From Manager to Coach: Navigating the Challenges of Leadership and Growth
Quote: Who you are is how you coach. You are as good a coach as your self awareness. It begins with you, it’s not about you. It’s learning about you. : Colin Lee
Leadership is often romanticized as a smooth upward climb, but my journey as a manager has been far from that. It’s been a cycle of building teams, watching them thrive, and then facing the inevitable decline—a “boom and bust” process that left me stronger but, at times, wary. It felt as though I was searching for an elusive code, like an engineer deciphering an unsolvable puzzle, all while asking myself: “How can I be a better manager?”
Breaking the Cycle of Over-Advising
It wasn’t until I delved into coaching training that I recognized a major pattern in my leadership style: the relentless need to solve, fix, and advise. While well-intentioned, this approach often did more harm than good. I offered solutions, yet my team sometimes felt unheard, and I felt judged by their successes or failures. Colin, once noted that advises to people felt like “bubbles and question marks,” floating by without sticking. And that is because advise is more about the perspective of the person giving it, less about listening and understanding the journey of the person seeking advise. It presupposed that the person seeking advise to be less capable.That feedback stung, but it shifted my perspective.
The Power Shift: From Telling to Asking
Through my coaching journey, I discovered that real leadership isn’t about being the hero with all the answers; it’s about being the guide who asks the right questions. Powerful questions like, “What would it look like if you trusted your instinct?” or “What do you make every rejection to mean about you?” opened up space for my advisers to reflect, grow, and own their path. This shift not only empowered them but allowed me to see that being a manager was just one part of the equation. I began to ask: Is there more to leadership than simply managing?
Seeing the Whole Person
One of the greatest lessons from my coaching training was the importance of building self-esteem. Coaching is not just about solving a problem; it’s about seeing individuals as whole, capable, and creative. When I shifted to listening for their world instead of listening to their problems, I created a space where my team felt seen and valued. Wendy Koh’s insight, “Coach the person, not the problem,” echoed in my mind, transforming how I approached one-on-one conversations.
Balancing the Hats: Manager, Mentor, and Coach
As a manager, I’ve learned that there’s a time for each role:
• Consultant: To provide expert solutions.
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• Mentor: To inspire with personal stories and experiences.
• Counselor: To guide through past and present challenges.
• Coach: To empower growth by asking questions.
The coaching mindset—future-focused, solution-oriented, and rooted in inquiry—became the anchor that brought balance to my leadership approach.
Letting Go of the Superman Complex
For years, I believed I had to be the one with all the answers, bearing the weight of my team’s success or failure. This “superman complex” led to bottlenecks, self-doubt, and stifled creativity. But when I embraced the idea that I didn’t need to be the savior, I found freedom. Freedom to collaborate, co-create, and see my advisers as partners in building solutions. And ironically, it was this mindset shift that allowed me to support their growth more effectively.
What I Learned About Leadership
Every resignation still feels like a loss, a mourning. But now, I view it as an opportunity to reconnect with my purpose: to build a culture of trust, resilience, and continuous growth. The question that stuck with me was one Kurt Ng once posed: “What do you want to create, and who do you want to serve?” That simple question reshaped my vision and reminded me why I started this journey in the first place.
A Call to Fellow Leaders
As I continue to evolve, I’m committed to embracing coaching principles—not just to drive results but to nurture the potential in others. To my fellow managers and aspiring leaders: What lessons have you learned in balancing the roles of manager, mentor, and coach? How do you unlock the potential of your team while staying true to your values?
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1moI think if someone is a fast learner, they can achieve anything just that will be a matter of time. What you think about this?