From 'Mechanical Moron' to Management Guru

In a thought-provoking discussion, renowned executive coach Marshall Goldsmith explores the concept of identity and how we can create new versions of ourselves without feeling like impostors. His insights offer valuable lessons for leaders navigating various transitions in their professional and personal lives.

The Four Building Blocks of Identity

Goldsmith introduces four key components that shape our identity:

1. Remembered Identity: Based on our past experiences and memories
2. Reflected Identity: Formed by feedback from others
3. Programmed Identity: Influenced by others' expectations of our future
4. Created Identity: The new person we can become

"How do we know who we are?" Goldsmith asks. He explains that our identity is shaped by our memories, what others have told us, what we've been programmed to believe about our future, and ultimately, what we choose to create for ourselves.

Breaking Free from Programmed Limitations

Goldsmith shares a personal anecdote about being programmed to believe he had no mechanical skills. He recalls:

"My mother said, 'Marshall, you have no mechanical skills. And you will never have any mechanical skills for the rest of your life.' I am programmed to believe—you have no mechanical skills. You will never have any mechanical skills."

This programming had a profound impact on his development. Goldsmith explains:

"How does this programming impact my development as a child? I'm never encouraged to be around cars or tools, mechanical things, and what happens is I don't learn. My father says, 'You have no mechanical skills.' My friends, 'You have no mechanical skills.'"

The belief was so ingrained that when Goldsmith took the U.S. Army aptitude test at age 18, he scored in the bottom 2% on the Mechanical Aptitude section. He reflects, "I think I was defeated by random chance."

It wasn't until he was 26 years old, pursuing his Ph.D. at UCLA, that a professor challenged this long-held belief:

"Dr. Tannenbaum looks at me and says, 'Marshall, how do you know you have no mechanical skills?' Well, I said, it's hopeless, I took a test, I was defeated by random chance. He said, 'How are your mathematical skills?' Excellent mathematical skills. Perfect score on the SAT math achievement test, nine courses of math past calculus. Wonderful mathematical skills. He said, 'Why is it you can solve complex mathematical problems but you cannot solve even simple mechanical problems?'"

This story illustrates how deeply ingrained our programmed identities can be and how they can limit our potential.

Leadership Lesson: As leaders, we must recognize and challenge our own limiting beliefs. What assumptions about your abilities might be holding you back in your career transition? Are there skills you've dismissed based on old programming?

The Impact of Sibling Dynamics

Goldsmith highlights how our identities are often shaped in relation to our siblings. He observes:

"Almost every sibling that I work with has been defined by their parents vis-a-vis their siblings. For example, she's the smart one. He's the clever one. She's the great athlete. He's responsible."

He points out that even positive labels can have downsides:

"There's nothing wrong with being responsible. It's when you have to be responsible all the time that it starts getting old. There's nothing wrong with being the smart one. The problem is when you always have to be smart. That's when it gets tiresome."

Leadership Lesson: In team dynamics, be aware of how you might be inadvertently labeling team members. Encourage versatility and growth rather than pigeonholing individuals into fixed roles.

Creating a New Identity: The Bono Example

Goldsmith recounts a dinner with rock star Bono, who has successfully navigated multiple identity transitions. He describes Bono's evolution:

"The first part of his identity was kind of regular guy. Not pompous or pretentious. Very much a regular person... After regular guy, the next part of his identity was rock-and-roll fan. He's still a fan of music, and he talked about the groups he loved and how they influenced his life. Then he became a musician... Then he became a rock star... And now he's a humanitarian."

Goldsmith admires Bono's ability to embrace new identities:

"To his credit, you know what he said to himself? Forget that. If I want to help people, I shouldn't have to apologize or be ashamed of it. And he is devoting a huge amount of his life right now to helping others."

This example demonstrates that we can add new dimensions to our identity without losing authenticity.

Leadership Lesson: As you move through career transitions or take on new responsibilities, embrace the opportunity to add new facets to your identity. You don't have to abandon your past selves to grow into new roles.

Applying These Insights to Various Transitions

1. Career Transitions: When moving to a new role or industry, identify which aspects of your current identity serve you well and which might need to evolve. Create a vision for your new professional identity that builds on your strengths while embracing new challenges.
2. Aging Transitions: As we age, our identities naturally shift. Instead of clinging to past versions of yourself, focus on the wisdom and experience you've gained. How can you create a new identity that values these attributes?
3. Meeting-to-Meeting Transitions: Even in day-to-day work, we shift identities. You might be a stern decision-maker in one meeting and a supportive mentor in the next. Practice mindful transitions, consciously adapting your approach to each context.

Conclusion

Goldsmith concludes with a challenge to his audience:

"Challenge yourself. Think about, What is my identity now? Second, where did that identity come from? My memories, feedback from others, programming? What is the new person I want to create? How can I create a new identity? A different person, a better person. A person who's not the same as the person who's there now, without being a hypocrite, without being a phony, creating a better me."

His insights remind us that our identities are not fixed. By understanding the sources of our current identity and actively creating new aspects of ourselves, we can navigate transitions more effectively. Remember, embracing a new identity doesn't make you a hypocrite or a phony—it's a natural part of growth and leadership.

As you face your next transition, big or small, ask yourself: What is the new person I want to create? How can I evolve my identity to become a better leader, colleague, and individual?