten myself into. It had a motivational effect and I’d make changes here & there, but often found it hard to stay motivated.

I started hearing about how we create our own happiness and inner peace no matter what’s going on in the world around us. It sounded fantastic, but it never seemed clear how to make it happen in my own life.

After watching & listening to countless courses and reading more personal development books than I can remember, I finally came across something that started to make sense to me. Some teachings called the 3 Principles. I won’t lie, initially, I didn’t get it, but I knew there was something special here. When it finally did click, I was totally blown away by what I found.

By seeing the 3 Principles in my life, my experiences started to shift dramatically.

My relationships all started to improve as I realised that others weren’t causing me to feel hurt, angry, upset or guilty. I was creating all these feelings inside of me and always had been. I just wasn’t aware of it before. This set me free and my relationships have never been better.

I had been out of love with my business for some time, which meant I wasn’t productive. I used to procrastinate and look for things to distract me. I didn’t even realise I was doing it at the time.

When I saw how the 3 Principles worked in my business, I realised it was only me getting in my own way. Once I embraced this, I naturally started to feel a sense of ease and joy around my work again. I’ve finally found a healthy work/life balance because when I’m working I’m now laser-focused, productive and in the moment.

This has really helped in establishing my coaching business as I realise everything I’m creating always starts off in the mind, which includes creating problems and challenges too. Now as soon as I recognise something I would have seen as a problem or a challenge previously, I see it differently than before which provides so many more possibilities and answers that I couldn’t access before.

I’ve rediscovered a spiritual side to myself that creates wonder, excitement and curiosity, that I haven’t known since childhood. It makes my whole life feel playful and fun.

I now live more in the present moment than at any time in my life and that in itself is so powerful. Previously I’d spent a lot of my thinking in the past and future, rarely in the present moment.

When it comes to making decisions about my life or business, I use my intuition and gut instinct and I trust, that with what I know at the time and the resources I have, it’s the right choice.

I’m resilient to whatever life throws up and feel confident I can handle whatever comes my way in the future.

I’m on a mission to help as many people as I can see their lives, relationships and businesses in a totally different way.

Imagine being able to banish your fear and anxiety and create inner peace in its place.

Picture being able to be totally in the moment and focused on whatever you choose.

Wouldn’t it be amazing to see possibilities you never realised you had by looking at life through a different lens?

I hope this resonates with you, I’d love to hear what you think.

I have just four spaces left in September to work with me one-to-one. If my story inspires you and you want to know more about how I could help you in your life and business then email me: mike@mgperformancecoaching.com

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Use this link to book a 30-minute virtual chat over a coffee.

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Love Mike